Parent mirrors his self-worth in a child

Hi there,
a simple question: what happens to a child self-worth and self-esteem when while growing up, a parent who should mirror childs self-worth back to him, does an opposite thing - he constantly compare his accomplishments with child, takes credit and brags about childs accomplishments, is jealous when child do something good or have a successful area... etc
Anybody familiar with this kind of dynamic?

Hello, cureav. What you describe is not something I have experienced. Seems like abuse.

My mother did/does something similar.

When ever I experienced an achievement it was never about how I had done well, it was always about how awesome she was for having created such a child or in some other way about her.

I don't know what damage this would do to a child specifically maybe some sort of self worth issues I guess. Like, they perceive that their achievement was really the parents and so they think they have never achieved anything themselves.

Boundaries between the two would probably be pretty blurred too. The parent kind of sees the child as an extension of themselves rather than an individual. (This is something I see a lot with my mother. She seems incapable of understanding that what's mine is not necessarily hers evidenced by her frequent theft of money, use of my things and invasion of my privacy.)

This is it. Its some kind of lack the ability of a parent to allow growth of child identity and individuality. I know that our parents are our creators, but as one philosopher said, "they cannot have our thoughts". I wonder what they did; did they run for their independence or did just what their parents wanted...

The behaviour demonstrates narcisstic tendencies. My mom's a lot like it; she brags about my accomplishments to others, has never said a word of it to me (although she'll brag about me to others in front of me...), but she passes things off as it all being a result of her being such a wonderful mother... when really... if anything, my accomplishments were more of a "must get out of here" motivation!

My relationship with my mom went downhill pretty quickly once I hit the age of having and showing my own opinions. Things are her way, or not at all... and I distanced myself as much as I could as early as I could, in an attempt to preserve myself and my sanity.

...didn't understood this part?

Damn, again this narcissistic traits. I am constantly pointed out on narcissistic and borderline characteristic. Want to get rid of them, but they keep coming back.

Same with my father, but with my mother almost the same; they are afraid of my opinions, and I am only telling the truth. They would rather avoid me, than talk to me. Can't believe that the would rather have children without brains.

A Red Panda: this your need to keep your sense of SELF is natural, but she see it as a selfish act. Maybe she is jealous cause your relationship was enmeshed, and now you want out and disagree with her is some topics.

Thanks a lot to you all for replies!

Self-worth/esteem is what we know/think of ourselves. At first we may take parents words for things/how we are but the more experience we get and the more we pay attention to our experience, the better able we are to judge ourselves for ourselves. A father who says something like "my son is so smart, just a chip off the old block I guess!" is not taking a child's self esteem, just adding to their own perhaps. It would be the son who hears it backwards, hears, "I am so smart, it allowed me to have a son just like me" instead of "my son is smart, just like I am smart". Other people's smartness can not add to or negate my own sense of how smart I am, just my own perceptions.

Well.... I was motivated to get as far away from my family as possible, and to make sure I didn't turn out just like them. I wanted to preserve myself, which meant leaving.

Which was good motivation to achieve the things which she now brags about.

She does totally see my independence as selfish, and has had a very hard time accepting that I am NOT what she wanted me to be.

With the physical distance and setting very strict boundaries... we've worked things into a working relationship - I have my distance and my privacy, but I'll have contact via texting and sometimes online. I offer what information I'm willing to share, but it's always fairly tame stuff. And I just don't respond to prying and will exist the conversation if it gets too personal. She, to do her justice, has slowly learned that it's best to not bother me with questions and she knows that I won't answer the phone. It's just taken 20 years! (I'm turning 30).

This will low down the child's self-esteem. He will get demotivated and will probably loose confidence.

The child can become mentally/emotionally DAMAGED just like the parent already was by their own parents. It's a multi-generational affliction.