Importance of Female Partners Orgasm

Malachite · Feb 22, 2011 at 12:47 PM

How important is it to you, for your female sexual partner to be orgasmic ?

Martin^^ · Feb 22, 2011 at 06:21 PM

I feel that seeing your partner's pleasure is a major part of sexual enjoyment, so it greatly boosts my pleasure if I can see her orgasm. It can also be physically painful for a woman to be highly aroused but stop short of orgasm, so sometimes it is really important to finish what you started

That said, I try not to be obsessive about it - if she feels she 'has' to have an orgasm to please me, it puts us both under performance pressure and that detracts from intimacy and closeness.
Much as I enjoy my partner's orgasm, I love her, not her climax. It is a great expression of joy and life, but it is the cherry on top of lovemaking, not the main course.
Sometimes one of us climaxes, sometimes both, sometimes neither - the important thing is that it is a fun and shared activity which brings us closer.

Malachite · Feb 22, 2011 at 07:59 PM

Dear WolfSong,

I created a thread you can answer!

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=174662

Larry

Umbral_Seraph · Feb 23, 2011 at 02:22 AM

I wouldn't know.

Mike_J · Mar 31, 2011 at 03:49 PM

If only one of us is going to have an orgasum I would prefer it to be her. I just know it's a lot harder for my wife to get there than it is for me, so I make a real effort to put her pleasure ahead of mine.

JustLikeHeaven · Dec 05, 2012 at 02:27 AM

It's much more important to US that a woman has an orgasm than it is to women (at least that is what my female friends say).

Men tend to put alot of emphasis on her orgasm. Unlike men, women can enjoy sex without the release. SURE, they WANT to have one every time but if you are giving her what she needs (in AND out of the bedroom) then you have no problems.

Increase foreplay/oral and make sure he finishes BEFORE you start....just a thought.

Thor_Odinson · Dec 27, 2012 at 08:03 PM

Part of being a loving father is making sure my children are having fun. Part of being a loving husband is making sure my wife is happy...

Part of being a loving lover towards my wife is making sure she reaches orgasm. Either before, after, or at the same time as me, I don't consider it a successful sexual encounter unless she reaches orgasm.

Harley47 · Dec 29, 2012 at 12:31 AM

Well, never really been in the position where it's been a problem, so to speak, but to me, it matters. I would want her to enjoy things as much as she can, and I want to be able to do that for her, you know? I've heard it repeated a lot that women don't value the big O as much as we do, but still...I want her to be able to share that with me.

Thor_Odinson · Dec 30, 2012 at 01:00 AM

I can't say I've ever heard that women don't value an orgasm as much as we do. I do know they don't have 'em as often, and for a long time there was that whole "female orgasm myth"...

But I would think any loving husband / boyfriend would want their woman to reach as much satisfaction as possible.

allimsaying · Dec 30, 2012 at 01:34 AM

Her orgasm is my orgasm

Harley47 · Dec 30, 2012 at 02:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thor_Odinson

I can't say I've ever heard that women don't value an orgasm as much as we do. I do know they don't have 'em as often, and for a long time there was that whole "female orgasm myth"...

But I would think any loving husband / boyfriend would want their woman to reach as much satisfaction as possible.

That's more along the lines of what I meant. Poor phrasing gets me in heaps of trouble.

Dec 31, 2012 at 06:20 PM

Can't say I'm that bothered as long as I get mine. Her orgasm isn't my responsibility.

Thor_Odinson · Jan 02, 2013 at 07:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lycanthrope

Can't say I'm that bothered as long as I get mine. Her orgasm isn't my responsibility.

I'm wondering how old you are, if you're in a long-term relationship, and if you love this woman too whom you're referring.

bighands · Jan 02, 2013 at 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lycanthrope

Can't say I'm that bothered as long as I get mine. Her orgasm isn't my responsibility.

Well, that's definitely the other side of the discussion and congratulations on being the exception to the "sensitive men of the new millennium" movement.

I suppose in general, this question depends on if you're having sex or making love. To me, casual sex isn't much more than using her body to masturbate and her orgasm is of no consequence. If you really care for her though, you want her to get the maximum pleasure she can.

