[Daisyonthefloor]

TW : Dysphoria, coming-out, anxiety, talking about identity, kinda cissexist language (english is not my first language, I try my best).

Hi everyone!

I identify myself as being genderfluid/non-binary. I do not wish to undergo any hormonal medication or treatments.

That's kinda part of the problem because I don't feel i'm going to get taken seriously as genderfluid/non-binary. First off because my first language is french and I almost never speak english outside of Internet. For those who are not familiar with french grammar, french is an excessively gender binary language. Every adjective, pronouns, nouns have a gender. It's nearly impossible to be gender neutral while talking french.

Also, I do not wish to change my highly feminine first name because I really grew an attachement about my first name and i'm not confortable with taken this away.

I also want to be a professor and i'm SO scared. Can I just present as male or female in class and not have to explain it? How do you even come out as genderfluid/non-binary? .__.

I'm just so scared because I feel ''fake''. I feel like I would not be taken seriously at all. The only real modification I do when I present as male is chest binding, no ''feminine'' makeup and I try to hide my hair in a hat (works pretty well actually ^^).
I do not wish to make hormonal treatments because I wish I was assigned male as birth and had the possibility to be a fertile non-binary with ''male'' genitalia. The fact that I won't be fertile is totally a turn-off of having ''male'' genitalia. Plus, I kind of have an attachement about how sex feels like with ''female'' genitalia. So yeah. :/

What can I do? Can I still be considered genderfluid/non-binary without changing my name?
Coming-out tips? How is it working for you in the work place?

Note that I do not wish to ever come out to my parents. They just won't understand and I do not wish their support because I won't get it.

I also prefer gender neutral pronouns in english thank you. <3

[kraken1851]

Originally Posted by Daisyonthefloor

TW : Dysphoria, coming-out, anxiety, talking about identity, kinda cissexist language (english is not my first language, I try my best).

Hi everyone!

I identify myself as being genderfluid/non-binary. I do not wish to undergo any hormonal medication or treatments.

That's kinda part of the problem because I don't feel i'm going to get taken seriously as genderfluid/non-binary. First off because my first language is french and I almost never speak english outside of Internet. For those who are not familiar with french grammar, french is an excessively gender binary language. Every adjective, pronouns, nouns have a gender. It's nearly impossible to be gender neutral while talking french.

Also, I do not wish to change my highly feminine first name because I really grew an attachement about my first name and i'm not confortable with taken this away.

I also want to be a professor and i'm SO scared. Can I just present as male or female in class and not have to explain it? How do you even come out as genderfluid/non-binary? .__.

I'm just so scared because I feel ''fake''. I feel like I would not be taken seriously at all. The only real modification I do when I present as male is chest binding, no ''feminine'' makeup and I try to hide my hair in a hat (works pretty well actually ^^).
I do not wish to make hormonal treatments because I wish I was assigned male as birth and had the possibility to be a fertile non-binary with ''male'' genitalia. The fact that I won't be fertile is totally a turn-off of having ''male'' genitalia. Plus, I kind of have an attachement about how sex feels like with ''female'' genitalia. So yeah. :/

What can I do? Can I still be considered genderfluid/non-binary without changing my name?
Coming-out tips? How is it working for you in the work place?

Note that I do not wish to ever come out to my parents. They just won't understand and I do not wish their support because I won't get it.

I also prefer gender neutral pronouns in english thank you. <3

Hello Daisyonthefloor Welcome!

You're the one who gets to say who you are If you identify as genderfluid / non-binary, this is not invalidated by your desire to keep your birth name! You are not fake!

I often recommend Mikah's blog http://neutrois.me as a place to start reading about the non-binary experience. They have some great posts sharing their experiences with transition, coming out, the workplace...

There is no need for you to come out if that's what you prefer and choose to do. You should come out to people you trust if you feel they can give you support and help you feel accepted as the person you are. This is a big thing for me actually (I'm a pre-transition ftm). I don't want to hide who I am, it was (and continues to be) an immense source of stress. So it's good to be able to be around people who know and accept.

I'm sorry French is such a gendered language - it sucks. I'm from Germany and this is also quite heavily gendered. What I did was very sneakily change my gender (visible only to me) and my pronouns on Facebook (to them/they, I didn't dare going to male pronouns because I'm still not out to the majority of my friends) - I'm using fb in English, I'm not sure how it works in other languages. That provided some satisfaction, although it's only a very small thing.

As for being a professor - I don't think you need to explain anything to students unless you want to. Being AFAB means having greater freedom in choosing what you wear, I think - it's still more socially accepted for an afab person to wear male clothes than for someone who if amab to wear a more feminine style (hopefully, this will change in the future).

[kraken1851]

Sorry -- I meant to say that you should only come out to people if you feel like it -- can't edit my post for some reason.