My own daughter rejects me...

I have a 2-1/2 year old daughter and I love her more than anything in the world. I have tried my hardest to show her love and affection every day, even when I'm extremely depressed, I try to put on the happy face and play with her as if nothing is wrong.

I tell her I love her every day. I kiss her boo-boos. I tell her she's pretty when I fix her hair or paint her little fingernails.

But even my own daughter doesn't love me.

She loves her Daddy. It's all about Daddy. When he comes home from work, she runs to the door screaming "Daddy Daddy Daddy!!" and gives him a big hug. It's enough to melt your heart, it is so sweet. But when I come home? Nothing. I try to give her a hug and she runs the other direction.

Lately she won't even let me put her to bed anymore. I miss those days when she would let me rock her to sleep, sing her lullabies, read her stories. She won't even sit in my lap anymore. If my husband is home at night, I can not put her to bed - she will cry for her Daddy forever until he comes to put her down. And then she's out in 5 seconds. But 30 minutes of me rocking her to sleep did nothing - all she wants is him.

Even from birth, she has rejected me. She rejected the breast. I tried everything imaginable to feed her but nothing ever worked. Four months of trying herbs and potions and pumps and shields and every technique possible, but all she wanted was a bottle...from Daddy.

I just feel like a complete failure as a mother. I know every girl is a Daddy's girl, but can't she just give me one little hug?

(((((razzleberry)))))
don't give up. Every day, keep giving her those hugs and kisses, and always tell her how much you love her. I never bonded with my youngest because my PND was so severe, and she picked up that I wasn't 'well' and responded in the only way a baby can- by looking to the next person who can give them that unconditional love also (dad if he's there). But as you become well the bond will form and improve, especially if you keep reinforcing your love for her every day and never give up. Good luck

Hi Razzleberry

this advice might be way off beam coz i don't know your personal circumstances...so advance apologies if i just end up putting my foot in my mouth...and double advance apologies if i offend or upset you...i never do that on purpose.

a lot of my friends who are full time stop-at-home moms with husbands who work full time have found the same thing. but they've also found it changes drastically when their child starts full-time kindergarten or school. and here's their theory as to why...

you're always there for your daughter, daddy disappears for hours at a time. now a few hours to a toddler can feel like a few days would to an adult. so when daddy comes home after a few hours, she makes a big fuss over him the way you would if he'd been gone for a few days. but you are always there and she's secure in that so no need to make a fuss.

when she starts school...according to friends who've been thru the same thing...you'll find she makes an equally big fuss over you coz a few hours still feels like a long time and you've been gone for that time too.

does that make sense? probably not...apologies for waffling on...apologies if this is no help...hope things improve for you soon and you don't give up giving her all your love anyway.

((((Razzleberry))))

It sounds like you are having a tough time with everything and I hope that you are working with someone who can help. Are you in therapy ?? If not, can you inquire about talking with someone about this.

Your daughter is not rejecting you. Being excited about daddy does not mean she does not love you. Just keep showing her how much you love and cherish her - she depends on you for consistent care. Dads often times get to be the "fun" parent but that does not mean that Mom's efforts are meaningless.

Take care,

I am a dad and have been on both sides of the coin .My first 3 kids I worked and my wife stayed home .when i would come home from work it was daddy daddy all over me .But When I had my last 2 I've stayed home and yep its mommy mommy and like you I find my self wonting my two and half year old attention and not getting it .At night he will only take his bottle from my wife and when I go to lay in bed next to him and my wife he takes his foot and tries to push me a way. I know what you are going though is just a phase dont worry soon she will become a teenager and hate you both (lol lol) .Im sure your daughter loves you alot!

This is the age they do alot of weird stuff I found myself grabbing my head and pulling my hair saying what the hell wrong with this kid .They toss all their toys in their room down the steps just to walk away from them as soon as they get down there. Ask to take a bath just to po in the tube and will take one bit out of everything ~food ,newspapers ,Toys , big sister.

Actually I'm not a SAHM, which only adds to the guilt...I work full-time, and right now, more-than-full-time (tax season).

Daddy is just part-time at a grocery store.

The first 2 years of her life, we worked opposite shifts - I worked days, he worked nights, he was Mr. Mom during the day.

Now she's in preschool when he is at work, maybe 3 days a week.

I get why she's more attached to him since he was home with her more as a baby. And I had postpartum crap.

It just still hurts to feel so rejected from my own child.

I am 66 yr old and my daughter (the youngest of 4 - other are boys) is 39yr old. We have always been close. Her first marriage was a disaster. She married a local guy who had problems with alchole and drugs. They had a hard time with money. Later we found out why - he was using income on drugs. My husband and I have been married for 44 years, but I was the one who always picked up the pieces. My daughter had two girls, 3 and 4 when my daughter's husband decided he rather the drugs than his family. He moved out. They were living in our house that wasn't occupied at the time. They didn't pay rent and may times I had to pay their bills. My daughter and grandchildren were very close. When my daughter had to go to work, I took care of the girls. I was there whenever they needed me. She divorced her first husband, but he didn't give her any money. I supported them. They, daughter and granddaughters continued to live in our house. The husband died as a result of a drug overdose. I was still there.
My daughter met someone (a guy from Turkey) and they married. It was about that time that she started to pull away. As years went on she and her daughters grew away from us. We live in a small city and not far from each other. I am not sure if her new husband had anything to do with her pulling away, but this is where it gets strange.
On mother's day she didn't even give me a card. On father's day she made her daddy a mosaic palm tree out of broken tiles. Christmas I got nothing and she gave her daddy an expensive "bar light". She will not return my calls. I have been told not to come over unless I cal first. She allows my sister and niece to come over whenever they want to. The only time I hear from my daughter is when she needs something. Then she act like we have been great friends and that there is nothing wrong between us. She doesn't even let the girls (that I helped raise since she had no money or husband) spend any time with me. She calls her daddy on his cell phone, but not me. Trust me, I am not making this up. My son died April 26, 2006. Before he went into surgery, he asked if I would do two things.
1st, keep the family together because I was the only one who could do it and 2nd try to get closer to Beth (my daughter) since he knew that there was a problem. I still don't know the problem and I wish he would have told me.
I have been under a lot of stress (not including what I mentioned). As a result I had a complete breakdown in 2/6/07. I was unaware of what was going on around me in the hospital for two days. When I was released my daughter didn't even call or come see me for about two weeks. At the same time I was seeing therapist, psychiatrist, and was on medication. I also was taking care of my 94 yr old mother My daughter didn't even come to see her. I could go on and on. I have no clue what I did or didn't do to deserve this treatment from my only daughter. Any ideas?