My family has lost their mind

Ok, for those of you that have small children and think it gets easier as they get older this is not the thread for you. For the rest, I know I am about to say some horrible things about children that I truly love more than life itself, but better to voice them here than irl.

I HATE drama, hate it hate it hate it. Avoid it at all costs. But lately it seems I cannot have a conversation with anyone in my family without it.

Oldest son - This problem has been entirely one of my own creation. My son has Aspergers. He does not feel pain like other people. In his early childhood that would create ER type situations, so over the years I've hounded him to let us know when something bothers him in the slightest. Mission accomplished. His arthritis has returned. I KNOW THAT THIS IS PAINFUL. But does every single conversation have to revolve around it? OMG. Are you doing what the Dr. said? Well I don't know what I can do for you. If you are not going to follow Dr's orders, my hands are tied. I've suggested every OTC and home remedy. If you don't want to follow the dr's order, or my suggestions, I'm tired of hearing about it. Seriously.

Daughter - Had Baby Daddy drama. LOOK!!!! Your whole life I told you to be selective. The fact that you're just now figuring out that the man that you CHOOSE to have a baby with is a loser, well I can't do a thing about that. That's on you! Baby health issues. The woman that taught me to parent was my Great Grandmother. She had 14 of her own children. 50 Grandchildren, and hundreds of great grandchildren, and several great-great granchildren. She's seen a baby or two. The fact that you choose to listen to the internet or some quack rather than take my advice? Well I'm tired of hearing about it. I work a 40+ hour a week high stress job then turn around a baby sit for him 32 hours a week. The baby has reflux. The doctor is "trying everything before resorting to medication" Well, an infant pooping every third day, screaming in pain for hours, and throwing up well over half of every bottle IS NOT NORMAL. It's not a formula issue, he was doing it while she was breast feeding too (although he did poop). FIND ANOTHER ANSWER.

Oldest twin - Work issues. I TOLD YOU NOT TO QUIT YOUR OTHER JOB TO RETURN TO YOUR OLD ONE!!!! When you look back, you tend only to remember the good things. Your boss says she needs you back, things have changed etc. Famous last words.

Youngest twin - Pregnant wife drama. I specifically told you to wait to have kids. You KNEW your wife was immature. I'm tired of the "Mom what can we do for..." Guess what, growing another human being comes with some aches and pains! Your boobs hurt, your back hurts, and since that woman won't eat, she's sick all of the time. EAT, DRINK SOME WATER, EXERCISE or you're going to regret it! (<- that part was actually spoken out loud to the DIL)

I truly wanted to be a part of my children's lives as adults. But I'm beginning to think that my parents had the right idea, birthdays and holidays because I'M TIRED. Now if you'll excuse me, my grandson is waking with a high pitched scream which means he's going to throw up and his mother won't be here for another hour.

I agree with you. As adults, they are responsible for their lives and choices--and the consequences.

Go out and have some fun! You have done your job!

Thank you. I'm a homebody. My idea of a good time is relaxing in my bedroom for a couple days with a good book. I haven't been able to have a single day home alone since March 22. And I don't see an end in sight

Too bad we aren't friends in real life. I could bring some folks over, and we could babysit. I hope you will get a break one of these days!

I know where you're coming from! You sound similar to me! God bless you! Good luck!

Now that's a life I'd walk away from. You did your time raising children. It's not your responsibility to raise your children's children.

Put your foot down.

Please don't misunderstand. I LOVE spending time with my grandson. I don't mind watching him at all. I just wish that my daughter would at least consider what I'm telling her. My frustration with my grandson is simply that the little guy shouldn't be in pain. That is not a "normal" part of childhood. We may be making progress in that department, he's seeing the doctor tomorrow.

My dream would be to have a house large enough that we all live together and see each other whenever we want, but large enough to give us that space.

My frustration is that every single conversation is so negative lately.

Well as an update, the baby is on a new formula and that seems to be helping but its early days. The Doctor was in the process of explaining why my grandson wasn't a "reflux baby" and that it was just one of those things when, bless him he threw up all over twice. So he's a "silent reflux".

But I could absolutely KILL my daughter today. She forgot some paperwork at home and asked me to run it to her at work. Keep in mind she's a mental health professional that deals with people like me all day long.

One of my MAJOR triggers is going somewhere I'm not familiar with. So I say text me the address. She says mom it's so easy you just... Ok, text me the address. Mom, its less than five minutes from the house. Ok, do I go toward Shopko or Dairy Queen? Dairy Queen. Text me the address.

15 minutes later I get a phone call from my daughter. I answer the phone that I do not want to talk to her right now, I'm almost back to where I started. Now text me the address!!! She sent me in the wrong direction, not only do I go toward Shopko, I PASS IT!!!!!

Not only is this an issue for my anxiety, which caused me to have one of the biggest attacks I've had in a long time, but I've got to hold it together because I have an infant in the vehicle, but my OCD is off the charts because I HAD a route that I was comfortable with if she'd simply said "go past Shopko and..."

She doesn't listen!!! Over the years I've learned to make my needs clearly known. The Nav system has been one of the most freeing device this century (provided it works). There was an episode on the way to his Neurologist appointment a month ago. Right or left? Not toward that airport. Right or left? Not toward the airport. Well I'm not heading to the airport so it's not even on my radar right now, there is a fork in this freeway, we are traveling at 75 miles per hour. RIGHT OR LEFT?

I explained to her later that I boil this down to the simplest terms. The airport reference means nothing to me because in that moment, my brain does not process that this exit is named for the airport. I need a simple answer to a simple question.

My first son was a reflux baby and continued to throw up profusely until he started standing regularly on his own. The pediatric gastro told us that would be when it would finally stop, and he was right. Made for a really long first year of life though. The good news was that even though he threw up constantly, he continued to grow and thrive and really wasn't "sick". I feel for your daughter having to deal with it though. It is stressful to not really know why it's happening and to really not be able to do anything to stop it.

It does make things a challenge. The new formula has made things 1000% better but it's enriched with rice starch and very very thick. When it did come back up I was right there holding him. It had been at least an hour since he'd eaten. It was SO thick. It frightened me. What if I hadn't been there? Would he have aspirated since now you're supposed to lay babies on their back to sleep?

She's feeling guilty because would this have happened if she'd been able to continue to breast feed? (I tell you I wish she'd stay off the internet!) I try to remind her that this happened long before she transitioned to formula because I was trying to figure out a way to tell her that she had to keep a food diary because something she was eating wasn't agreeing with the baby.

My son's started about 4 weeks old while I was breastfeeding. It was a physiological problem that had nothing to do with diet or allergies in any way. They did barium x-rays because they thought we were dealing with pyloric stenosis (which would have actually been better because a simply surgery would have corrected the problem), but the reflux showed in the x-rays and it was just what we had to deal with.

All the throwing up did give him a very touchy gag reflex making getting off of pureed foods to anything with even the slightest texture very difficult, but I'm happy to say by the time he was about 18 months, it had all worked out and he was eating with no problem and no more throwing up.

I'm glad to hear that your child is doing well. It's good to know that there is an end in sight. It's still early here.

Hee, hee. Yup. He's 25 years old now and engaged. I'm getting old.

I'm so, so sorry (but entertained :-) What, no drama from the husband?