[mixedup_emotions]

I have been dealing with a LOT lately, and out of the blue, my neighbor calls me over and confronts me with how I am basically a bad mother! I am a loving, nurturing mom who shows love and affection to my little girl....and although I love my friend, I would not want to live in her house with all the yelling and intimidation. My daughter is even scared of her.

Anyway, my daughter now has a stomach bug - fever, stomach pain, vomiting, lethargy. It's what I had not long ago and still can't shake. No big deal. Get plenty of rest, drink Gatorade.

My neighbor decides to choose THIS time - while I am trying to care for my sick daughter, am going through extreme marital turmoil, and just had a massive layoff at work last week and I now report to a man who has basically hated me for the last 9 years....to tell me that the reason my daughter is sick is because of her picky eating habits.

My daughter will not touch a fruit or vegetable...it's a major ordeal each and every time. I agree that I gave up on trying too soon and do need to get back on track with having her try new and different things....BUT, my neighbor went ON and ON and ON about how I need to be MEAN about it, force my child to eat what I say she is to eat....that she is a candidate for this disease and that disease....that I am trying to be her friend and not a mother....that she's known a lot of moms that coddle their only children but none like me. And she said it all with such a demanding tone.

I felt like I had to justify every little thing - like the fact that although she is indeed a picky eater, I try to make sure that we surround her with the healthier choices of the foods she does eat....like peanut butter on whole grain bread, gogurts, cheerios and other healthy cereals, etc....and that we do not keep a lot of the junkier stuff in the house because of the fact that she does not eat healthy.

I know I'm rambling, but I am just so upset by all this. I tried to stay calm and said, "I appreciate your insight, you've made your point"......when I walked away from there, I was mortified!

Anyway, my point......how do you start "all over again" with trying to get a nearly 8 year old to start to try new, healthier foods?

[Rachie]

I seen on a tv show once that a mother was having the same problem as you ane her kids were older. So what she done was she started to pure' vegetables and fruits and mix them in with things like cakes and mixed them in with meals the kids already liked. So for example if your daughter likes spaghetti or mac and cheese try puting some pureed vegetables in with it. My son is the same but hes only 2 he used to love fruit and veg but one of my stupid friends introduced him to lollies and chocolate and now thats all he wants but i dont give it to him. I have been doing the same as you tho giving the most healthiest option of the foods he does like...hope this is of some sort of help, sorry if it wasnt. Good luck! And remember you are NOT a bad mother by the sounds of it you are doing a great job =)

[Rhapsody]

Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions

how do you start "all over again" with trying to get a nearly 8 year old to start to try new, healthier foods?

IMO - as a mother with two grown men, I would suggest that you not worry to much about what your daughter isn't eating with each meal, but rather that she is eating a balanced meal at the end of each day (and) if your daughter will only eat one or two fruits & vegetables then feed them to her and don't give the matter another thought.

This is what I had to do with my third child who was a picky eater and who still to this days will only eat pickles & raw carrots as his vegetables and he has an Genius IQ. I always tell new parents to not worry so much as long as their child is healthy and growing (body & mind).

Its All Good -

[mixedup_emotions]

Thanks......

The closest thing to a fruit/vegetable that she eats is dipping plain pasta in tomato sauce....or chicken strips in ketchup....or the tomato sauce on pizza. No veggies. No fruit.

She never liked chicken strips - only hot dogs....but she did change. She started liking chicken nuggets from Wendy's. I knew that the fast food chicken nuggets were bad, so I started to transition her to store bought chicken nuggets....then the breast meat chicken strips....then now it's the whole grain baked chicken strips. I thought that was progress....

She does enjoy my banana muffins and zucchini bread - but of course, my neighbor told me that those things don't count. I use less sugar than the recipes call for and use a combination of whole wheat and all purpose flour.

My daughter is in the 90th percentile for her height and weight. She is not overweight. She enjoys riding her scooter and running around playing games outside. She is not a couch potato. She also takes a multivitamin every day.

Ria

[Rhapsody]

Sounds like you are doing a good job... Please dont let this overbearing neighbor bring you down.

[AAAAA]

Oh my oldest went through that. He'd make himself physically ill if someone tried to make him eat something he didn't like. I had to put a letter in his file at day care so that they wouldn't force him to eat something he didn't like. Our doctor said that although they'd like to see the kids eat x amount everything a day, realistically they look at it weekly. The boy turned 22 yesterday and healthy as a horse.

You can hide a lot of veggies in places they'd never think they'd be. If she'll eat meat loaf for example (or even hamburgers for that matter) put some carrots, green beans, etc through the food processor and mix them in with the meat.

Ranch dip will also help a lot of kids eat raw veggies. My three youngest kids are like me in that they'll eat almost any veggie raw, but like very few cooked.

Will she drink fruit juice? There are your servings of fruit. There are also those children versions of ensure drinks to make sure they get their vitamins and minerals. They even have vitamins in the form of bubble gum and gummie bears now.

[Rhapsody]

Originally Posted by AAAAA

Ranch dip will also help a lot of kids eat raw veggies.

Still a Big Favorite in My House......

[mixedup_emotions]

Originally Posted by AAAAA

Oh my oldest went through that. He'd make himself physically ill if someone tried to make him eat something he didn't like. I had to put a letter in his file at day care so that they wouldn't force him to eat something he didn't like. Our doctor said that although they'd like to see the kids eat x amount everything a day, realistically they look at it weekly. The boy turned 22 yesterday and healthy as a horse.

