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Super Moderator
Community Support Team Community Liaison
Chat Leader Member Since May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
Posts: 17,461
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#1
@petros welcome to MSF. I am sorry that your relationship with your exwife is so contentious and apparently they have convinced your daughter of that too.
I am not sure what to say but avoid saying things that may trigger a negative response from your daughter. Whatever you did to elicit the response they have tried to be nice, take a good look at what you said and did. Often I find in my own life that I say and do things that offend others or I misinterpret their intentions. You could tell them you want to find a way to communicate in a nice way and see what they say. If they are angry and bitter and just chastise you, that is a hard act to follow. If she is conciliatoryi then write down the things she says and try to find words to communicate in that way. @CANDC __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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Member Since Oct 2023
Location: Chicago
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#2
Quote:
So since then she's been "pleasant" but getting more and more distant and I could read between the lines she was upset. I attribute it to her mother's influence. I am very close to my son who seems to have escaped any negative influence from his mother but since my daughter was seriously abused by her mother there's that phenomenon of the abused needing the abuser when feeling lost. Since my daughter and I do not regularly communicate sometimes I forget what was said weeks ago. I bought her a birthday present that was being shipped from Germany and she did not tell me she would be away. So I worked hard to get the packaged delayed until she returned, What I asked her was "are you home?" And that's what triggered her anger. Clearly there was pent up anger she was holding in and "trying to be nice" but whatever happened the dam broke at that point. Clearly my asking are you home is nothing rude or inconsiderate. I think you may have misinterpreted my previous post due to lack of detail . Her reaction to "are you home" was to swear at me for not remembering she would be away. She did not think "oh last time I mentioned it was 10 days ago and he's 71 he probably forgot." Clearly the pent up "hidden behind niceness" anger is the real way she feels. This is what I am disturbed about. That her mother is using her for an "anger buddy" so her mother can feel better about hating me when her daughter joins in. Like the "drinking buddy" of an alcoholic I mentioned. So again now I am asking for advice on how to approach this. Any parents who have experience like this love to hear from you. Thanks |
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