help with 6 year old being loud

I need some advice my 6 year old whines and sooks loudly but the worst is when her baby brother is sleeping and she is soo loud it drives me nuts and no matter what I do she gets louder..I am currently trying to correct the whining but its really hard to stick to my gus wgen she soo loud and she wakes him it infuriates me and I am trying to deal with it approrpiatly but it just escalates into a fight..what do I do..thanks in advance

Hello and welcome to Psych Central! First of all, I am wondering if she is jealous of her new sibling. Am I right in assuming she was an only child and got all the attention before he came along? I think she might be acting the way she is to get the attention back. Even negative attention is better than none at all!

Is there any way you can make sure to spend some time with her, to let her know that she is still important and her little brother is not taking her place? I realize while he is sleeping you need to get plenty of other things done, but is there a way she can get some of the time?

What does she enjoy doing? Maybe the two of you could read some books together. Or have a tea party. Or cook together.

I know some parents are able to get older kids to feel a part of the new baby by helping to take care of him/her. I don't know how that would work in this case.

Perhaps even talking to her about how she is your special girl and that the baby is not taking her place in your heart might help. You could ask her about what she would like the two of you to do together. Could you even get someone to look after the little one, so you and your daughter could go out for ice cream or something like that?

Just some thoughts. I hope maybe they can help prime the pump anyway!

Thanks for your reply and advice you may be on to something, however, she doesn't just act out as soon as he goes to bed she is an overly whiny child anyways and I am trying to correct this behavior (she was like this before her brother came along), she is one of those kids that when she doesn't get her way she is loud and whiny, its just a lot harder to correct this behavior when her brother is sleeping because I don't want to make her more mad but at the same time I don't want to enable her. She seems to not have any shame either when she is even out in public having a fit, I realize lots of 6 year olds are like this but compared to her friends (from what I see) she seems more immature I just need help correcting it, she comes across as spoiled, like can't accept me telling her no sometimes. Thanks

Oh, my. Yes, it is important to not encourage her whininess and to not give in to her temper tantrums. Sounds like you have your hands full. Maybe something like: "I do care about you. However, I am not going to listen to you if you use a whiny tone of voice?"

And if she starts a tantrum, then just start walking away--ignoring her. Embarrassing, but if you give in, then she will persist.

Sounds like she gets louder and louder to get your attention, as I say. "You can get as loud as you want to, but I am not going to listen to a loud tone of voice. If you speak to me quietly and respectfully, then I will listen....." And I wonder maybe if she does wake the baby, then you go tend to him--not saying anything to her about doing it. In fact, purposefully making sure not to pay attention to her, but ONLY to the baby, maybe saying only something like, "I am going to need to calm ( ) down and to try to get him back to sleep." And maybe "If he goes back to sleep, then I might be able to listen to what you want to tell me, if you are respectful about it"?

try a star chart with the promise of having a 'mummy time' when she gets five stars .
explain to her that baby is going to sleep, and if she does not wake him up or whine for one hour she will get one star on her chart and when she has five you will spend .....minutes reading a story to her or playing with her. make sure you do not dictate the activity, do play like a friend not a mummy or teacher. once she has got the hang of the stars then increase how many she has to get before she gets a reward. if she wakes him or whines simply say oh well no star today. often just the threat of no star will stop a whine. the first few times when she gets a star go over the top with praise, ring granny, show daddy the chart together ... whatever just really make her feel proud of her achievement.

With my kids I don't let them have anything until they ask nicely without whine in their voice, that's how I put it to them. If they continue or throw a fit, they get put in time out and still don't get it. My son has a problem being too loud and we have worked with it by saying easy talking and giving a hand signal. A flat hand, palm down, lowering it. It has helped. I'm really sorry your so frustrated, I'm like that too really raises the blood pressure haha

Do you try the whisper technique, as she gets loud, the lower your voice goes? Making it a challenge in using her 'quiet' voice?

My kids are loud, regardless. It's when whiny comes in, then they know they aren't going to have me cave.

My oldest, used to have these temper tantrums from Hades. He seems to have finally outgrown them, at 10.

Sounds frustrating that your daughter wakes up the sleeping baby.