Feeling like a horrible mother!

For about a month (maybe more) me and DH have had trouble caring for our home. We both have bipolar and currently sleeping a lot. We bought a ticket for our son to "visit" his grandparents because right now we are both sick. We've been working hard care for him until he leaves. We don't know how long he will be gone for but it'll be up to 4 months . Everyone, Including him, thinks he's going up for summer vacation.

He leaves in 2 days, and I feel like a horrible mom not being able to care for him right now. Logically I know that him staying with family 600 miles away is the best for him but I've been only with him for 4 months and sick most of that time. I was away the last three months of 2011. I'll miss his 10th birthday and feel robbed, I know this is the thing to do but hate this. I want to be a good mom why is that to hard to ask? Why can't I be okay or if not me my husband? Why is this once again ruining my family? My son's going to feel so abandoned because I feel like I'm walking in and out of his life! I know I'm possibly going inpatient the day after he leaves but I hate not being able to be there with / for him some times.

i know it hurts but you are doing what is best for both him and you, and that is what a GOOD mom does, not that that stops it hurting. hugs to you

I know, I've never really had guilt, until recently I guess the medication is working. It's so hard not to just cry because I feel like I'm ruining my child's life. I'm watching him all teary eyed today. Tomorrow is his last night here I kinda feel I'll be devastated as his train pulls away.

Many times the right things to do is not the easy thing to do. He is blessed to have a parent that looks past the pain of sending him off for a little while, for his good. A little time away from his parents will not scar him for life. But seeing you suffer and fight your disease would stick with him, kids hate to see their parents suffer. And if you are tired and snap at him with harsh words those words would also stick with him.

He left excited this morning. I don't think the lenth of time has hit us but it's a good thing.

I feel you made there right choice. You did good for you, your husband, and you kid. I’m sure you will miss him, but as long as you reach out to him frequently and show him that you miss him and care about what happens to him regardless of his or your location you can minimize how the distance feels. The next important thing for YOU is to concentrate on getting better. That means concentrating on finding the right treatment provider/s, and combination of drugs and/or therapy.

Being a mom with mental illness issues is hard. I'm proud of you for doing what you know is best for him, even though it hurts you, and other's outside of the situation won't understand.

I think that you are brave and strong and that you love your son enough to do what is best for him. You are a good mother!

In case you doubt that you are a good mother, read a little about this mother and you will see how wonderful you are to put your son's wellbeing first:

http://bringflorentinekidshome.wordp...ild-abduction/

He's not doing well, we seem to be getting better in some ways, and worse in others. I know we have like a month to get it together but it's so not working and I don't know how to fix it.

If you're sick, you're sick and need help. I've even been in the hospital during my children's birthdays. I was sad about that, but I was so depressed, I needed help. And if I didn't get it, then I might have done myself in, and they wouldn't have me at all! If you had a different kind of illness (God forbid, cancer, for example), and couldn't take care of your kids, then wouldn't you know you were doing the right thing by getting treatment? You have to get yourself better, so you CAN be a better mother. Okay?

I'm just getting REALLY frustrated not seeing any improvement but actually seem worse but with more energy. My husband is getting worse but at least he cleaned the house. So people can at least walk in. My son seems to be going through his own MH issues and it kills me not being able to be there for him or get him the help he deserves.

Are you able to be in touch with a mental health professional? Someone needs to know you are struggling who can adjust your meds or whatever. How about your son and husband? Are they able to go to a clinic? Some of them have sliding scales, where people pay according to income, if that's an issue.

Me and my Husband have a great team but we see our Pdoc's 4-6x a year, last time I was taken off my anti-depressant and worry about hospitalization if I call, or a dx change. I can't tell what would be worse. My husband just got his meds adjusted and thinks I need mine adjusted. My therapist was NOT happy when I told her that I see pdoc in Aug. and has been sure to schedule my appointments when my pdoc is in the office. My son does have a Pdoc but it's 2x a year and therapist 6-12x a year. We have convinced him when he comes back to go to our center.