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#1
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And I'm scared. We've lived together a couple years, I've seen what happens when she goes off her meds. She did a week ago and now looks like someone abused her. Bruises on her arms from biting them, plus a cigarette burn. She threw some things while we were out, broke my suribachi and got some unidentified sticky stuff on the walls. We were able to keep her calm until her appointment today, after which we thought she'd have her meds again.
Well, her doctor doesn't take Medicaid which she just qualified for and was then disqualified because she makes too much. So she now has no insurance. Disability also rejected her because she has a job. If any of those government asshats came to our place when she's having an episode, they would see she badly needs the insurance. But that's not how it works. What the hell are we supposed to do now? We live in Colorado. She doesn't qualify for any assistance that we've tried, which is ********. We have a 2 bedroom apartment. She pays a third of the rent, my boyfriend and I wouldn't be able to afford it on our own. But it sounds like the only way she can get help is if she gets fired and would, if not for us, be living on the street. Does that make any freaking sense? What are we supposed to do? We got her the week off work to get back on her pills, she's supposed to go back tomorrow. Without medication she will get fired. Then we'll have to help her apply for disability all over again, and wait 6 months for their answer, during which time she won't be able to work (partly because it would disqualify her, partly because she won't be capable and actually will be very lucky to make it through that time without attempting suicide). So what the hell are we supposed to do? Sent from my Coolpad 3320A using Tapatalk
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-OCPD -Depression -Anxiety -Awaiting neuropsych testing for Autism Spectrum Disorder Zoloft 50mg "Don't it make you sad to know that life is more than who we are?" |
![]() LeeeLeee
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#2
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Does your roommate have family or a legal guardian? A social worker? Who typically handles matters concerning social security, insurance, etc.? Who is responsible for her care as far as meds, etc.?
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#3
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We are responsible for her care, though not in any legal way. She has control of all her assets and medical decisions. When she's medicated she can handle it, as long as someone makes sure she takes the pills. That's been our biggest struggle for the past few years. This is a whole new ballgame.
I was wondering if we could get paid to be her legal caretakers even though we're not family. Her mom and stepdad live nearby but offer very little help. They kicked her out around the time we met 4 years ago. A year later she moved in with us and since then we take her to get her pills, take her to the hospital when she needs to be admitted, visit her in the hospital. Make sure she eats real meat and veggies at least once a month, which is all we can really afford for any of us. Her mom hasn't visited her in the hospital once. She was supposed to take her to her appointment today, but flaked out. Again. Sent from my Coolpad 3320A using Tapatalk
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-OCPD -Depression -Anxiety -Awaiting neuropsych testing for Autism Spectrum Disorder Zoloft 50mg "Don't it make you sad to know that life is more than who we are?" |
![]() LeeeLeee
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#4
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I just read the letter from Medicaid, it looks like she will be able to use it until September. But if her income doesn't drop below the maximum qualifying income by then, I assume she will be disqualified at that point.
I suppose we could talk with her boss about reducing her hours. It's the only way I can think to get her insurance without quitting altogether, and work is good for her. When she's medicated but has nothing constructive to do she gets depressed and seems more likely to go off the pills. Sent from my Coolpad 3320A using Tapatalk
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-OCPD -Depression -Anxiety -Awaiting neuropsych testing for Autism Spectrum Disorder Zoloft 50mg "Don't it make you sad to know that life is more than who we are?" |
#5
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That's sad her parents abandoned her. I know some medications can be administered via monthly injection, mainly antipsychotics.
