Comments on Feelings 18 yr leaving home

I'd like to hear from anyone that has experienced a child leaving home.

My son will be turning 18 at the end of April. I've had a lot of problems with him. I am a recovering drug addict and in therapy for recovery from childhood abuse.

I've been waiting for him to turn 18 because he is an addict in active using. He steals from me, has anger rages, has drugs and alcohol in my home and smokes pot in his room even though I've asked him not to because I don't want to jepordize my recovery. He doesn't have a job and I took him out last weeking to put in applications. He's in a school call Lifeskills working slowly on a diploma. He has 10 credits.

He has been with me growing together all of his life. I am divorced and his Dad is an alcoholic-addict and has not been in his life. I am now having feelings I don't want him to go. I know he needs to go for my safety, but I feel a part of me is dying.

My T wanted me this week to journal my feelings on this. I started last night and wrote 2 sentences and started crying so hard you would have thought my son died. I had to stop journaling. It was too emotional. I was just wondering how others felt as they went through this or if anyone can help me with this.

Thanks.

Race