[Lauliza]

My 10 year old daughter was tired this am as her dad let her stay up till 10:00. Needless to say she was cranky, rude and was refusing to get ready for school. I took her temp and she was fine. A cold but she was tired and I explained she'd feel better as the day went on. If not she could go to the nurse. She stayed home the day before and was fine by about 11:00. Just stuffy. Anyway the pouting ang tantrum continued. I told her if she didn't she would miss horseback riding this weekend. She then started throwing my things on the floor from my dresser. Nothing breakable but still...them she went to the kitchen and threw the remainder of her breakfast all over the floor. I lost it and said she was being a b***h! The minute I said it my heart sunk and I tried to backtrack but of course it's too late. I've called my daughters brats but never that. I know it's verbally abusive but the frustration got the best of me. Is there anWay to make up for it when a child is this age, or have I ruined everything? I am torn up inside. She cried and said u don't love me and I said " yes I do. Mommmy was wrong to use that word and should never call you names. your behavior is inexcusable but I was still wrong for calling you that". Is there anything else I can do or just let it go and try to get past it? I know kids don't forget...

You seem to have sat down and talked to her about the incident and sincerely apologized while at the same time holding her accountable for her behavior. She'll get past it so long as it isn't a repeated problem. We all have those moments and feel horrid about them. You can't take it back; you can only work to not repeat it, and it is in the not repeating the error that your daughter will be able to get past it.

[tealBumblebee]

She's too old to be throwing things like that - so I totally understand how frustrating that can be. I do think she will remember that forever, and I agree with Sierra that you should work on not ever doing that again, but I think that she will see just how impossible she was being as she gets older and understand your frustration (not anytime soon - but I look back at things I did and kind of understand the position my parent was in the older I get; i guess it comes with maturity). You did what you could, apologized - I don't think you can do anything more now except show consistency in your love for her. I will say, that I don't think you should allow your regret about it to influence your actions towards her (extra privileges etc.) because then you give the situation more power than it should have. I would focus on making sure she works on forgiving you of your transgressions in the same way that you forgive her of hers (however that may be). Hope that you've set a strong enough example of forgiveness for her to reach for as an example. I think/hope you two will be just fine! Kids don't forget, but they honestly do forgive more readily than adults do in some cases. *hugs*

[alicetailor]

This is rather tricky situation. You should apologise but don't over do it, as she may interpret it as validation for her behaviours and warrant it in future.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by alicetailor

This is rather tricky situation. You should apologise but don't over do it, as she may interpret it as validation for her behaviours and warrant it in future.

I agree, here.

See, how your apology, after her unacceptable behavior is now turning into her guilt tripping you? Becomes a slippery, power struggle situation.
Is, tossing your things on the floor less abusive than a vulgarity slipping out?
Did you follow through on no horseback riding?

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