Custody question

I'm in the process of divorcing my wife (her idea not mine) our daughter is 12, doesn't know about the divorce.

I want 50/50 custody, but know my soon to be ex won't go for that.

Do you think 50/50 is fair?

Hi Mike! I'm the child of divorce so I only know about it from the child's perspective... yes, I think 50/50 is fair. But it's not always likely to happen. Custody agreements are tricky things. The original custody agreement when I was a kid and my parents divorced was dad got us every other weekend. But that quickly didn't work when we moved out of province and then it became every summer and every other Christmas break... :S

Talk to a lawyer about custody agreements?

I have talked to a lawyer, and 50/50 is sort of standard in our state..

Difficult situation and I want to be fair with my soon to be ex-wife but what is best for our daughter is my TOP priority

From the perspective of an adult who went through it as a child, 50/50 is really, really hard.
Imagine yourself having to move from home to home every week. You just get comfortable, and it's time to move again.
From the perspective of a parent, I can't imagine agreeing to anything less than 50/50....

Does her work schedule and your work schedule match? Can you move your schedule to 11-7 pm? If you can If she's in school you may be able to get her 3-6 daily and every other weekend.

Thank you, and I mean that seriously, I needed a good laugh.

She doesn't have a work schedule.... she needs a job then we can worry about her "work schedule"

And no I can't move my work schedule, but wouldn't want to, our daughter is in school most of the time I'm at work so I wouldn't be able to see her during the day anyway.

Hi Mike I am new to the site and was reading your post and hought I would give my input. My fiance and his ex-wife have 50/50 custody. We have his 12 yr old daughter every other weeked and every Tuesday and Wednesday. I agree with some of the comments about the child getting comfortable, then having to go to the other parents. However, every situation is unique to th echild. My step-daughter is pretty busy when she is with her mom. She is at the age where her and her mom argue alot. So sometimes coming here is a good break and relaxing atmosphere for her. We have been doing this for about a year now and so far, she seems to be very accepting of it. Beside the days we have her we also let her know she is welconme here anytime becasue this is home too. Its was hard for her in the beginning, she kept saying dad's house. But now she calls it home...finally. Your daughter belongs to the both of you, you both deserve equal tine with her...its part of staying in her life, which is important for a tween. Provided neither of you move out of state, and are within driving distance, I think 50/50 doesn't seem like your doing it out of anger to your ex, it seems like you want to be a part of your childs life. As long as you are a fit father that can care for his child i think the courts will go along with the 50/50 custody. Good Luck!

50/50 custody is fair, and the courts want both parents to have as much custody as possible (as long as both parents are healthy). Your daughter's opinion does matter at this point, to an extent as well.

Try to stay in the same general area as your (ex) wife, to keep your daughter's changes minimal. She stays in the same school, hopefully the same house, and keeping the rest of her life pretty solid. That helps a lot!

Best wishes to you all.

Just wondering when you and your wife plan on talking to your daughter about this. Do you have any idea what she would want? Just wondering if you think she would want 50/50, if she gets along with both of you equally well, if she would want all school days to be at one house, etc?