I don't really know a lot about this area so perhaps others can comment with ideas. If she is an adult, she can refuse medication unless she is court-ordered to do so. Legal guardianship would also go through the courts. I don't know about compensation. I think it is important to spend time thinking about taking on the commitment of being her guardian. Your state's laws should spell out what those responsibilities would entail. I believe Social Security pays a modest yearly sum to those who act as representative payees (you being responsible for any federal benefits to be used exclusively for her care like housing, food, clothing, medical care.). You'd be required to submit a yearly tax form to Social Security allocating how the money was used for her. It's important to indicate on the tax form that all funds were used each year. If there is a pattern of money going into savings then her benefits may be lowered. (Social Security told me this directly when I was approved for SSDI.) Also, you need to think about things like what if she got pregnant? She'd likely receive a monthly disability benefit until the child turns 18....but the responsibility of raising the child likely would rest on you and your boyfriend depending on her mental health status. I'm not trying to stress you out...just knowing hard decisions need to be made and lots to consider. If you haven't already, I'd explore any state and county benefits she is eligible for, as well as meeting with a state or county social worker about her housing options and care if you aren't able to take all this on. There are semi-independent living communities like small apartments where nursing staff checks in, food is brought in, etc. I had a case where a schizophrenic woman lived in such a community. Her family had disowned her after she became a heavy IV drug user and quit her meds. This woman had a beautiful little boy who became a ward of the state because she wasn't well enough to take care of her son ... fortunately the little boy was adopted by a loving family and the bio mom was content residing in the semi-independent housing. I hope I didn't overwhelm you with information. I likely have missed several pertinent issues and I don't know your state's laws. I hope things work out well for her and I commend you and your boyfriend for your efforts. I hope her health improves so she can have a safe, stable quality of life. Good luck and please post back with an update! |
![]() SoScorpio
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#6
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Quite frankly, unless you got supportive family and friends most don't you run out of money and shelters are the answer until your friend can be approved. Lawyers, actually help with the process. It is never her fault, in most cases that she got abused while off a pill
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#7
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Quote:
That I understand, I overcame a pattern of self harm myself. I don't understand why if she breaks objects they're always mine, never hers or my boyfriend's, but I don't suppose it matters much. Sent from my Coolpad 3320A using Tapatalk
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-OCPD -Depression -Anxiety -Awaiting neuropsych testing for Autism Spectrum Disorder Zoloft 50mg "Don't it make you sad to know that life is more than who we are?" |
#8
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I never think its never good for "friends" to become responsible for someone suffering from a MI that has her to this degree of unhealthy actions and no stability.
She needs to have a social worker as they are the ones that will find her treatment and help her with disability issues and housing if need be and honestly the best way for her to get a social worker is to go Inpatient.. Before being discharged she will get an appt for Pdoc and a T. And lastly being her friends and you receiving money for managing her situation to me can raise flags since she lives with you and your depending on her to pay 1/3 to keep that roof over your own head, Just a thought to consider.
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() msrobot, Rose76
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#9
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She's been committed several times. She already had a psychiatrist and refused to go to therapy. They definitely never helped get a social worker, I was under the impression she'd have to get disability first and that's the whole problem. Believe me, if I knew how we'd get her one. But she doesn't qualify for any kind of state assistance so I don't see how.
Sent from my Coolpad 3320A using Tapatalk
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-OCPD -Depression -Anxiety -Awaiting neuropsych testing for Autism Spectrum Disorder Zoloft 50mg "Don't it make you sad to know that life is more than who we are?" |
![]() ~Christina
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#10
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Quote:
Sent from my Coolpad 3320A using Tapatalk
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-OCPD -Depression -Anxiety -Awaiting neuropsych testing for Autism Spectrum Disorder Zoloft 50mg "Don't it make you sad to know that life is more than who we are?" |
#11
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If she's unwilling to follow through with getting psych help and staying on it there really is nothing you can do as she's a legal adult. I'm really sorry your in this situation, I can only imagine how awful it is watching her fall apart.
I hope that somehow someway she will find treatment and stick to it. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
#12
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It's just therapy she wouldn't do, although a few months ago she wanted to try again, said she'd realized she never told therapists enough to help her. But now there's the whole no insurance issue. At least she can use it until September.
