[TheSeamster]

Friendly reminders to everyone!

A friendly reminder to all my dfab siblings to bind safely! Remember to give your chest a break and to treat your breasts right, even though you may not like them very much. Your breasts are still an important part of your body while you have them, and extended or unsafe binding can cause serious health issues!

Never use ace bandage, always use an actual chest binder, or if you cannot obtain a chest binder, using a stomach binder can work too. But the same rules still apply. Always make sure you get the proper size, wash your binder, rest your breasts, and know your body, if you start to feel any pain or discomfort, maybe give binding a rest.

And to my dmab lovelies, same goes for you if you use a corset or binder. Be safe and know your body's limits. Remember that binding for too long can bruise ribs or harm your intestines, which are important! Also remember to be kind if you tuck as well. Tucking is uncomfortable and tricky, so remember to be patient, and be gentle. Don't wanna cause any damage!

Remember to keep clean as well and wash everything regularly! Don't forget to give your body a break and treat it well! Take days to just lie around and rest. It's okay to take breaks. You are aloud them. Take a hot bath, or play a video game, or partake in your beloved hobby! Play dress up by yourself and go through your whole closet and have fun!

Look in the mirror and tell yourself how great you are. Find all things you love about yourself. See anything you don't like? It doesn't matter. See that you are flawless before you see anything else.

And to my intersex darlings, all these rules apply to you as well. I want everyone to be safe and healthy through their transition!

Don't forget your hormones if your on them!
Don't forget your other medications!
Eat well!
Get outside!
And most importantly,
Remember that you are an amazing and wonderful human being. You are important, and you do matter. There are people that love you and support you always. Your life matters. Your gender is real, your expression is yours and yours alone. You are strong and brave and the struggle you face may be a mountain, and behind that mountain may be another cliff. But keep pushing through, keep on. You can do it. I know you can.

[Grey Matter]

good reminders <3

[TheatreKid]

Thanks, Seamster.

I've been binding for 4 years and it worries me a little because I definitely can't afford top surgery, I'm on disability. But the way it works in Ontario is you can go through the mental hospital to get top surgery covered under the province's health plan, but you have to jump through a bunch of hoops. If I even qualify it could take another year or more. I've applied, and have already been waiting a year just for the initial intake.

I don't bind at home because I live alone. I get dysphoria and wish the damn things were gone, but since I can't afford top surgery I try and bind as little as possible. That's anywhere from an hour or two a day to 12 hours, but the 12 hour days are very rare. The average is probably more along 4 or 5 hours a day. I don't bind tightly either - I'm just on the upper edge of normal weight so my chest isn't meant to be completely flat. Binding moderately with a binder with velcro on the side so it's easy to escape works for me. I never feel pain or much discomfort so I guess I'm ok.

[TheSeamster]

Originally Posted by TheatreKid

Thanks, Seamster.

I've been binding for 4 years and it worries me a little because I definitely can't afford top surgery, I'm on disability. But the way it works in Ontario is you can go through the mental hospital to get top surgery covered under the province's health plan, but you have to jump through a bunch of hoops. If I even qualify it could take another year or more. I've applied, and have already been waiting a year just for the initial intake.

I don't bind at home because I live alone. I get dysphoria and wish the damn things were gone, but since I can't afford top surgery I try and bind as little as possible. That's anywhere from an hour or two a day to 12 hours, but the 12 hour days are very rare. The average is probably more along 4 or 5 hours a day. I don't bind tightly either - I'm just on the upper edge of normal weight so my chest isn't meant to be completely flat. Binding moderately with a binder with velcro on the side so it's easy to escape works for me. I never feel pain or much discomfort so I guess I'm ok.

Your binding habits are very safe! The recommended maximum time for binding is up to 8 hours. You say your 12 hour days are rare, so that shouldn't be a big worry. And easily escapable binder is good as well! So any sudden pain can be relieved.

Sorry that top surgery is so hard to access there Hopefully that can be changed someday. Remember that binding in itself is not dangerous as long as you do it safely! Remember that when you remove it to cough heavily to rid your lungs of any liquid that may have accumulated, breathe deeply, and massage any sore areas. As long as you bind safely and take care of yourself, there should be no worries!

[TheatreKid]

Thanks! I wear it loose enough so that I don't feel it restricts my breathing at all - I'm a singer and an actor, mostly musical theatre, and it doesn't impede my singing, breathing, or acting at all. I used to train in opera and that needs a lot of breath, but I did it while binding without trouble. I don't bind over the stomach area, and apparently my chest looks male enough with loose binding because I pass 100%, people are usually surprised when they find out I'm trans.

As an actor there are often backstage costume changes and such and unfortunately due to binding I don't feel entirely comfortable changing with the guys, usually I change in a separate room, but I auditioned for a theatre school in March and changed with the guys for the first time. They just saw my binder. No one said anything. I want top surgery though, so I can go bare chested.

[TheSeamster]

Originally Posted by TheatreKid

Thanks! I wear it loose enough so that I don't feel it restricts my breathing at all - I'm a singer and an actor, mostly musical theatre, and it doesn't impede my singing, breathing, or acting at all. I used to train in opera and that needs a lot of breath, but I did it while binding without trouble. I don't bind over the stomach area, and apparently my chest looks male enough with loose binding because I pass 100%, people are usually surprised when they find out I'm trans.