BTW, even if you're in it for just your own great orgasm, there isn't one better than holding off as long as you can, and staring into her begging eyes and her grimacing face as her whole body trembles and her pulsating vagina and thrusting hips squeeze you over the edge into your own orgasm... Yeah. Hers is important.

Damn, now I need a cigarette!

Thor_Odinson · Jan 02, 2013 at 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bighands

there isn't one better than holding off as long as you can, and staring into her begging eyes and her grimacing face as her whole body trembles and her pulsating vagina and thrusting hips squeeze you over the edge into your own orgasm...

Exactly!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by bighands

Damn, now I need a cigarette!

LOL! Let's all take a smoke break after that one!

Jan 02, 2013 at 02:56 PM

For me personally it's important cause I like being able to bring her to orgasm...to know that it was my touch or my movements or whatever combination of things that brought her to orgasm. For my ex, orgasm was the whole point of it. Sure, sometimes she would tell me me she didnt think she would have one and did, and other times she wouldn't have one at all but was very happy that she was able to satisfy me.
I suppose it really depends on the woman.
But the last thing I would ever want is a dead lay. I thrived on the noises and the movements and the talk....love a woman who tells me what she wants!

LifeIsCruel · Feb 12, 2014 at 03:22 AM

It used to be VERY important to me, however, as I have learned that now, 90% of a woman's look is fake, and 99% of what they say and feel is also fake.....I could care less if they get off, long as I do!!!

Webgoji · Feb 12, 2014 at 07:28 AM

Extremely important.

bronzesquid · May 06, 2014 at 10:04 PM

I used to always worry about this before sexual experience. Once I became active in a relationship I realized how little this mattered in life outside of basic sexual desires. My partner experiences it much more than I do and I've been fortunate enough to not run into problems in this department. That said, there are so many ways to make your partner feel good there generally shouldn't be a problem achieving this (remember it is more about turn ons than just simple physical pleasure). Sex should be an experience both enjoy and you have to work at it some. If you make it all about you, it isn't going to be a good habit in the long run.

bixkf · May 07, 2014 at 06:50 AM

I've spent all of my both homosexual and heterosexual relationships focussing on pleasuring my partners, sometimes to my own detriment. My T has been telling me that some of my intimacy issues and performance issues have originated from trying too hard to please my partners without really ensuring I am satisfied. It has lead me to have performance/anxiety issues that have reduced our intimacy, which in itself has caused more issues.
I truly believe that partners have to be completely dedicated to each other and the pursuit of sexual satisfaction. We are both responsible for our own pleasure as well as that of our partner. It isn't right to tell your partner "you have to make me cum". It has to be a total team effort.

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Malachite Member Member Since Jul 2008 Location: Williamson County, Texas, USA Posts: 261 15	Feb 22, 2011 at 12:47 PM #1 How important is it to you, for your female sexual partner to be orgasmic ?
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Malachite Member Member Since Jul 2008 Location: Williamson County, Texas, USA Posts: 261 15	Feb 22, 2011 at 07:59 PM #3 Dear WolfSong, I created a thread you can answer! http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=174662 Larry
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Umbral_Seraph Grand Magnate Member Since Apr 2010 Posts: 3,067 14	Feb 23, 2011 at 02:22 AM #4 I wouldn't know.
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allimsaying Account Suspended Member Since Oct 2012 Posts: 1,629 11 2,196 hugs given	Dec 30, 2012 at 01:34 AM #10 Her orgasm is my orgasm
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Anonymous200125 Guest Posts: n/a	Dec 31, 2012 at 06:20 PM #12 Can't say I'm that bothered as long as I get mine. Her orgasm isn't my responsibility.
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LifeIsCruel Member Member Since Feb 2014 Location: USA Posts: 207 10 193 hugs given	Feb 12, 2014 at 03:22 AM #17 It used to be VERY important to me, however, as I have learned that now, 90% of a woman's look is fake, and 99% of what they say and feel is also fake.....I could care less if they get off, long as I do!!!
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Webgoji Grand Magnate Member Since Aug 2013 Location: Wichita, Ks Posts: 3,535 10 993 hugs given	Feb 12, 2014 at 07:28 AM #18 Extremely important.
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