If this is not already apparent, from other Threads I've posted in this forum, I feel incredibly embarrassed to be transgender. I don't really know why. I presume it has to do with my upbringing & the kinds of views that were prevalent at the time. Every little thing I do to try to assuage my "transgender imperative", so to speak, feels like a huge hurdle. And once I've done it, the self-consciousness over it doesn't seem to go away. It just seems to follow me around like a shadow.

I keep trying not to let my embarrassment overpower me. But it's an ongoing struggle. I wish I could be free to just do what I want... what I feel like I need to do... but there are expectations... and assumptions... there are boundary lines across which one must not tread. There are IED's planted alongside the pathways. Put your foot down in the wrong spot and KaBOOM!!!

Oh well... nothing to be done about it... That's just the way it is...

[sideblinded]

Hey Skeezyks...

There is no shame in being who we are. I questioned who I was many times over the years and it is embarrassing to me to question myself so much. If you know who you are then you are far above so many who think they know who they are and act like a whole different person. A lot of people don't know this but I questioned my sexuality and gender for a time period. Now, I only question my sexuality (now and then) and that in itself is also embarrassing. I see you as a strong person who knows what you believe and that is commendable just in itself.

[TheSeamster]

it's the stigma on trans people. Embarrassment is an extension of fear, which trans people are no strangers to.

[Rand.]

Seamster hit the nail on the head I think.