Need help l dont know what to do!!!

dont know if this should go here!

I really dont know what to do or say to my five year old son........... for almost ten days now my son keeps saying that he is going to die, at first l just sort of said no your not dont be silly, but now the days and turning into weeks and he keeps repeating it over and over and then he cries saying" mommy please dont let me die , l dont want to die" so now this is an issue.
I find myself doing all the things to try to comfort him and trying to explain in the simplest way l know how but all l have done is to make it worse. Until now l have said nothing to nobody but its breaking my heart to see the tears pouring down his face as he repeats over and over that he doesnt want to know but he knows that he will.
He says that he doesnt know who told him it, he has been protected l tell him not too think about it no more he says ok but then within 30 mins or so he is saying to me that he cant stop thinking about it and he doesnt want it to happen.

Please any help or suggestions, prayers or thoughts would be greatly appreciated....................now he is saying that he isnt feeling well but all things are normal!!! Please anyone???? They say that some people know, my mind is in over drive

Something is scaring him, have you asked why he feels this way? Perhaps if you can get to the source of the problem you can help him more. I'd definately call your local mental health facility and find a peds therapist.

Has any one passed away recently in the family or a close friend? - I ask this because I have found that young kids start to think about their own death (or fear the death of a parent) after someone close to them has died.

No no one has died and he didnt know that l was so sick this isall so confusing. If he had experienced a death then maybe l would understand

Has he been angry at any one or separated from a loved one that he is angry with? - like dad or a dear grandparent?

I ask as young kids can often associate emotional loss to death, hence why he could be dying inside from hurt.

Hi Silentandscared,
I would take him to a pediatrician if these fears don't subside. Has he watched any scary shows or played any violent video games. It could be that he's confused about death or is just starting to question death. When he's going through this, try asking him what has caused him to feel this way. Ask him if he has any questions about death itself. I know my own child was quite scared when she was 4 and her Grandfather died. Try not to show that you are upset when he goes through these episodes. If it doesn't subside then take him to the doctor.

Either he's seen a movie or game when you weren't aware, and it freaked him out. Maybe a movie involving killing or kids, and he felt scared.

I'd take him to a pediatrician because this is causing you and him distress, and isn't going away yet. If you could find the source that'd be great.

Have you tried playing along with him? Asking him things like "why" or "what do they/him/her tell you?" and basic questions to get him to give clues about the source.

About what he said about being normal, what is normal and what part is unwell? Either way, if you want to get inside someone's head, try to play along. Let him know you're there to support AND you believe him. Doesn't matter if he says an octopus will come through the lamp and eat you. The more you support, the more you (and doctors) can figure out, and hopefully be with him step-for-step.

How is he around other kids? Is he also like this or does he snap to being all fine and bouncing around?

Hunny... you're a wonderful mother... to three adorable children. You always hold their best interest in both heart and mind each and every day.
Your little guy is so smart, deep thinking and fun to talk to. Some children find it harder to come to terms with the knowledge about death... as you of course know... You will reach his mind with your gentleness, caring embrace, listening ear, soothing understanding words, explanations true and told in a simple way... Maybe try let him draw what is on his mind and you can draw too... It might be easier for him to express what he feels doing that and that may open a door for you to walk further guiding him.

I guess it's very individual how to approach a child with this questions and worries... I don't have the correct answers... but I want you to know I'm here to listen and hold you from a distance.

((((((( silentandscared )))))))

Is there anyway that he could have heard of another child that has passed away or is very ill? My son at five went through something similar after hearing of a sick local boy, though my son's reaction was not as severe as your son's, it could very well explain it. I have to be careful that my son is not watching the news so he doesn't hear of a child dying because he becomes convinced that he will die too.
I hope this is just a stage that passes soon, I will keep you and your son in my thoughts.

It might be worth checking to see if any older children have been feeding him stories to scare him.

It's hard to know where the fear may be coming from without professional help. It could be something simple like he overheard a news broadcast or had a nightmare. It's very real to him and he needs validation for his fears. When my oldest was 5 my great-grandmother died. We were living 2,500 miles from home so we were unable to go to the funeral, so it's not like he had any negative memories from the incident (other than his grandmother not being there when we went home of course). He handled the news pretty well, but a couple of years later his grief was prompted after having a dream about my grandmother.

Thank you all for all your kind words, we really dont know what is going on with my son at the moment other than to know that he is very very distressed and convinced that he will die very soon. It breaks my heart to watch him struggle with all of this and leaves me feeling very inadequateall of the immediate family all have their own opinions of course as to what is going on for him and im sensing they are thinking that this is alot to do with me...... and l suppose that maybe it is. As much as l have tried to protect my children from my struggles maybe l have not done as well as l thought which deepens the sadness l am feeling. Tomorrow l will meet with his teachers and then later in the day with the priest who takes him for mass and is in charge of the schools religious studdies.thank you all...............this hurts very bad..................

mandyxx

Gosh, how sad for the little guy and you too (((silent and scared and little 5yr. old)))

Do you watch the news, because I don't know about you, but for me it is completely depressing because all they talk about is the bad stuff, murders, etc.

Maybe it could also be he is afraid you will die?

Are you considering therapy for him?

At the moment we are recieving help from his school and from the church. Yes he did used to be around when the news was on this has now stopped to try to rule this out. From meeting with his teacher and our priest we think we are almost sure what has sparked this for him and we are all working hard to help him with this.

At this point we are not considering therapy for him but obviously we will keep this under constant review and we will always work in his best interests

thank you all for all your replies

Sassyxx

((((silent and son))))

xoxoxoxo

Life can be so so cruel ..................l am so fed up with it all. My son who l thought was feeling a little better is now so distressed that he is vomiting and nothing anyone is saying to him seems to be helping very much. My heart breaks as l watch him struggle with all of this and then what happens ???????? my children have one bird each..................they love them and have been watching them building a nest in preparation for mating...............they come home from school today too find one of the birds this youngest and newest is dead at the bottom of the cage

Dont get me wrong l know that they have to learn but why now????? it just seems so cruel when my son is already strugglking so hard and convinced that he is about to die......................the whole night has been spent trying to calm them down and my son sobbing himself to slep. He has not eaten in two days didnt sleep last night................................HOW DO I HELP HIM?..............I AM SO STRUCK WITH ALL THIS
Please keep him in your prayers

Sassy

I would call his pediatrician and ask for a consultation and then go from there.... ((( hugs ))) for you, your son and your family.

I noticed in one of your responses you said your son didn't know you were so sick. Maybe he is picking up on that. Kids are very smart. They pick on the most subtle hints of things it's just amazing. If he is picking up on your fear of dying it may be enough to trigger the death scare with him. Just a thought. I am sorry to hear you are so sick and hope it gets better for you and your son. Sending well wishes and vibes your way

I would just be there for him and talk to him and reassure him that he is not going to die. Tell him if he can't stop feeling scared, you will take him to a doctor to make sure he is ok and that he won't die. Maybe he will want to go and you can have him talk to someone who really knows whether it will happen or not. That's what I would do. But whatever you do, stay calm!