As an actor there are often backstage costume changes and such and unfortunately due to binding I don't feel entirely comfortable changing with the guys, usually I change in a separate room, but I auditioned for a theatre school in March and changed with the guys for the first time. They just saw my binder. No one said anything. I want top surgery though, so I can go bare chested.

That's great that no one is hostile in the changing room! But I know the feeling of wanting to go bare chested. It feels more real than binding, I'd think. I'm an androgyne, and I'd really prefer to have top surgery. But it's so expensive in Indiana, and I don't know if there are any nearby states that have that kind of care. It's like 5,000 dollars to get it done, and I don't think that's even counting check ups and hospital stays.

I really wish trans* healthcare was more accessible I haven't even been able to ask my doctor about starting T yet.

[TheatreKid]

I'm sorry you're having trouble accessing T. I'm thankful it was pretty easy for that at least. I was lucky. Even other transpeople I know in my province had a lot of trouble getting approval. It was so easy for me that sometimes I feel guilty, or fake.

[TheSeamster]

Originally Posted by TheatreKid

I'm sorry you're having trouble accessing T. I'm thankful it was pretty easy for that at least. I was lucky. Even other transpeople I know in my province had a lot of trouble getting approval. It was so easy for me that sometimes I feel guilty, or fake.

Never feel guilty about that! I'm happy that it was easy for you to access T! That's a good thing! As for the feeling fake part, you are not fake. ^_^ It makes me glad when people have good stories about ease of access for their transition! So I'm glad to hear it was easy for you! That's a good thing!

[actual-spock]

Thanks for the precious advice i needed a reminder

[TheSeamster]

Remember that you are all very important and have become such a wonderful support resource and group of friends to me! And you are loved and appreciated!
Remember to love yourself. Take care of yourself. Practice self-care.

[TheSeamster]

Remember to take your medicine! Be it for a short flu, mental health, or your hormones!
Remember that it's there to help keep you healthy and keep your body going!
Remember that if your medicine makes you feel worse and it's been going on for awhile, to talk to your doctor!
Remember to communicate with your healthcare professional!
Be Well!

[actual-spock]

remember that your identity is valid. if someone ever tries to prove you wrong, please dont take them seriously. only you know and you own no explanations about anything as personal as your gender do someone.
remember, too, to take care of yourself. you're important.
remember never to give up. even if it feels like things have hit rock bottom, everything will get better. give yourself a time, you deserve it for being strong all the time.

[Grey Matter]

Reminder that if you are a ftm and you like wearing dresses, you're still male!
Reminder that if you're mtf and you still like wearing jeans and button ups, you're still female!
Reminder that if you are NB and you wear a bit of both, you're still nb!

Your clothes do not define how you express your gender identity. You do! And you'll all look great no matter what

[TheSeamster]

GUESS WHO'S BACK WITH MORE HAPPY REMINDERS AND LOVE?
IT ME.

Remember that your dysphoria is a legitimate emotion that not just trans* people feel and cannot be disputed as false or overreacting.

Remember that if you don't experience dysphoria it doesn't make your trans* status any less real. Dysphoria is an emotion, not a requirement.

REMEMBER THAT YOU'RE AWESOME BECAUSE YOU GET UP EVERYDAY AND KEEP GOING.

REMEMBER THAT I AM HERE.

WE ARE ALL HERE.

WE SUPPORT YOU. I SUPPORT YOU. WE CARE ABOUT YOU. I CARE ABOUT YOU.

It will get better. I know that right now it's hard. I'm going through it too. But I get by know that you're all out there being strong, so I stay strong too.

IT'S OKAY TO FEEL LIKE CRYING.

Crying is healthy. It's an emotion like any other. Sadness is normal. It's okay to not feel like doing anything today. It's okay to just want to lay around.

You're going to be okay.

If any of you ever feel like you can't make it or that it's getting too bad, call someone. Reach out.

Because you are important.

[TheSeamster]

IT'S BEEN AWHILE SINCE I DID THIS EH???
HERE WE GO AGIAN.

Remember that just because you identify with a different gender than you did when you first started does not mean it's less valid. I started thinking I was a trans man, then found androgyne worked better, and finally found I was a demiboy. Your gender identity may change, and that's okay! You're gender identity may not change, and that's okay!

Exploring different genders and finding your true identity does not invalidate your identity.

If your pronouns change that's okay too!

If you find a name you like more than the first one you picked, that's okay!

Being trans/nb and having so many possibilities means that sometimes things will change. How you see yourself might change.

Remember that your pronouns are yours. No one can tell you that they aren't legitimate. If you use neopronouns or nounself pronouns, go for it! They're yours!

There's no such thing as a 'fake gender'.

If your family disputes your gender remember that they don't get to pick and choose who you are. You are not their doll. You are not a toy for them to play with. You are an individual. You are you. You decide who you are. You make the rules for you.

Know what you're willing to put up with. Know when to distance yourself from people who don't support you.

Know that people come and go. Sometimes friends will leave. And family is not a constant. Remember that the most important family is the one you build yourself. The one you've chosen. The friends, partners, and lovers you surround yourself and bond with are more important than a family that happens to share genetics.

And remember to build a support group. Whether it be in real life or online. Find people who will support you through your transition, or will listen to you vent if your trapped in the closet. Don't feel pressured to come out if you feel unsafe. You're safety and health are number one. Take care of yourself. Know that you are not alone. Know that there is always someone who cares. Someone who will listen.

<3