Need advice

My daughter has ADHD and has also been diagnosed with ODD. My kids and I recently moved 800 miles away from where they have lived their whole lives to move in with my parents. I am a single, disabled, mother of two small children. My daughter has been doing significantly better since we got here in February. She has been doing ok in school and likes it there. We have only had one episode since we have been here and her ADHD medication is working well. I also immediately got her in therapy when we or here and has been going once a week. It really seems to be helping. We had nothing where we were. My disability didn't cover my bills and we had nothing and mainly didn't go anywhere. They were even times I couldn't afford presents for my kids but we always got by. My kids always had what they needed. Now that we are here and my parents are helping. My parents Have paid for the kids to take gymnastics, swim lessons, this summer soccer camp and basketball camp. Now my daughter is acting ungrateful and nasty all the time. She is way to negative for a 5 year old. When she gets in trouble she says things like you don't love me and you don't want me. When I say no to something like going to the part she goes off the deep end like like I never get to go and I never will get to go again. I just don't know what to do. If I take away her activities then she has no way to get all that hyperactivity Out and it's torture for all of us. I am stressed out and overwhelmed and I don't know what to do. For someone who has had nothing you would think she would be over appreciative and not greedy and nasty. Advice would be appreciated.

Hi Cherry73,

I don't really do "advice"; but I will share my experiences as a single mom of 2 adult kids.

Your daughter is five years old. Wow. "ungrateful" has hissy fits when you do not do what she wants you to do.

I take it you feel rather awful about yourself when you have to play the "meanie" (say "no" to going, doing everything she wants to do) ? But you have to say "no"; sometimes?

All parents have to say "no" at times. These are boundaries you need to set for her. She needs to learn that a "no" from Mom is a "no" and respect your wishes; otherwise, as she gets older; she will always expect to get her way in all ways from you and from LIFE!

For myself? I stood my ground when my kids were little. I played the "bad guy" and set limits. When they had tantrums; I did what people call "Time Out" these days--I did the worst thing, I told them to go to their rooms and have their tantrums. Then, I ignored them for the entire time.....which they still say was the worst thing I did to them...they could not stand to have me ignore them.

I gather that you feel somewhat guilty when you have to lay down the law?

Don't. Kids need a firm, but loving hand...saying "no" to a child lets them know that you love them. Consistency, schedules, firmness on your part/discipline are needed for all children.

I hope something I have written here helps?

You are not a bad mom because you do not allow your daughter to do anything she wants!
You are a wonderful mom! So much more difficult to be a strong example for your daughter; especially as a single mom. It is so important that you do so; in the long run, she will have respect for you as her mom.

KUDOS!! It is not easy to be both a mother and a father to a child.

You are very strong.

hug? virago