[CopperStar]

In case I wind up actually needing to apply some years down the road (fingers crossed starting medication will help me enough),

Will the government (U.S.) take into consideration that even if you have a wealthy parent, that the wealthy parent might not be willing to help you at all?

Does the government even consider how wealthy your family is at all?

I've run into this issue a lot in my personal life over the years. My mother is rather well-off, but that doesn't mean that I am, too, just because I am her adult offspring.

She and her husband's incomes combined is over a quarter of a million dollars per year, yet all this past Winter I sat isolated without treatment in her house because she didn't want to spend the money on taking me to a psychiatrist. It has only been recently after all these months when I started to become psychotic again that she finally agreed to take me to a pdoc.

I find that a lot of people can't wrap their minds around the possibility that a wealthy parent would choose not to help their own offspring, but it does happen. But now I'm afraid it would look like I was just shooting the **** all Winter and could have received treatment but chose not to. Even my own pdoc seemed to find it weird that I have been housed for about 10 months now but am just now coming in for treatment. I didn't even try to explain it.

Will this hurt my chances of getting help in the future somehow?

[Perna]

If you live with your mother it will. They look into your life situation. Since you are not working, I presume you could not qualify for Social Security Disability (plus, if you do not have an ongoing relationship with a doctor you probably would not qualify for disability at all) and Supplemental Security Income would only be because you can't pay rent, buy food, etc. effectively.

[CopperStar]

Originally Posted by Perna

If you live with your mother it will. They look into your life situation. Since you are not working, I presume you could not qualify for Social Security Disability (plus, if you do not have an ongoing relationship with a doctor you probably would not qualify for disability at all) and Supplemental Security Income would only be because you can't pay rent, buy food, etc. effectively.

What about help with medications? That is my biggest concern. All this while for the past several months I have been unable to have medication because I'm dependent on my mother and she would not pay for it. I can hardly function at all without medication. My mother is also the sort who would suddenly stop paying for my meds if she were in a snit about something, meaning that I would suddenly be going with withdrawal on top of symptoms returning.

What is best for a person to do if they live with a parent but can't afford medication? Would it be better for me to be homeless?

[marmaduke]

I didn't even try to explain it.
Maybe you should try and explain it. Hopefully if hes any good he would listen.

I find it hard to explain myself, especially to people like doctors, so, I write how it is down and say, 'I hope you don't mind, I've written down how things are'
They're usually OK with that.

[CopperStar]

Originally Posted by marmaduke

I didn't even try to explain it.
Maybe you should try and explain it. Hopefully if hes any good he would listen.

I find it hard to explain myself, especially to people like doctors, so, I write how it is down and say, 'I hope you don't mind, I've written down how things are'
They're usually OK with that.

That is a good point, I might try it. It's nerve-wrecking for me to try to explain it to people. They usually have WTF looks on their face as a reaction, and I can never even tell if they empathize or don't believe me or what. I hate having to try to 'fight for my reality' because it's a pointless, endless battle, bunch of stress for nothing. I think I might also feel ashamed or embarrassed about it, too. Probably old childhood wound issues. You know how when your parent rejects you as a little kid, you automatically assume it's because something is wrong with you. That sort of thing. Creates a lot of anxiety. I also just don't expect a pdoc to care about my personal life problems, only psychiatric symptoms. Don't want to be like crying on their shoulder about my messed up parents when they're not a therapist just a pdoc.

I don't want to be on disability in terms of rent and so on because I can survive without it while other people can't. But I definitely need a safety net for medication.

[marmaduke]

I also just don't expect a pdoc to care about my personal life problems, only psychiatric symptoms.
Its all part and parcel of the same thing surely? A good pdoc should be interested in any circumstances that might have contributed to your difficulies.
I hate having to try to 'fight for my reality'
Me too, I think having cold, disinterested parents who treated me as unimportant destroyed any natural self esteem I might have had. I considered myself as a burden & nusance. I mean, like mother had told me sooo many times 'Who would be interested in you, eh? No one! nobody likes you! you will never hve any friends (snigger).

Therefore I assumed that anyone who had to listen to the sound of my voice would be extremely bored very quickly.
Gee. Thanks mum.

Write your doc that letter, keep it shortish, he won't have time to read a novel. If hes half decent he should understand. Its what hes paid for.

[dancinglady]

Can you move out of their home? The system definitely will look at the entire household income. You have to be separate or living in a roommate situation with a non related person. That way their income is not counted. Do you have a friend where you could sleep on a couch.

[Rose76]

If you'ld earned enough work credits to be eligible for SSDI, you getting that would have absolutely nothing to do with your mother's wealth . . . or even your own wealth, if you had a fortune.

