Gender Box: literally.

I sure to post here a lot! Guess I just like sharing with this forum.

Anyways, some of you have probably seen me refer to my theatre teacher, and her cissexist ways. But I wanted to tell one of the stories of where she actually made me upset.

So we are doing a final skit for the year, I am a senior in high school at this time of posting, and a male friend of mine and I were very eager to do a dark comedy called "Dog Eat Dog". The basic script had two male parts, and one interchangeable one. So it wad him, two girls, and me.

Now the groups all had to have an extra person in case some was out on performance day. So since our skit had three parts, we a group of four.

When we approached our teacher and asked if we could modify the script to have more female roles, or have one of the girls cross dress. And the teacher stubbornly denied our request and demanded we "stay true" to the script. Thus. Our group disbanded.

So my friend and I go through the other scripts the teacher has, and she immediately starts handing us plays that are "1 boy and 1 girl". Which was off putting, seeing as I had told her about my gender identity (hell i even had the pronoun tag on).

So we were now a group of three and were digging through scripts, and we select another dark comedy called "The Big Black Box". And we found it was an AB script about a man and a talking box. We basically didn't assign the box a gender, seeing as it's a box. So we read through it and decided it was perfect, seeing as I would be the box, and I am much better at voice acting than physical acting.

So we chose i, and as we disscussed props, the teacher came over to make sure we were doing all right. And she seemed to force the idea that the box was a girl. And I'm not exaggerating when I say that whenever we called it 'the box' or used gender ambiguous pronouns, the teacher would immediately jump in with a statement emphasizing the 'she' when refering to the box. It was very off putting, not gonna lie.

On top of that, in the play, the box refers to itself as either 'we' or 'I'. The character sheet on the front page says it is a smug baritone, suggesting the box originally had a more masculine voice and demeanor. So much for being 'true to the script' am i right?

I'm just confused at this odd double standard.

So there's my story of my oddly strict theatre teacher who won't allow cross dressing and gives inanimate objects genders. A literal gender box if you will.

...that is one odd theatre teacher. She is aware that cross-dressing was the only way plays were done at one point, right? Jeez.

That is simply ridiculous. And if I were in that position (I am non-binary, too) I would be really uncomfortable. I don't think I'd even last the class because I'd probably snap at her and correct her, which, even if you're identity is being insulted again and again, is a "rude" thing to do.

I wish I could say I was surprised that a cis person is trying to keep the cis normative strong.

Yeah, we tried to argue that we were taking the Shakespeare route, but she wasn't having it. Shame too, I would've loved to do some cool make up work, and I know my friend would have too.
Plus even today in modern theatre there is plenty of cross dressing.
Though I do admit, as a non-binary, the chance to use a gender box pun was irresistible.

I would say that teacher is in the box/closet. Methinks the lady doth protest too much. Is this a religious school? Is same sex marriage allowed in your state?

Not a religious school. I live in a pretty religious county though. From what I know, my state has a ban on same-sex marriage. My school is pretty heteronormative and cissexist. We still have abstinence based sex ed. There aren't even any gender neutral bathrooms, like family bathrooms or anything.

But most of the adults here are pretty cool. The students, well the less said about them the better. Suffice to say I hear slurs used like punctuation as I pass idle conversation. People here are pretty homophobic, transphobic, and racist.

I'm in the whitest, most religious, and Conservative county in the state. I can't wait to leave this festering hole of a city.

So, she didn't want one of the girls to cross-dress... but the box had to be a girl even though the script seemed to suggest it was masculine. Hm-m-m-m... I'm not sure I would even WANT to know what this is about!

^^
LOL! Perfect point

no cross dressing, but make sure to give every object a binary gender!

The amount of binarism in this class is overwhelming on my teacher's part. Whenever she passes by my group she refers to the two of us playing the box as 'ladies' as my pronoun nametag clearly states "i am not a girl". Literally she is doing it on purpose

Uuuuuuuuuuuugh.

That's really disgusting. I don't understand how people can be so willingly ignorant, do people like that not feel behind on the progression of society? Do they prefer being dull and un-educated? Especially as a teacher.... christ alive.

Yeah, I've decided to be a bit passive aggressive and just jump in and correct her every time she misgenders me. As soon as she uses my assigned pronouns, I'll just jump in with a quick "they".

