Holy Sheep! I'm getting frustrated...

It is almost one am and Jeremy absolutely REFUSES to go to sleep.

I am so frustrated! I put him in his excersaucer because hes been ornery for a few hours now and Ive just about had it.


Tips on sleeping or getting babies to sleep and stay asleep welcome, although note I don't beleive in crying it out.

Thoughts and reassurements that he wont do this forever also welcome.

(((Rain))))) how old is he now? sorry to have to ask
Does he have a ear infection maybe. both of my kids had alot of those , it always affected thier sleep. Does he have colic? My son had that till age one.
I always found a warm bath and quietness helped him alot. Also rocking him after the bath always helped.
The letting them cry it out i could never do.
The other thing that helped with my son as he had sleep issues because of the colic was a bubble machine I called it. It was a jar with a air pump thing in it that made a soothing sound. Believe or not it worked
To this day I have fish tanks that are near his room. Because he is use to the noise.
My daughter I had a tape of soft music she use to listen too
hope this helps .
Muffy

muffy do you have psychic powers or somehting

Getting fish is on my to do list - the tanks literally sitting in the room set up waiting for fishies.

Are you spying on me ?

He is 11 months now, and no colic anymore(though he had reflux) and checked for ear infections.

I'm actually wondering if i am putting him down too early, I shoot for seven o clock but hes waking around nineish and then around 12 and then last night he was up for hours - so maybe i should put him down later?

Thanks for those ideas, I will try them out and post how it goes.

[quote=Rainbowzz;923271]muffy do you have psychic powers or somehting

Getting fish is on my to do list - the tanks literally sitting in the room set up waiting for fishies.

(((Rain))) LOL aww no. just had two children of my own whom did not sleep so well either one of them. My son being the longest with that issue. But the colic set him in that pace.
Which if your son did he may already be set in that sleeping pattern.
I would say yes 7 is too early. I know you need rest by then but if you can hold it back a hour or 2 I think you may see a difference.
You can run the fish tank with out the fish to see if the sound helps.Its amazing what that sound does for them.
He also maybe cutting teeth? Which causes pain in their little ears and mouth.
Try for alittle later bed time , a warm bath before, and quiet time always helps. I use to rock my son and big secret sing to him...shhh tell no one. awww
Good luck to the both of you let me know. Cherish these days as they do grow up so very fast.
muffy

I agree that you may be putting him down too early. I was very lucky with my kids they slept well and only cried when something was wrong. What kind of a cry is it? Tired? Pain? Hunger? Will he let you hold him? How are his bowel movements? Could his acid reflux be acting up again? Suffering from that myself I'm here to tell you there are times I would like to scream too.

I had my neice and nephew for a while, they eat had a stage where they'd cry for a period of time (about a month as I recall) for no apparent reason. My mother in law called it growing pains. We just made sure that we took them outside to get fresh air, then had a nice bath and story time. Whether this was effective or they just out grew it I don't know. When they were crying the only thing we could do was rock them and talk to them in a soothing voice.

As a side note, when my twins were a bit older than Jeremy is now (about 18 months) my parents got one of my other kids a trampoline for their birthday. The twins loved it SO much they didn't want to come off of it. They were like energizer bunnies. I thought "oh, ok, I'll just let them wear themselves out and they'll go to sleep when they're tired." That point never happened. That summer they jumped on that stupid thing every day rain or shine for 12 - 14 hours a day. Continued doing this until about 3 years ago (they're now about to be 16).

The point I'm trying to make is that as long as there is a stimulus, he's not going to let himself relax. Is the TV off? Room Dark? Make the environment such that the only thing to do is sleep.

Don't know how you feel about plugs/pacifiers/dummies but they worked a treat for my son and he only had it for about 3 months and then wasn't interested. Also baby massage is good, preferably not at 1 in the morning but maybe before bed? My boy had bad colic so nasty busisness.

