[curlyhead]

Hello. I am feeling overwhelmed today with the way my ex and I have been dealing with scheduled visitation for our children. He was due to bring them back the first of the month, but did not. I was unable to speak directly with my attorney's office until today. The only advice offered was for me to call the police. I did call and file a report since he has moved and I cannot locate the children. At this point I am missing my kids and frustrated, but I am not alarmed. I am focusing on trying to deal with my overwhelming emotions. I feel really rotten.

I am posting today to seek input on ways to keep myself in a positive frame of mind as opposed to becoming a pile of sleeping and crying mush. I believe my sadness is normal and to be expected, but it would help to hear some ideas on how to work through this.

[lynn P.]

((curlyhead)) - very sorry this is happening. Has he been late before and how old are your kids? He really needs to respect the return times. I would be very upset if I were you. I pray they'll come back as soon as possible.

[curlyhead]

Originally Posted by lynn P.

((curlyhead)) - very sorry this is happening. Has he been late before and how old are your kids? He really needs to respect the return times. I would be very upset if I were you. I pray they'll come back as soon as possible.

Thank you for the sentiments. He does do this frequently. Our children together are nine and 11. The courts and both our parties agreed to the terms during our divorce. The law is on my side, but this is my situation in this moment.

Not in his defense, he picked them up two weeks late and may now be trying to make up for his tardiness. His behaviors will reflect on the final custody decree as the court sees fit. It is therefore a waste of time for me to get too upset.

I called one of those crisis talk lines last night for moral support. This was an excellent avenue as I felt tremendously better after speaking with the counselor/student. I knew I would be too upset to sleep, so, as he suggested, I distracted myself. I went to the beach with my eldest daughter and a couple of our friends. It was very fun and relaxing!

I am off to the courthouse now to collect official paperwork to begin working on my case against his actions.

I'm sorry, but if anyone took my children and I had no idea where they were and had no way to contact them for ANY period of time, I'd be furious. I would be sending the police after him and making a HUGE stink. You seem very complacent about this.

Perhaps you should consider more direct action to find your children? I don't know. Hope you find your children soon.

[ickydog2006]

I'm glad that you are not making a huge stink of this as it would probably just make you look bad (as long as you feel they are in no danger, which it sounds like violence or sexual abuse was not an issue with this case). Make sure you document everything. I know it's a hassle filling out all these police reports and calling people (like your attorney and social workers), but it will be well worth it in the end. Being their mother already gives you a leg up in the case, and with his responsibility issues it sounds like you're in a very good position.

p.s. Don't worry so much about what farmgirl said. I don't think she was trying to be rude or come across as being unsupportive. It's just her opinion, and I can understand how many people could misinterpret your actions as being too passive. As I said above, from the sound of things, you feel that the father is no danger to your children and that they are completely safe, even if you are unable to reach them. You've informed the law, and are letting them do their job instead of trying to get in the way. Your keeping your eye on the end game and take comfort in knowing these actions will come back to bite him in the butt.

[MandaMay]

Just went through this with my mom filing for grandparent rights and saying I was keeping the kids from her because I had to move out of state, when she got them for her two weeks in the summer she refused to let them come home, I would call them and she would not let me talk to them, I could hear them crying and asking for me, finally my ex father-in law (the kids' dads dad) called and asked to spend the day with the kids, and I called the police to let them know what was going on and she let him take the kids for the day, and he drove them home... then tried to call the cops saying he kidnapped them, that is when they told her she was lucky he got to bring them home and she would have charges filed if she tried this again.... it is scary and truly the only thing you can do is stay on top of things, document every thing, make copies of messages on the computer, sign and date all agreements, time of pickup/drop off that way you and he are both covered... and keep busy as you can doing things until you get the call or knock on the door that they are home! Good luck and praying for a fast return!