In June, I might be homeless.

Open Eyes · Jul 28, 2011, 08:35 PM

Part of you is not sure, and that is normal. Rose, I know you can do this, take the steps and see what happens, your a good caregiver person, it is what you know.
Once you get back into it you will feel better, it is just taking the steps to being more independant again. Tell yourself it is for you, you need to do for you.

Open Eyes

Rose76 · Jul 29, 2011, 07:00 PM

Today, I actually emailed a resume to a potential employer. It was so hard for me to do that because I am so computer illiterate. I just saw a place on-line where I can take computer courses on line for free. So I shall start finding out how to do things.

I feel so good about myself that I overcame the fear of emailing a resume. I feel hopeful now that I can get back to work - somewhere. Even if this attempt doesn't get me a job, I will keep trying.

Open Eyes · Jul 29, 2011, 07:22 PM

It is a beginning of taking steps. Hey, free online computer lessons, give me that address. I am not the greatest with computers either. And to be honest I don't know if I would know how to email a resume either. I don't have a fax or scanner.
I would have to learn how to create one in my computer and do it that way somehow.

So good for you Rose,
Open Eyes

Rose76 · Jul 29, 2011, 08:12 PM

Here is the web site I found, sponsored by Goodwill:

www.gcflearnfree.org

Looks like a good resource.

Thanks Open Eyes, Sometimes I think I'm the only one struggling so much, and I feel like an obsolete human being. Now, I have hope.

Open Eyes · Jul 29, 2011, 09:04 PM

LOL, Oh I know what you mean. I have the original cell phone. I have no idea about all these different phones/cameras/minicomputers/ all one things are. Honestly I never had that much time to get involved with that stuff.

But I do have to say that when we first got the computer it was hacked and you know that story, it was the people I talked to DYF about. So I was very turned off by computers. And ofcourse when I joined PC everyone had to tell me to be careful.
This is really the only place I go and I blab enough here. LOL

Well Rose I am impressed with you, you go girl. You can do it, your a smarty.

I will have to investigate this learning site, thanks,

Open Eyes

IceCreamKid · Jul 30, 2011, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rose76

Here is the web site I found, sponsored by Goodwill:

www.gcflearnfree.org

Looks like a good resource.

Thanks Open Eyes, Sometimes I think I'm the only one struggling so much, and I feel like an obsolete human being. Now, I have hope.

I have found reading your posts very helpful. Thanks.

Rose76 · Aug 04, 2011, 08:17 AM

For two and a half weeks, I have felt much better than I have in months. I am really getting a lot done. I finally have a possible prospect for a job. So far, I've been managing to make ends meet on my small income. Soon, I may have to borrow from my sister, but I'ld much rather not.

I still haven't done my taxes for 2010, and there is a good likelihood that I have a significant refund coming form the federal and the state. I must put up a big note somewhere to remind me to collect the paper work and bring it to the accountant.

I applied for a job that I thought I had a good chance of getting. Now I am getting doubtful.

My pdoc gave me a letter saying I have am disabled for purposes of subsidized housing. A non-profit advocacy agency is helping me apply for Section 8 voucher. Now they say I might get it in 4 months, but they had been saying it would take two years. So I am a little confused. I wouldn't have to move, as the small apartment complex I live in already has at least one tenant who gets a Section 8 voucher. I've been in this apartment for just over four years. I am a very good tenant and get along well with my neighbors. My rent is always paid on time. So I doubt my landlord would have a problem with the voucher.

I really should get on those taxes. It might prevent the need to borrow, a bit longer, and I might get hired in the meantime. I hate to have to ask my sister.

They had encouraged me to apply for SSDI, but I feel I am employable and would like to focus on getting back to work. I'm learning how to submit resumes on-line.

Rose76 · Aug 13, 2011, 06:06 AM

June came and went and I did not end up in crisis. I've been managing on my Unemployment Insurance Benefits. My check is rather small, but it keeps the necessities taken care of.

I was granted UIB in March. Soon my 26 weeks of collecting will be up. I know so little about how this system works. I haven't collected since I was about 20 years old. I have not found a job. I wonder if I can get an extension.

If anyone knows anything about that, I would really appreciate anything you can tell me. In my city, the agency that disburses the Unemployment checks does not have a "bricks and mortar" building where I can go in and ask questions.

