I am running out of patience for SSI.

I've been waiting at least 4 months to find out whether or not they need any more information or have made any progress or anything. I went to the office a few weeks ago and they said I should hear something back this month so I am hoping for that. But yeah I am getting pretty restless not having much to do and constantly having to worry about how to even afford the bus.

Luckily my dad is able to help some with money though hes out of work at the moment so hes not going to be able to help much for a while...he's staying with a friend and would likely be homeless if he wasn't. My mom also agreed to give me around 20 dollars a week if I help out around the house like sweep, mop at least and whatever else I notice that needs done as well as watching my brother where needed. Other then that though my mom works all day and the bus is too expensive for me to really go and try and find things to do to occupy myself.......Even something like volunteering would be a bit of an issue unless I want to spend all of what little I do get on the bus since my mom can only afford to get me bus tickets every so often which barely covers a few rides to visit my dad and/or just to get out of the house and do something different.

I can't really better spend the money I have since its not much and I don't really need anymore stuff to store in my room so I use it for bus money if I don't have the bus tickets, food, drinks and mostly things that run out. Since I don't really get enough to save up for anything like a new t.v to replace the one in my room or anything else like that I'd want, unless I want to spend all my time cleaning and being stuck around the house since if I am saving the money I can't use it for the bus or activities outside the house aside from walking in the park.

So yeah before I get too far off track the point is I am running out of patience and not quite sure what to do about it. I mean the temptation is there to try and just mask all my symptoms and dysfunctionality as best I can to try and find a part time job I can manage to keep....but I know just like every other time I'll only over strain myself and get burnt out that is 'if' I even was able to get a job in the first place and its a pretty big if. So my best bet really is to wait on the SSI......I just feel so useless waiting around for that while having to depend on my mom for a place to live, food and a bit of money and my dad for a bit of money or help with paying my pay as you go phone. I mean its not like they are well off though my mom is doing better than my dad financially but I know it strains them having to help me out.

Its a bit of a ramble but yeah its been getting to me. I mean a the moment it seems this country is great well that is until you look at how the mentally disabled, probably physically disabled(but I haven't dealt with that) and poor are treated. I mean dragging out the process so it takes as long as possible for someone who cant function well enough for work just to get a small fixed income to barely survive on seems like a bad policy to me. I actually think if I did get SSI I could make it work though I might not be able to get a place of my own or anything. I guess maybe I am just a little bit angry about it as well. I spent my whole childhood being 'patient' just coping with things I shouldn't have been coping with hoping one day it would be better just so long as I worked hard and kept going and did my best to mask weaknesses or how things made me feel. So if I seem overly impatient then that's why....because I am tired of it and would like to actually start my life, a bit of consistant income seems like a good start to me not that I necessarily like it but in this society its hard to survive without income.

What I did for a while Hellion, is I did some "house cleaning jobs" and "babysat" for other people's children. It is amazing how much someone can make doing that. You can ask for "cash" as payments and it can help to bring in some extra money. Sometimes you can find an older person who needs extra help and doesn't have the abilities to do their cleaning and laundry too. Do you have a driver's licence? because sometimes an older person can no longer drive and yet has a car and needs someone to help them do errands. That has been my own parent's predicament, so I do know these people are out there.

When I started my own business, I went to places, like grocery stores and local convenience stores and hung signs with my name and number attached, All you need to do is perhaps find some jobs within walking distance at first, don't even have to do more than you can handle. I have a friend that did that and she now has her own business with a bunch of customers she cleans houses for and even runs errands for.

Just a thought,
Open Eyes

I so understand the frustration of the waiting game Hellion. I had to wait for my SSDI as well as does everyone who applies for federal funding. It can't suck enough.....

I was a very lucky girl though and was approved in 5 months for my SSDI. I have heard horror stories of folks with terrible disabilities waiting years for disability. I don't get it, I don't understand it.

I believe though, that as difficult as it is to wait for a determination, we always end up getting what we need.

I wish you the best Hellion and hope and pray you hear something very very soon!

I am all for cleaning but the only cleaning jobs I can find require one to have a vehicle and supplies, and I don't know anyone who can hire me to clean their house sort of under the table or whatever and even if I did I could get in trouble for not reporting wages to the SSI department I think. As for babysitting I don't feel I am a good person to be in charge of other peoples children for any length of time my brother being the exception since he's my brother and so I know him but I don't do well with kids I don't know. I don't have a license or any means to afford a car and even if I did I wouldn't be able to drive in traffic safely anyways so I wouldn't risk it.

Also with applying for the SSI from my understanding I would have to be very careful not to end up making too much money or that could interfere. And there aren't any jobs available I can do within walking distance......there's fast food and most people in the don't have much money to pay unlicensed job seekers. Its a nice idea, though even if I was lucky and did find a couple cleaning jobs I doubt that would bring in an income it would still be a little bit to scrape by on like I get from my mom for helping out.

Also, as embarrassing as it is as much as I would like to clean house for spare money I doubt I could keep up with even that...I'd hate to agree to clean a house and then be unable to complete the job because a wave of deep depression hits me for instance. With family like my mom she understands I have limitations and have to do things my own way at my own pace not so sure a stranger who's house I am cleaning would be as patient.

im in a similar situation...aplied last april, got denied and i got a lawyer for my appeal my court date for the appeal is on feb 1 and im going crazy in the meantime...i dont know what ill do if im.denied...i tried for years to work and never lasted longer than 1.5years at any one job most lasted around 6 months...good luck and best thing to do is try to not worry about it too much. also if you get denied, which about 95percent of people do the firwt go round, appeal and keep trying. i think the reason it is so soow is to see who will last it out and who needs it...jmo

Yeah I just wish they would tell me if I am denied or not, or if my case is even being analized. I mean I need to know if its denied to appeal it and its a bit concerning when I haven't heard anything at all back since November when I first applied. I will certainly appeal it though if I do find out it was denied. Also I do try not to worry about it too much since it gets to be to much stress anyways, but I have to admit being 23, 25 in less than two years and 30 in less than 10 I really feel like I'm just wasting my life waiting on this but I don't see what other choice I have.

I can't function in society or well enough for a lot of jobs, there are a few part time jobs I could probably handle but then there is the problem of finding them. If I could find a commune or something that would basically allow me to get by without having to depend on this society that would be preferable but then there is the issue of potentially leaving everyone I know to live with a bunch of people I don't know so not so sure how i'd get along or whatever.

I applied over 2 years ago ... denied, denied ( much to my pdoc's shock)
I just recieved in the mail today a court date for a hearing, its in april.

The wheels of disability move slowly.

I finally got something from them, stuff to fill out and send back so I think that's a good sign...I keep hoping it will work out but then I can't help thinking of what could happen if it doesn't. It's difficult to have much positive outlook on it when there's a 50% chance it could go either way.