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Grand Member
Member Since Oct 2007
Location: Some place beyond myself, West Virginia
Posts: 999
16 
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May 02, 2008 at 09:58 AM
#1
I'm not sure what to say or what to do when the time arises. We have a few pets with short life spans and my husband brought up the explanation of death. He says since the pets are me and the babies thing that I have to have be prepared.
It's really hard since my beliefs about after death is different then heaven or hell. Telling a kid that we'll all go to heaven is so much easier then what I'll describe. Since their father has a Christian based belief, maybe he should be the one to explain. How did you guys tell your children about death? |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,840
16
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May 05, 2008 at 12:01 AM
#2
As far as my husbands words to the children, "grandpa and grandma are in heaven". Thats all. Personally I think it doesn't have to be a detailed explanation until they are older when they understand more.
__________________ Do not stand at my grave and weep; I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn's rain. When you awaken in the morning's hush, I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry; I am not there, I did not die. R.I.P. Bandit 7-12-08 I love you I miss you. |
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Elder
Member Since Sep 2006
Posts: 5,677
17 4 hugs
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May 07, 2008 at 08:19 AM
#3
I had this book on hand when the kids were younger. It was a great help!
http://www.amazon.com/Ill-Always-Lov...pd_sim_b_img_1 __________________ Parce que maman l'a dit 
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who reads this, anyway?
Member Since Oct 2006
Location: Appalachia
Posts: 9,968
17
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May 09, 2008 at 09:39 PM
#4
It totally depends on the age of the child, I think. When animals on our farm died when my child was a preteen we just said they had died and left it at that. When my son was eleven and his father died I had him write a letter to his dad telling him what he would like to say to him.
Now my son is nineteen and we talk frankly about death. He knows I want to be an organ donor if I can and have my body donated to a medical school. I told him if he didn't want to come view my body that was fine just remember me as I lived. It is inevitable and I hope it is a long way off but I want to prepare him for the natural course of life ending in death. __________________ The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. anonymous |
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Posts: n/a
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May 10, 2008 at 11:04 PM
#5
<font color="purple">Well, my mother first talked to me about re-incarnation when I was about 7. </font>
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Member
Member Since Dec 2003
Location: Ohio
Posts: 297
20 |
May 15, 2008 at 02:08 PM
#6
I think it depends on the child's age and the families traditions and beliefs. My youngest son and his neighborhood pals found a badly injured bird outside - probably had flown into a window or something. Anyway, as my son was holding it in his hands the poor thing died. My son was 7 years old. In this instance, my son could feel the difference in the bird when alive and struggling and then dead and growing cold.
So .. I explained that the bird's life/spirit was now gone from the body. We found a box - had just gotten an order of checks and so that box was just right - and my son decorated it. We put flowers in the box and tissue, then the bird then closed it up. The kids said some prayers and then a spot was selected in the back yard for burial. Then a search was on for just the right rock to mark the spot. Then that was it. Sometimes you are handed a teaching moment and you just have to go with that. I wonder sometimes if having the ritual of picking out a box and all didn't help the whole process. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2008
Location: SC
Posts: 4,083
16
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May 15, 2008 at 02:22 PM
#7
 What a wonderfull "teaching moment" for you and your son to begin to understand this grand mystery... He is so lucky to have such a parent... Lenny __________________ I have only one conclusion,,and that is things change too quickly for me to draw them.... Sobriety date...Halloween 1989. I was plucked from hell...and treat this gift as if it is the only one... |
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