It's kind of silly that I have to resort to this since wearing a frickin name tag has been ignored.

It is! I've learned that ignorant cis/transphobic people (as it does effect NB people) liked to do is the following;

"How am I supposed to know your pronouns when you look like (this binary gender)? It's impossible!"

*wears name tag. Explains pronouns.*

"Well now, how am I supposed to use those?! That's just silly!"

They always try and find a way out of being decent human beings.

Oh, even better.

"You're being too sensitive!"

"They isn't a singular pronoun!"

"Xe isn't a real pronoun!"

"But I've always known you as she/he!"

"You're just trying to be special/different!"

These things real get under my skin and make me question even leaving the house that day. School is awful. And there are scumbags everywhere making transphobic jokes. AAAUGH. I'm so done with how society let's people get away with this! Especially teachers.

Like I always say: "You can't drag some people toward success!)

"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them use your prefered pronouns."

the both of you hit the nail right on the head haha there will always be something to correct us about, or there will be something to whine about, and when that fails, they will just insult us and call us "special". One thing though, if you correct someones pronoun use for an animal, they fix it! Comes to a human and wow you're signing up for a whine fest.

Omigosh it's true though. It's like,

"Oh what a cute puppy! What's her name???"

"Actually he's a boy."

"Golly! I'm sorry! What's his name?"

But if it is another human being, (exaggerated for effect, how it feels)

"Oh hey, is this your friend? What's her name?"

"Actually I prefer to go by 'they'."

"OH WELL EXCUUUUUUSE ME. WHY DON't u JUST PICK? U CANT BE BOTH!"

It's like really? REALLY!?

^^
YUP, IT'S EXACTLY LIKE THAT! People so willingly throw pronouns at bloody everything, ///even boxes///! But correct them and you're in for wanting to put your head into the nearest wall. Incredible.

It's like, the box doesn't even need a gender. It's just two people preforming, so much of the dialogue is just banter back and forth. The script never even refers to the box with pronouns (shocking) becausr it's a (surprise!) OBJECT. This is a talking box, and the real concern is if it's a girl or not?!

We did rehersals yesterday, and our group got quizzed, making sure we were learning our lines. And the teacher kept using 'she' pronouns. And I lost all my confidence and couldn't correct her

I was so prepared to finally stand up for myself, and instead I kinda just sat there uncomfortably.... i'm such a scaredy cat..

You're not a scaredy cat, it's a nerve wracking thing to have to do for yourself, what makes it worse is not having seen many people do it before you because it is so nerve wracking. I think her reinforcing pronouns on you that are not yours is her actively trying to make sure she can still use them and not face any consequence for it. Like some teachers do "I'm right, you're wrong, shut up." which is very much not the truth here.

I am so sorry you have to deal with a teacher like this, I am glad your partner in the class sees this to because it means you're very much not alone, other people are seeing it happen.

You're never weak or unprepared if you can't get yourself to say what you want to right when you're put on the spot. Opening yourself up like that again and again can be extremely exhausting and draining. I get it.

Update: we're making pamphlets for the performance and we are putting little bios in it for us actors. I'm planning on using 'they' in it. Hopefully it'll turn out okay.

Still struggling to get people to see my genderqueer identity rather than as a girl.

Aaaaaaaaah we preform todaaaaaaaayyyyy! Omigosh I am way nervous. The rig is so last minute! And my whole group has begun just refering to the box as 'the box'. Everyone who sees the show will just see a box. No gender, just box. I have to sit inside it the whole time and work the lid so no one will see me.

So deviating from that initial start. The other day I was talking to a theatre friend, and said I'd like to start on T soon so I can balance my look more and deepen my voice. And his rsponse was the typical 'But you have such a cute voice' yada yada yada. And he comments that voice I often use in theatre is very high pitched.

And I had to explain that my higher voice comes out naturally louder for me, as my deeper voice is quieter and requires much more effort to project, and I probably blow out my vocal cghords trying to shout in a lower voice that I don't speak loudly in.

So my current theatre voice is very high and giggly, which makes me feel a bit weird. I sound like a little kid. I've tried voice exercises, but they haven't helped much.

So... is this where one is supposed to say: "Break a leg?"