If it were decided to not grant me the extension, then I would have no income. I'm looking for a job, but I can not work at the level of proficiency that I used to measure up to. So I have to rule out a lot of jobs as being too likely for me to fail at.

I sure hope I get either a job (ideal) or an extension of UI benefits. I live alone and don't have family that I am close to. I hear that General Assistance is only given to persons that have filed for SSDI. (That's what I was told.") Over the past four years, I used up all the savings I had. I really don't want to borrow money. Can anyone tell me if it is likey that I could get an extension. Also, what do I do to put in for that?

Any morsel of information will be greatly appreciated.

Sunna · Aug 13, 2011, 01:09 PM

Hello Rose,
So sorry you are dealing with so much uncertainty. I don't have any useful information, unfortuntalely, but I just wanted to encourage you to get on those taxes.

I kinda know the thing. I usually do extension, even though I have a refund coming. What I found helpful, is to make an agreement with myself to just start going at them. Not that I will DO everything today, it does take me several days usually anyhow, but that I will do a little today, just one section perhaps, essentially break the monumental task into bits that I can clearly visualize as super easy, doable and not in the least intimidating or overwhelming. What can you do? Are you doing online or on paper? Just do the first thing today, whatever that first thing is, just that. More often than not I end up getting sucked into it and do more than I planned, and that's fine, but "tricking yourself" is not the point.
Good luck to you, hope that section 8 comes in soon.

Rose76 · Aug 13, 2011, 01:48 PM

Sunna, I keep forgetting about the taxes. Thank you so much for reminding me. I am having a CPA do them because I took out retirement savings to live off of. I have a container of relevant paperwork. I should go through it, organize it, and call her Monday.

Wow - I have a little nest-egg in those refunds from Federal and State. It could get me over the hump. I just put the container of stuff on my kitchen table. I get afraid that something the accountant needs might be missing. Will go through it TODAY.

Wow - I'm not as bad off as I thought.

Great advice. My heartfelt thanks. Just the little "push" I needed. I forget so much.

Rose76 · Aug 17, 2011, 08:44 AM

I plan to get tax material collected to bring to accountant. I must do it TODAY. I have procrastinated into feeling bad about myself. I need to feel better. I must reduce "day dreaming" today.

Rose76 · Aug 18, 2011, 05:57 PM

Despite worrying about employment and income, I was undepressed from July 21 until about yesterday. That was the first time in a year that I had that good a chunk of recovery. I just felt super and a lot of symptoms vanished. Over that 3 and 1/2 weeks I did so much. My apartment is cleaned up nice, and I am cleaned up from actually showering daily, and I went through dense files and pulled out all the tax stuff for handing in to CPA tomorrow.

Now the happy train is running out of steam and I can feel myself losing momentum. I am panicking over dread of going in the pit again. There is too much at stake.

Time to leave this apartment and go do some laundry. I better go now. The crying is starting and I refuse to give up easy. I will take some CD's and the CD player. I absolutely can not fall apart now. Maybe some ritalin. I better go now.

Rose76 · Aug 25, 2011, 06:16 PM

I have got to the point that I will have to ask my sister for a loan, or I will start defaulting on bills withing 2 weeks. She would make me a loan and I don't think she would mind. I've done it for her in the past. What I don't like is that it would allow her to know how low I got financially. She would know I would have to be broke before I would ask her for a loan.

That's not exactly true. She knows I would ask to borrow from her before I would ever go to a place that charges huge interest rates, like those payday loan companies. Places like that have been sending me offers of loans. But I would not borrow from a place like that. I would chose default first. So me asking her won't necessarily tell her that I have exhausted all other avenues. I haven't. There just aren't any other sensible avenues. So she would figure that out. She would figure out that I have no savings. That might surprise her, but probably not a lot. I did let her know back awhile ago that I was out of work, and had been for an extended period.

I'm in better shape mentally to get a job now than I have been at any time in the past year. I have to overcome my fear of the work arena and put out applications/resumes. Some places tell you to download an application, fill it out and walk in with it. I think I could face that now.

I thought I would ask my sister to send me a check for one thousand. I could ask for more than that, but I wouldn't. That would get me through possibly until November. That should be plenty of time to find a job.