It does pass and your child will eventually sleep better. Parenthood is like a jigsaw.......trying to put all the bits together.......Good luck!

i know what its like to suffer sleepless nights when baby doesnt want to sleep and you do, try not to get frustrated i know thats easier said than done, remember baby will pick up on you getting frustrated regular thing to do is take turns but when you are a single parent its not that simple, i know you dont like him being left to cry its hard to do, but just walking away while he is safe is a simple answer, make sure he has everything he needs, like his nappy changed feed, check obvious like temp belly ache

its hard for babies to get across why they are crying and this frustrates us as parents more, is there somebody you could call on to give you a hand just to take him to calm him

i was asked about this by a single parent a copuple of weeks ago she thought baby was reacting to change of smell coming of mum as she had just jhad a bath and baby kept screeming, i drove there and took baby and calmed her down i think she had tummy ache as soon as she was comfortable and mum wasnt showing signs of panic passed her bk and all was fine though this wasnt at 1 in morning

good luck you are doing a great job

((((((((((((((((rain and Jeremy))))))))))))))))

You haven't updated us in a while, how are things going?

Hi everyone, sorry it took me so long to reply. Things are going a little bit better!

I moved Jeremy's bedtime up to eight, eight thirty. Somewheres between those times. And, I am thankful to say that its helping! He seems to go down now, wakes up around midnight for a quick bottle but then goes right back to sleep and sleeps right until eight thirty in the morning. So i think the culprit was he was going to bed too early.

I have read and retained all of your tips though, and will be putting them to work as well! I am slowly going to move his bedtime up until he seems to be sleeping through most of the night. I dont mind him getting up for a bottle as long as he is back to sleep right afterward.

Now to answer each of you:
AAAAA:
What kind of a cry is it?
Its a very tired cry when he does get up, and sometimes he even manages to get off the bed(which is just two matresses on the floor) and crawls to the doorway. I think he might be waking alone and getting frightened of the dark or being alone. Sometimes it is a hungry cry as well. During those times I try him on the bottle and sometimes he drinks it all, others he just has a little snack.

Will he let you hold him?
Yes, in fact thats often what he wants. He seems to want me to hold him and stay snuggled in bed with him, but I am a night owl and I cannot go to bed that early!

How are his bowel movements?
Like clockwork, the same time every day, and just the last month or so no constipation anymore.

Could his acid reflux be acting up again? Suffering from that myself I'm here to tell you there are times I would like to scream too.
It could be, but I dont think thats it because he doesnt spit up anymore at all.

Is the TV off? Room Dark? Make the environment such that the only thing to do is sleep.

Yep, he is in my room with all the lights off and no tv, and i keep the sound down in the living room so that it doesnt wake him.

Michah,

I do infact give him a dummy, and he loves it! its his special friend, we call it. Sometimes that is what wakes him, hes lost his soother and cant find it again and if i can get to him quick enough i can pop it back in and he will go back to sleep. I'll try the baby massage as well.

Kathryn,

Yeah, it isint very often that I get frustrated with him to the point of having to leave his side, but When I do he either stays in the darkened room for a minute or two or he goes in his excersaucer and I go out on the step and have a smoke That usually calms me down. haha.

there isint really anyone nearby, so I am pretty much on my own, my mother is even less able to tolerate him if hes cranky so I wont be calling her. But my aunt does take him for the night here and there so I can get a night of sleep.

Thanks for your replies!

Glad to hear that things have been improving.

good to hear that you are very positive in the way you handle each problem you encounter with Jeremy, hope there are notto many

(((((((((((rain and Jeremy)))))))))))))))

Well everyone, I am a much less frustrated rainbow today. What exactly would a frustrated rainbow look like anyways.

What I did last night and tonight was put little boy down, then wake him up for a bottle at 12, and its working! Thats the only time hes been up until around eight thirty am.

THANK YOU ALL.

Im sure I will find something else to be frustrated about soon, since hes now standing on his own. Oh goodness!

Hi Shug. I'm probably late on reading this but wanted to add my two cents worth. I think you were putting him down too early too. I went through the same thing with my eldest and once I adjusted his bedtime - viola! One of the things we added to our nightly regime was "Crazy time" about two hours before bedtime. My husband would roughhouse with Michael, chase him, whatever for about half an hour until they were both giggling like fools and falling onto the carpet. After that was bath time, and then I gave Michael his "nite nite bottle." He had pyloric stenosis (causes severe reflux) and that little 4 oz bottle was the secret to him settling into sleep and sleeping till 6 am the next morning.

You'll get the hang of this thing girl. Don't second guess yourself, but also don't ever hesitate to ask for advice. There's a lot of wisdom on these boards. Take it all in, and pick out the pieces that work for you and the little J-man.

Okay, I have a new problem.....