You can hide a lot of veggies in places they'd never think they'd be. If she'll eat meat loaf for example (or even hamburgers for that matter) put some carrots, green beans, etc through the food processor and mix them in with the meat.

Ranch dip will also help a lot of kids eat raw veggies. My three youngest kids are like me in that they'll eat almost any veggie raw, but like very few cooked.

Will she drink fruit juice? There are your servings of fruit. There are also those children versions of ensure drinks to make sure they get their vitamins and minerals. They even have vitamins in the form of bubble gum and gummie bears now.

That's how my daughter is....she gags and vomits at the THOUGHT of eating something she doesn't want to or taking medications. It's really a tough thing cuz she gets all worked up, extremely upset and that just makes her gag reflex go into overload. Of course, my neighbor tells me that its "her game"....Whatever.

Yes, she drinks fruit juice, but I only give her small amounts due to the high sugar content. She also takes a multivitamin so I figured that's better than nothing!

I wish there were things I could hide veggies in.....I have the banana muffins and zucchini bread thing going....but her main staples are plain pasta dipped in tomato sauce, chicken strips with ketchup, plain cheese pizza....She does like yogurt as long as it is smooth - no chunks of fruit. I tried making a smoothie for her to increase the nutrition content of a yogurt based drink...but she hated it. Actually, so did I...LOL....I'll have to look into this more....

Thanks, everyone, for your feedback. You are helping to provide perspective from someone OTHER than my neighbor!

Oh, you could hide such wonderful stuff in the tomato sauce, pureed carrots, sweet potatoes. Don't tell her though, do it while she is at school. Try 1 cup of the stuff with a jar of sauce. You honestly can't taste the stuff. I would probably let her drink more juice, it is better than nothing.
Getting them to help cook also sometimes helps. For my kids, if all we have is healthy food, it is what they eat. I would never force a kid to eat anything, but they tend to eat what is around them. Stop buying the junk, and you might see some change or wiliness to try other things.

When I had my daycare, I had lots of parents tell me their kids will only eat this or that. Well I was required to feed them a balanced diet, due to licensing rules, similar to the food programs school's use. They had no other choice but to eat a variety of foods, and you know what, the "picky" kids who actually had picky eater parents, ate all the stuff and liked it. They had no choice really, I never made a kid eat anything, but I would suggest that they try a bite at least. The kids would still say they don't like something (even if they at it at my home and like it) if a parent will give them something else. Their refusal is part of the control children can have over parents. You are trying, and that is better than a lot of other parents. It helps to have some good influences around them, kids who do eat the good stuff. and parent's who eat their veggies and fruit. Don't give in on the junk food, as long as that is in the house, they won't choose the healthy stuff. What does she eat in school?

As for the neighbor, tell her to mind her own business. You don't have to answer to her.

[lynn P.]

Hi Fellow Mom,
sounds like your friend over stepped her boundaries. My feelings would be hurt too. As long as she growing fine I wouldn't worry. I know you've already been preached to, so I won't do that. But let me tell you what works for me.
When my girls were ready to start mushy food I introduced veggies first then fruit so they wouldn't get used to the sweet taste first. My 11yr. old eats everything and my 7yr. old is only picky with some dinners. With dinner we all eat the same thing , meaning I don't make special things if it's something she's not crazy about. I was raised this way, plus it's too much trouble and too expensive. When I was a kid , I remember my mom made cabbage rolls and I didn't like them. Over the years I really grew to love them. Experts say it's good you keep offering children foods becauase their tastes change. I don't believe in forcing them to eat though.
My kids like roasted veggies ( you can do that with potatoes or cauliflower with olive oil. They also like stir fried veggies. They also like smoothies- banana, frozen strawberries, berry juice,2tsps. sugar and blend. Keep cut veggies in the fridge with dip. Also if she's old enough teach her about the nutritional value of fruit and veggies. Maybe you can make a reward system where if she eats the dinner you make she gets a reward. A friend of mine has 4 kids and 2 of them eat mostly chicken nuggets and kraft dinner separate from the dinner she makes for the rest of the family.
It's also helpfull to let her see you eat fruits and veggies. Tell her in a nice way that there is alot of yummy foods she's missing out of. Best of luck to you and your family.

[AAAAA]

Fruits by definition contain high amounts of sugar. If you're giving her the good stuff with no sugar added, she'll get no more natural sugar than eating an apple or a handful of grapes. The light ones have less sugar.

Have you thought of trying those fruit juices that have veggie juice hiding in them? Juicey Juice comes no mind, they have one with carrot juice in it.

[VanillaBean]

Jerry Seinfeld's wife, Jessica, wrote a cookbook called "Deceptively Delicious" that gives parents all sorts of ways to get their kids to eat healthy without knowing it. There is also a second book out titled "The Sneaky Chef", by Missy Chase Lapine, which is very similar to Mrs. Seinfeld's book (apparently there was some speculation that Jessica had "ripped off" Lapine's ideas - but that is hardly the point). I haven't read either book, but thought of them while reading this thread. Perhaps they could give you some ideas on how to deal with your daughter's eating habits. Good Luck. And by the way, tell your neighbor to mind her own business!

Home made chicken nuggets are great they taste far better, you take some chicken breast chop them up small then cover them with egg and home made bread crumbs place in the oven till golden brown.

Buy a juicer they are real cheap and make your own fruit juice again really easy if a little messy ! But kids will love to help making it and experimenting with different types of fruit.