So worried about my son

Today we were at the pool for a playdate. There were three boys playing in the pool, one boy being my son. They were playing a bit too rough, so myself and another mum intervened. I asked my son to give me the snorkel, because I noticed that he was poking another boy with it. My son refused and after I insisted that I would take the snorkel any why, he came out with, "Well I'll just drown myself then," without batting an eyelid. He then stuck his head under the water. I was shocked and I am still really shaken. I feel sick to my stomach about it. My son is 6.5 yrs old.

I spoke to a parent helpline. They suggested that he may have picked up on my recent distress about a local news story. In my area, a father killed his two young children and himself. He shot them and then drove the car off a wharf into the sea. I am often quite distressed by incidents like this, because of past DV history where my son and I were at risk. Maybe my son is externalising what he has seen? I know I haven't said anything to him about it, but kids don't miss much.

The other thing that I think may have influenced him is video games. We play video games, and he sometimes will say that he will 'kill himself off' in the game, in order to end the game. Whenever he says I get quite upset and ask him not to, so he knows this sort of talk is a button he can push.

Has anyone else experienced this with their children before? I have him booked in to see a child psychology professional next week. I am so worried and feel like an absolute failure as a mother that he could even conceptualise something like this.

Simone70, the games are programed towards adult venues. Is there anyway of changing the games that he plays? If they are on line is there any way of blocking them? I do not play games anymore for i find most have a void in them. They obsess and focus too much on violence and death. They are a great way to vent but not for a six and half year old. Society seems to be changing before our eyes and i agree. Parenting is such a difficult job but don't be hard on yourself. No one does it perfectly! And we all do survive. Just put your best effort forward with a lot of love, and it will turn out okay. I wish you the best at the psychologist... blessings

When my son was 7 he wanted to kill himself. It was a scary time for us. We got him into counselling right away. He was later diagnosed with depression and anxiety. At age 9 they added autism into the mixture. He has periods of time where he will hit himself hard in the head, his way of coping with all the thoughts going on his head. We do stop him hitting himself when we catch him.

Thank you Omegalamed. I did speak to the child psychology professional on the phone today and she was not all concerned! She said that there is no evidence to suggest he has a psychological issue that is at the root it this. He is an otherwise happy and sociable child. Rather, he knows that talking in this manner upsets me, so he used that as a means to express his anger and to try to get what he wants. He didn't get what he wants, which was to get the snorkel back, so hopefully I have reinforced that it is not acceptable to use that language to get what he wants.

I am so relieved! Behaviour management and boundary setting I can work with over time. I'm just immensely relieved it's not an indication of something more serious.

I definitely will also be working towards a reduction of time spent on video games.

I edited to add that my son and I did talk last night about the incident, and the reason why he said "I'll just drown myself then," was because he was worried he would drown in the pool without the snorkel, which he has been using, which adds another dimension to the incident. No wonder he was angry!

It must have been very scary Technigal . I'm sorry to hear that your son has had these struggles. How is he now?

Some days are great and others not so good. We try and focus on the positive. I am homeschooling him now and that is helping.

My 7 year old daughter plays video games excessively, and I believe they are addictive and unhealthy. I want to limit her time on them, but my husband is stone walling me on that. He also has addictions to video games, so that's no surprise.
I took her to a psychologist for a while. I don't know if you would consider that. It can be difficult to find psychologists who take health insurance. We found one that took ours, and we paid a $25 co pay for each session. The psychologist did play therapy with her. I think it helped her some, but at the time she wasn't doing video gaming.