Do you think it is ok for me to move??

Hi guys,

I am a single mother of an 8 month old (Michael), whos father is a bit of a flake. He says that he wants to be involved but has only seen him twice in the last 6 months. My brother whom I live with is moving in with his girlfriend at the end of the year and I have been thinking of moving back interstae to be with the rest of my family for some support. It will also be easyer financially as I will be living with my sister.

I have explained this to Joel (Michael's father) and he said I will do what I have to, and almost cried . I feel really bad moving Michael away from him, but I dont have many friends here and am tired of being lonely.

Is this selfish or is it the right thing to do, I meen I will be in a better place back home and have more money wich I think will intern make a better situation for my son.

Just looking for some advice
Thanks in advance.

Eleanor.

Hi elle_jane and welcome...

Since the person who offered his genes is not taking the responsibility for his contribution and seems to live up to your description, the future and well being of your son turns to you.

Do what you must to give him the best possible chance. Period.

Take him to court for support..flake or not,,that orgasm of his has a few strings attached...and one is provding for his son financially at the very least...

I am not a big fan of those who look at babys like out of style jewelry.

With care,

Lenny

I agree that a move sounds good for you. I also agree that you need to obtain child support from the dad. In the USA, if you don't make the parent pay, then you make all the tax payers pay for the services the child deserves. Don't feel sorry for him, time for him to grow up.

I think a move is good for you and the child at this point in time. the baby doesn't know him anyway so no biggie. it seems the man is not interested in the child. do what is best for you and the baby.

btw not all single mom's get state assistance for loser donors.

This is defiantly a tough decision to make, and I think you must do what is best for and the baby at the moment... dad can always move to where you are if he really wants to be a part of his babies life.

You have to work out what is best for you and Micheal first and foremost as you are the main person in his little life and if you go down then who will look after him ?

If dad is not doing his job properly (and tears dont wash with me as we can all cry its doing the dirty work every day that counts ) then take your son to where he can be cared and loved in a large family enviorment every day rather than twice every six months.

I have been in a simlar situation with five children and moved three years ago ! The children are happy and well adjusted which is the most important thing in the world.

If dad cant see that this is the most important role for him to play in his entire life then thats his loss (twice every six months is a disgrace) it does not have to be yours and yours sons also, you can make a life for you both with family else where.

you have had some good advice on this subject , yes move if you are going to get some support from family as you need to be healthy to provide for your son, i only see good reasons to move from your post dont let him emotionaly tell you its not fare as its his fault he isnt giving 100% to your son

do what you need to be healthy and get him to pay up his share

Eleanor,
This is one of those questions that only you can answer, I advise some soul searching on the matter, this is a big decision. Some things you should ask yourself are has Joel had open access to Michael? What does he say are his reasons for not being involved? Is he more willing to become involved now that you have mentioned moving? In the end only you can decide the right answer, I agree with the other posters that there is no excuse not to be involved with your childs life but sometimes there are is a rare case where there are circumstances that must be taken into consideration when making such a big decision.
If he is not going to be supportive and involved in his childs life then I agree that a move may be in order.

I agree, you have to do what is best for you and your child. Right now you need to be around people that love and care about you...you and your child need that support. It appears that he has currently decided not to step up to the plate...move on, get child support, and do the best that YOU can do for your child and yourself!

Best Wishes!

TJ

Thanks everyone, sorry for not responding sooner (like years ago lol). I did move and it was the right thing to do. Joel had every chance to see Mikey and still does I have told him several times my door is always open for him.

Wish I had of seen these reply's then but am still happy to see them now. More affirmations that I made the right choice

Fantastic that you came back to let us know. I am glad you did the right thing for you and your son.

Your decision is totally right and in Your son's favor. While living in a huge Family, children grow in a better and safe environment and get to learn more values all-together.