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  #1  
Old Mar 19, 2016, 03:52 PM
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Jamie21 Jamie21 is offline
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i really hate my body right now female and fat body
i cant look gender queer as i am i have one binder but thats it and at the moment we cant find it
feels so bad that i want to cut them off
am not going to do that but i just feel like that some times as i have nothing i can use ...my husband hid the tools i use
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  #2  
Old Mar 19, 2016, 07:16 PM
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Skeezyks Skeezyks is offline
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Jamie21
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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
  #3  
Old Mar 19, 2016, 07:34 PM
Anonymous42671
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I'd tell him to give you back your tools, you need them in order to feel yourself. If he can't understand that then he needs to realize it's either he has you and accepts you, or he's going to lose you.
  #4  
Old Mar 20, 2016, 05:32 AM
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Jamie21 Jamie21 is offline
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i say tools they are blades and knifes
my husband dont want me to harm myself
thats why he has hid them
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  #5  
Old Mar 20, 2016, 02:44 PM
Anonymous48690
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  #6  
Old Mar 20, 2016, 07:48 PM
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Aracnae Aracnae is offline
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I posted about it in the body dysmorphic forum, which may have been the wrong place for it, but I'm going through something kind of similar. I'm glad your husband cares enough not to want you to harm yourself.
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  #7  
Old Mar 20, 2016, 10:39 PM
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Jamie21 Jamie21 is offline
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thank you all for replying to me and for the hugs
its 3.31 am and i cant sleep
went to an trans group this weekend
i want to bind my breasts there so big am a D cup 40
Am very fat and i hate myself
I compare with everyone i see especially trans guys or people who are genderqueer
I look so disgusting compared to everyone else
IF i had a knife or blade on me id be cutting them off
but my husband hides everything from me
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  #8  
Old Mar 20, 2016, 11:47 PM
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Jamie21 Jamie21 is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2015
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Posts: 268
found a knife ...i cut ...am ok clean and looked after it
a little told my husband i cut he more pissed off that i use one of the kitchen knifes
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  #9  
Old Mar 21, 2016, 12:15 PM
Anonymous48690
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Susie: I'm sorry that you feel this way sweety, we do too. We have decided to making out a plan for change, a goal to work for. Were laying out costs and what needs to be done first and trying to start saving for it.

This has really helped ease our dysphoria a bit....actually we're all excited about it. If and when is unknown, but we feel empowered since we are in the process of actually doing something about it.

Maybe something like this can work for you hon?
  #10  
Old Mar 21, 2016, 09:07 PM
Anonymous42671
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Get yourself a new binder if it comes down to it. Don't cut, and get a gender thereapist in there. Maybe they can do something about making it so then you can get a breast reduction done.
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