Jeremy is now waking at two and refusing to go back to sleep. Its almost three, im exhausted, and he will NOT go to sleep. Im afraid to say I spanked him... I just was on the verge of tears. I am NOT a spanker, but he was being agressive and angry and swatted me in the face and grabbed my face out of what i think was anger, and i responded with a spank. I feel incredibly guilty. Now, I didn't spank him hard, but i spanked him nonetheless and he cried.

I am just at the end of my rope.. Im used to going to bed around one or two and getting up with him around eight thirty nine, but now hes been getting up and not going to bed until around four. Which leaves me with like, four hours of sleep. THIS IS NOT WORKING.

I think, as much as I hate to do this, that tomorrow will be in the crib. I think that I need to try a modified cry it out.. obviously im not going to let him cry for hours but this is not working, for either of us. I am exhausted all the time and hes not getting the sleep he needs.

I am at the end of my rope.

I'm so sorry that this is so frustrating for you. Are you still putting him to bed at 8:30? Does he wake before 2 am? If he's sleeping straight through, you may have arrived at what he needs to sleep through the night. How many naps does he take throughout the day? How long do they last? You may be at the point where you need to keep him up later to fit your schedule or you need to go to bed earlier to fit his.

Got to agree with AAAAA I would alter my sleep patterns and go to bed earlier if this is not possible then keep him up till around 11 then put him back, is he getting enough food as milk will not do it. Is he tired during the course of the day or is he teething ? There are so many different things that need to be taken into account, could you keep a diary for 24 hours and let us know ? ie what he eats when he sleeps etc. Keep the diary on this thread ?

We have all felt that frustration at some point or other, I have found the best thing to do when in that situation is to put him in his crib close the door and walk away for a bit till you calm down.

I am NOT condeming you for smacking him I can't do that as you was at the end of your thether and you have not gone over the top he is fine, its in the past done and dusted move on from it.

I'm actually putting him down at nine. The weird thing is he USED to sleep from 7pm right until 10am.. those times were lovely. he IS teething. We have been cosleeping since birth, but I am thinking that for the health of my sanity and for his sleeping needs, tomorrow will be time to try the crib and work from there. I am just overwhelmed.. with the CFS and fibro and back problems I need my sleep and I am not getting it.

The aggravating thing is I have chronic fatigue, so i need alot of sleep, but right now im having a bout of insomnia too.. i simply CANT get to sleep until one or 2.

I think, ladies, after typing this out and finally getting him to sleep(I put him in the room on the bed and walked out and left him in the bed and he cried, but fell asleep finally) I think that I am burned out. My last night without the baby was June of last year. I think I need a break. I think I need a day or two sans baby to just sleep, paint, relax, watch tv, smoke alot of cigarettes(yes i know thats a bad coping skill but for my sanity) and just relax.

Tomorrow morning I am going to call my aunt who i trust with him and explain that I am at the end of my rope. Im going to ask her to take him for a night, maybe two. Just so I can have some me time. I feel guilty for needing me time but I mean really, a single parent whose had one day off in a year deserves a break no?

I am just so tired. In the morning to I am going to call mom to come take care of him so I can sleep. That should help a bit anyways.

Thank you ladies for your advice.

Wanted to add his naps:
Wakes at 8 830, naps at 11 for two hours then is up until bedtime.. the odd time he will take a nap if hes exhausted around four. I try not to let him though. So we are down to one nap a day. And yes he IS teething too I think, at least he has two in now so im sure more are coming in.

Yeeesh. Although I have to say coming here and just spilling everything has kept me from having a complete meltdown.

Tishie said:
could you keep a diary for 24 hours and let us know


Excellent idea tishie. I will do this starting first thing in the morning and then report back with the details. Thanks for the idea.

Rain, I understand honey how hard it is I was in a situation where my dad had just died and mum was no good for man or beast she was just so numb from his death, so I had it all for myself, I was married but he was useless as well.

No one here is judgeing you so vent away, I think the letting him go to aunts or your mum will do you both the world of good, heck its just a sleep over lol. Just dont spend the time feeling guilty about it relax into it and rest !

We have all been to the end of the road with kids at one time or another and if anyone says they havent then I would call them a liar, I have had six and they was all different but even my daughter (the only girl) who was a real good baby, I had had enough and wanted 'time out' which I didnt get I have no idea how I coped somtimes but the good thing is you do and the bad times pass and they do start to blend in with you rather than the other way around.

Before you know it he will be at school and you wont know what to do with your time ! It goes so so fast.

Just a thought can you sleep or rest with him at 11 when he lays down ?