If I don't find work by then, I would let myself default on my debts. I would just pay my rent, cell phone, and internet. I need the last two in order to have any hope of finding a job. I would disconnect my land line and satellite TV. My TV is only $26/month cause I get just the cheapest thing they have.

My unemployment check would pay my rent and utilities and cell phone and internet. Well, it might be a little short. I'm forgetting about gas for the car.

I will get my tax rebate probably in October. I am still grateful to the poster above who reminded me to get going on that. I got all info together and dropped it off with accountant just the other day.

I'm trying to keep from having a mental breakdown as I am writing this. I won't be homeless, as long as I get unemployment and I will probably get that for another 6 months. Surely I will be working before then. Now I am falling apart. Now I am silently sobbing. Funny how long experience with being depressed let me learn how to cry and sob even without making a sound. My throat hurts now.

I have been regained being undepressed and have been diligently getting organized. My apartment is like a different place.

I guess I will email my sister tomorrow morning. I can't face it right now. It's really not that big of a deal. I have never been a drain on any one in my life. (and I have bailed out others)

I have to keep doing like I've been doing, which is getting much better mood-wise. I will go to work on job specific resumes tomorrow where I can get help on that. Having little computer skills is making things difficult. Help is available though. I will start a schedule of being down where I can get help and I have to commit to going faithfully. Even non-mentally disturbed people are out of work. That's what makes me scared.

dennisone · Sep 20, 2011, 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rose76

I have no job. I don't get SSDI. I have been told I might qualify for SSDI. Even, one counselor (in Nov. of 2009) told me to apply and sent me to an advocacy agency that would guide me through. It just didn't seem to me that I was too disabled to work. In less than 3 months, I was back working. So I thought that I was glad that I didn't take the advice of the counselor. It was a good paying job. Well, 3 months later, I was out of work again. I haven't worked since.

I've supported myself by going through all my savings. I cashed in my IRA. Not that I had a lot saved. But enough for me to live off for months. I figured that I would eventually get a job. Over the past 15 years, I took easier and easier jobs because employers would tell me that I wasn't coping and they would ask for my resignation, or I would offer it. The last job I had was about the easiest job that a person in my field can do. And I managed to not cope well with that. So, since I lost that, I feel like I would not have the references to get another job. Also, I fear failing at a job again, like has happened over and over.

So, I got no job and no money left. My rent is paid for May. I got enough food in kitchen to last me a month. I get a small unemployment check. I will qualify for some food stamps. My employer is appealing to Unemployment Insurance, saying I should not get any benefits because they say I was let go from my job for good reason. (That's debatable.) They may win the appeal, then I won't have even that little income.

I live alone and there is no one to help me support myself. I could borrow some money from a sister who lives far away and has no idea the straights I am in. I don't see how I could ask her for money, when I see a good chance I might never pay her back.

June will put me in a crisis. I am actually thinking that eventually (like in June) I may put my furniture in storage and present myself to a shelter. (I am well on in years, but not old enough to collect regular Social Security.) I could borrow enough to pay storage for a few months. I wouldn't feel bad borrowing that small an amount. Then I could just sell the stuff, if it looks like I will not be finding a way out of the shelter. I've slept at that shelter a few times in the past. It's okay to sleep in. The lavatory facilities are kind of gross. The food was inedible. (But, I would have food stamps to eat with.) They don't let you stay there in the daytime. I could go read at the library . . . or sit in a park.

A law firm said they had a good chance of getting me SSDI in a matter of months. I don't believe that was said in good faith. I've been advised that it could take 2 years. So the plan I outlined above is what I've come up with in answer to the question I ask myself, "What if I get to where I literally can't pay my rent?"

At times, I can seem so well, that no one would think I couldn't find a job. Maybe they could be right. Maybe, I just gave up.

My sister would lend me a substantial amount if it was to get on my feet and then be okay. I may not ever be okay again. So, I would not just take her money, knowing that. I wouldn't want her to even know how low I have gone down. Partly, I would not want to worry her. Also, I think she'ld be pretty disgusted that I got to where I am. All my life I feared this and fought against getting this low. Now I feel so tired and don't see that I will ever work at a responsible job again. I went to Goodwill to be in one of their programs; they got a waiting list. Seems like in June - I'm going to be in a jam where I might as well go to the street and maybe work myself up from there. Maybe, if I truly had nothing, I might qualify for more help.

that sucks

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In June, I might be homeless.

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