SSI is another story. If you are too disabled to worK, you should apply for it. You would have to report your living situation, and I'm not sure how they would factor in the support from your mom. As far as help with medications, you need to try to get on Medicaid.

In deciding what to apply for, do not refrain from applying for something because you want to leave the money there for someone harder up than you. That's not how it works. You won't be helping some needy person have a better chance of getting SSI because you didn't go after it for yourself. Your decisions for what to go after should be based on what you might qualify for. Talk to a disability lawyer for a good assessment of your likelihood of getting SSI.

[CopperStar]

Originally Posted by dancinglady

Can you move out of their home? The system definitely will look at the entire household income. You have to be separate or living in a roommate situation with a non related person. That way their income is not counted. Do you have a friend where you could sleep on a couch.

No, but I could be homeless. I've survived it before, and I could do it again.

Right now my options seem to be

1. Live a disabled life as my mother's house pet.
2. Try to get and hold down a minimum wage job while living as my mother's house pet.
3. Kill myself.
4. Try to find a homeless shelter and throw my fate to the wind.

Options 1 and 2, I don't think I can stand them much longer. But I'm still down to try option 4 before option 3.

[marmaduke]

No, but I could be homeless. I've survived it before, and I could do it again.

Youve been homeless? How was that how did you cope?

[dancinglady]

I think the only option of all four would be #4. You would at least get a support worker that could help navigate the world. You would become indigent and a lot of doors open up when that happens. I have been homeless 3 times. I had the wealthy parent and living with what you describe would be undesirable to me. This is just my experience.

[CopperStar]

Originally Posted by marmaduke

No, but I could be homeless. I've survived it before, and I could do it again.

Youve been homeless? How was that how did you cope?

It was only for about a month, and it was in the cluster of cities north of LA (Venice and Santa Monica mostly). I was in a definite mood episode with some psychosis going on, so the memory of it all is pretty weird in my mind. I met some other homeless people and some of them were very sweet and helped me figure out where to get food, also let me hang with them which provided safety in numbers to an extent. I think it was an awful experience that my brain perceived as amazingly spiritual due to my mood state. But I did learn a lot and I did survive. I must admit that a large part of my survival is probably owed to a few very good souls out there.

[jaynedough]

Hi CopperStar. Sorry you're having to live like this. IDK what the laws are where you are, but where I live, I was able to count myself as my own family, even though I lived with my parents. I had Medicaid coverage. I also had food stamps for a while. Have you tried calling 211? They can help you find the resources you need and deserve.

My parents weren't always supportive of my mental issues, but eventually they did come around. Hopefully yours will, too.

I hope that you find some relief soon. Take care.

[neverending]

I don't know about living with your parents. My mother's income has no affect on ssd. Her giving me gifts has no efffects on ssd as it is not earned income. If she dies my inheritance has no effect on my ssd again because it is not earned income.

[ChipperMonkey]

Whaaaaaa?

Ok, OLD post, but there is SO much misinformation here!

YES, you CAN be living with other wealthier family members and be approved for disability! (I was living with my parents when I was approved, and they had a decent income at the time.) Disability is about YOU and what YOU are capable of.

If you're a single adult, then they only look at you and you alone. There is no provision in SSDI that says if you're lucky enough to have a family member take you in and provide for you, then you're SOL, too bad, you paid into it but since someone else is footing the bill, you don't qualify!

When it comes to state benefits like food stamps, then yes, they look at WHOLE household size....but that doesn't mean you can't live with someone. My official household size is ONE yet I live with two other people. I have to sign statements that say I purchase and prepare my own food. (I do pay rent, so its more of a tenant/lessee situation.)

[Rose76]

Everything you say about SSDI is true, Chipper. I don't see where anyone else above said anything different. Having ten million dollars in the bank would not disqualify anyone from getting SSDI. It's not a "means tested" benefit - just as you say.

If the original poster does not have enough work credits to qualify for SSDI, then her alternative would be to hope to get SSI (Supplemental Security Income.) When you apply for SSDI, you can also be considered for SSI. SSI is basically federal welfare for the aged and disabled who are very poor. Most recipients of SSI either could not qualify for SSDI or regular Social Security - OR: they do get one of those checks, but the amount is very small.

Getting SSI does depend on "means testing." You have to be poor. Living with parents who support you to some extent can lessen your eligibility. Here's a reference:

"WHAT IF SOMEONE ELSE HELPS PAY MY LIVING EXPENSES?

Any food or shelter you get from someone else that you do not pay for may reduce your SSI benefit. However, we do not reduce your benefit if your spouse who is living with you provides these items. Likewise, if you are a minor child, we will not reduce your benefits if a parent or parents who live with you provide these items."

From: SSI Spotlight on Living Arrangements