[KittyG]

Hi everybody, i'm just need some help. I'm on HRT and been doubting myself recently after seeing so many difference views on what it means to be transgender, i can't get a psychiatrist right now and i just want some help from y'all..

In one of my earlier memories, i remember a doctor doing an examination on my chest and he said bla bla bla bla "your daughter"...when he said that my life changed. to me that was the greatest moment in my life, everything just felt right until my mom became a buzzkill and said "that's my "son" >_<. Later in life i would play with boy toys like Balls and Super Hero stuff, swords and super heroes but earlier in my life i would like toys that were cooking and make up, also i was obsessed with having long hair. As a kid i used to put on my mother's make up and she would paint my toe nails, i would wear a local outfit for men in my country that is like a long plaid skirt, i fear of getting caught if anyone knew if i wanted to be a girl so i felt that was one way to cross dress without too much worry of getting caught. When i first went to a boy's school i couldn't fathom how mean and rough the boys were, we never truly saw eye to eye and i always saw myself as a tomboy-ish "cool" chick who was among the boys. i would eventually cross dress when i could alone by myself, from then on until my early adolescence, i would feel desperate feelings feeling like a girl, waning to be a girl, wanting to live as a girl and wanting to do things that girls did. All i could think of was of growing up to be a girl, eventually after years and years of being bullied i put on a more masculine front as a defense mechanism to protect myself because any sensitivity or feminiity i showed was received with being bullied. Also another thing i felt that i hear a lot of t-girls said was i loved looking at women but not being entire attracted to them but wanting to be them. i have been living as full time for a while and just got confused with the many ideas of what some feel being transgender means. I've been happier than ever and want to move forward with
my transition.

i appreciate any help, thanks

[Pflaumenkeks]

Hi KittyG and welcome!

In my community, trans just means that you are not the gender you were assigned on at birth.

This makes it easier to cover many experiences of being trans, like feeling trapped inside a wrong body or not, thinking of oneself as another gender only after hrt or not, etc

You say you always "wanted to be" a girl. Than it's great that you have ressources to HRT! For me you are not more or less trans then someone who says "I alwas was" a girl.

I'm happy for you that you are happier than ever and are able to live a life you allways wanted. I wish you luck and great people on your way! <3

[Skeezyks]

Hello KittyG: The Skeezyks is an older person now. But gender identity dysphoria is something I have struggled with all of my life. I never did anything about it, as far as transitioning (MtF) goes. (It's a long, complicated story & I'll spare you the details.) What I will say is that, from my perspective, being transgender can be SO confusing. Even after all of these years, I still don't understand what it was all about in my own life.

You wrote that you're happier now than you've ever been. That's really all that counts, isn't it? There are all sorts of ideas with regard what is included under the transgender umbrella. I don't understand most of the terminology that gets tossed around nowadays. The thing is, there's no test for "trans-ness". Each of us must decide for ourselves if we are & what that means for us in terms of how we live our lives. So, from my perspective, since you're happy & you want to move forward with your transition, what difference does any of the rest of it make? The only reason any of it should make any difference, I would think, would be if you were questioning your decision to transition. In that case, I would think the thing to do would be to get with a therapist who has experience working with trans individuals. But, as long as you're happy with, & confident in your decision, I would say just keep on going & don't worry about how people define being transgender. ! I send you my best wishes...

[waggiedog]

Hello dear KittyG and WELCOME to the wonderful world of Psych Central!!



I'm 'assuming' you are new here KittyG, and though I'm an 'old' (lol) member of PC, I'm new to this forum/thread. Although I'm not anything but a 'straight' female (whatever that really means!!), I have a lot of personal experience with TG issues.
My late husband transgenderd F to M in the early 1960's and believe me, it was a very different world than it is today, 'tho I know it still remains a sensitive subject. Back then there was just ONE Dr in London who specialised in TG at Charing Cross Hospital, London. In fact he was renowned world wide, he became the Dr everyone aimed to be treated by. It was soooooooooo controversial that when Psych Dr John Randle began his clinics, the world press would be waiting at the front of the hospital, yes, disgusting and sad. Even more so when you think that the 'Gender recognition Act 2004' was only passed by the british government following the European Court (1990) appeal and that was down to an English transgender first person who was born Barry Kenneth Cossey. Later known as Caroline Cossey but famously know as the supa model 'TULA'.

Anyways, I just needed to say that to let you know that I understand the angst ridden world of transgender folk.

I only want to say listen to 'THE SKEEZYS' (lol 'is an older person now) because the info Skeezys gave really is true, and the info from Pflaumenkeks. Go with your heart KittyG and don't a flying hoot to what anyone else around you thinks or says. It's never too late to be happy in your skin!!!!

LOVE and HUGS, as ever. P.S. If anyone should have any, and I mean ANY questions, I will answer honestly and truly. XXXX

[waggiedog]

opps, a little P.S.

I've checked back regarding the first TG clinic in London, and yes, it was def Psych Dr Jonh B Randell. However, as you may be very keen eyed, I spelt this important (mostly a very abrupt character) Dr.s surname incorrectly, not Randel but RANDELL. Because I've now become interested in this forum, I've done more reasearch over the past three hours. Another strong case and somewhat infamous court battle, was the case of Corbett V Corbett ~~ the English version of Cramer V Cramer. Only this was "April Ashely" (mtf) V her titled husband, who decided to be so cruel as to want to show the world he'd married a "man". ,
Oh yeah, as if he honestly HADDNT realised that, like, how do people get off on this sad behaviour?? Thanks goodness we've moved on for that stuff. :~(((((.

After reading your post....yes you are! Me too! You wrote my story.

[waggiedog]

Hi again. Another thing thats happened recently, is that it appears more and more Dr's are beginning to recognise that gender anxieties/concerns of younger and younger people, even children, DO NEED help. The documentaries I've seen in England and docs made here in the UK about gender, are at last taking these folks seriously. There's no question in my mind it's a step in the right direction. Yes, I know there's people who are against this issue, saying that it will make gender change become a ''fashion'' and maybe certain parents of young people will ''jump on the bandwaggon''. However, I don't believe this to be true, if someone is really really determind and after help with theripists, they still are sure thats the road they need, then so be it.

LOVE and HUGS, as ever. xxxx

[rwwff]

The way it seems to me is that if you've proceeded to HRT, and like the way it makes you think and feel; that pretty much settles the argument. From that point, you just need to navigate your way forward in life as best you can, with the knowledge you now have.