Sent from my Coolpad 3320A using Tapatalk
__________________
-OCPD -Depression -Anxiety -Awaiting neuropsych testing for Autism Spectrum Disorder Zoloft 50mg "Don't it make you sad to know that life is more than who we are?" |
![]() ~Christina
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#13
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Department of Children and Family Services is the state agency to call. Might be named differently where you are. It's the agency that is for abused and neglected children cases. Ask for mental health services department. And if it isn't at DCF, they will tell you what agency to call. They'll likely have a department within the agency that has social workers for people like your roommate. It's government funded so there is no cost involved to get a social worker. Social workers are really knowledgeable about any services or assistance available. She may qualify for some services from within the agency itself and they will know all the state, county and local services/assistance, too. That's so sad she hurts herself like that. How often does she see her psychiatrist? |
#14
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Never heard of the dept you mention, maybe it's health and human services? It's just crazy that she's been to psychiatrists and facilities, she's in the mental health network here, and no one has ever said anything about a social worker. I know on disability and similar you are assigned one from the state. I looked up independent ones here and looks like they practice just like counselors and need insurance. Maybe there is a way to get a free one without qualifying for other aid, I'll look into it. So far it just seems like the fact that she has a job (I.e. the fact that the pills WORK) seems to be shooting her in the foot. She only sees her psych for her meds every 3 months. Then this time we find out the one she's been seeing for years on her mom's insurance doesn't take Medicaid, so she has to find a new one. She actually went downtown to some place called Denver Health that takes walkins, I didn't know that existed and kinda impressed she managed that on her own. She got a prescription and just needs to get it filled. Sent from my Coolpad 3320A using Tapatalk
__________________
-OCPD -Depression -Anxiety -Awaiting neuropsych testing for Autism Spectrum Disorder Zoloft 50mg "Don't it make you sad to know that life is more than who we are?" |
#15
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Try Health and Human Services.
If she only sees her doctor every three months and she's not doing well - call the doctor and get her in for an earlier appt. Ideally, none of us with MI would need to return to the hospital. It's really not the hospital's job to keep us from returning- their role is usually crisis stabilization. There's no fix...MI is like diabetes - it has to be managed, no cure. How's she doing? |
#16
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A social worker won't come automatically with disability. I don't have one (don't need one) and never had one regardless of whether I had medicaid or not. None has ever been suggested by IP, even the time one could have been helpful. but the hospital is great and had a really bad SW who never responded to my numerous requests to come talk to me about such things so that probably had a role. She must have left as she wasn't there my last stay but I didn't need SW services at discharge then.
She may be eligible for at least spend-down Medicaid. (Disability medicaid I think it is sometimes called). That means that after a certain amount is paid of out of pocket then Medicaid kicks in. It helps me with hospitalizations but the amount can vary and be lower than mine so that it helps each month with therapy/meds/etc. That would require a call to whomever manages Medicaid in your state (for me Dept of Job and family services). Your local NAMI (National Alliance for mental illness, NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness | NAMI: The National Alliance on Mental Illness) may be able to provide you with some contacts and support.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily |
#17
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Call "Adult Protection Services" and say you want to report a adult who, at times, cannot adequately care for herself. A social worker will be sent out to investigate. Here's a link:
https://211colorado.communityos.org/...rvice/id/51531 APS is not just for abuse and exploitation. The basis on which you would be calling them would be for her recurring psychological decompensation and inadequate medical care. The sad thing is that APS may kind of blow off her situation. You need to be persistant. When you first meet the Social Worker, I would tell him/her that I intend to make a report to her agency every time this woman decompensates. Sometimes you have to hold these people's feet to the fire a bit. If you make it clear that you will persist and not be put off, APS will be more diligent. Here's another thing you might want to consider: You don't want to leave you and your boyfriend open to charges of exploitation of this young woman. You want to put all your cards on the table with the social worker and scrupulously report the nature of the financial arrangement, whereby your housemate pays one third of the rent. Do you really see having this woman live with you as a viable longterm arrangement? What if your boyfriend and you decide to have a child? Quite honestly, I think all three of you would be better served, if APS moved in the direction of getting this woman placed in a supervised group home or in an apartment of her own with intensive support services. |
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