[youOme]

I have a question regarding my two year old nephew who now lives with me. For the last week I have been at my wits end with his behavior. We've never faced these type of behaviors before from our kids and others too. Frustration is taking over here in my house hold and it's all coming from the smallest person here.

The issue is he's mean....purely mean as crap. He hits, bites, and mostly throws things when he doesn't get what he wants. Today he through a toy in my daughters face and hit her nose, she bled everywhere. He's especially mean to her because my four year old avoids him and he knows better to not do that to the adults. Sissy takes most of his wrath. All she wants is to play with him because he's more equal in interest that she is in, and she's constantly hit and hurt by him.

My job as the mother is to protect my children....this situation is hard because my child is being harmed....but by another child, the one I have now taken as my own.

What do I do?? Is it normal that I feel anger towards a two year old??

I understand that he has been dealt a %#@&#! hand in life so far, for so few years. I sympathize more for him then any other and I do love him as much as my own. BUT, I'm totally frustrated with him.

It's beyond the aggressiveness too, he never listens and he throws fits over EVERYTHING...literally. He hurt my ferret too. I won't even let her out of the cage while he is awake, I fear he'll accidentally kill her.

Does anybody know anything I could do? Has anybody ever experienced this??

[gimmeice]

((((((((((((((youome)))))))))))))
It sounds like you are having a really hard time, I can understand.
As for advice, have you tried timeouts at his age they would be very short but maybe it could deter his bad behavior. I also like positive reinforcement, when he behaves he gets some positive attention.
Two year olds are so hard to deal with I wish you the best of luck in your journey for a good behaved little boy.

[katheryn]

i agree time outs and when hes good reassuring prasies and telling he is loved especially

he might be playing up to see if you abandon him

dont forget he must be trying to figure out where the other mum went

[Perna]

I think it's quite common at his age and because of his situation. Not easy for you. Here's a site just on that subject?

http://www.drspock.com/topic/0,1504,123,00.html

[TYMBERWOLV]

I agree wih the advice precceding this reply ......

I had " time out time " when my daughter was misbehaven

taking away fav toys just gets them madder but if they used it as a weapon it had to go

i built a chair for my daughter to sit in and she hated it ....

after a few times in there she stopped her misbehaven for the most part

if she threw a tantrum i left her there to flop on the floor

i took her to the store and told her no touch and reinforced if she didnt touch she had a better chance of getting a treat

14 years later she never ask for anything at the store unless it is a need

i have one of the best mannerd child because i was active in her upbringing and i explained things to her about the consequences ..... kids understand they know how to push the limits


david

[youOme]

Yes they do. I swear this kid knows when I am not looking, he's quite sneaky for a two year old.

He's been doing a little better. Time outs were great at first but they lost their affect. Then I started the whoopins, hand on bare butt. Now he is listening! The whoopins over the diapers were useless, he quite a tough child...so bare butt was my solution. I haven't whooped him in a few days, so it's getting better.

[Peanuts]

I am so sorry it has been rough managing the new addition to your family. Even though it might seem like it .. two year olds do not want to displease the adults in his world on purpose. Something is causing his difficult behavior.

I am not an advocate for spanking, especially on the bare bottom. I feel that there are better methods for creating lasting change for a young child rather than physical punishment - especially for a two year old.

A book that helped us out a great deal when my son was younger and out of control was "the explosive child". That book was a big influence for us and really helped to explain how a learning disabled child can also have serious behavior issues. The biggest lesson learned for me is that no young child (not counting teens here) WANTS to be bad. Children want to please, especially their parents/teachers.

A major premise of the book is that children do not choose to be explosive and noncompliant any more than a child would choose to have a reading disability - bu are delayed in the process of developing the skills that are critical to being flexible and tolerating frustration. Or have significant difficulty applying these skills when they most need to.

Please consider exploring other parenting options.