Importance of Female Partners Orgasm

How important is it to you, for your female sexual partner to be orgasmic ?

I feel that seeing your partner's pleasure is a major part of sexual enjoyment, so it greatly boosts my pleasure if I can see her orgasm. It can also be physically painful for a woman to be highly aroused but stop short of orgasm, so sometimes it is really important to finish what you started

That said, I try not to be obsessive about it - if she feels she 'has' to have an orgasm to please me, it puts us both under performance pressure and that detracts from intimacy and closeness.
Much as I enjoy my partner's orgasm, I love her, not her climax. It is a great expression of joy and life, but it is the cherry on top of lovemaking, not the main course.
Sometimes one of us climaxes, sometimes both, sometimes neither - the important thing is that it is a fun and shared activity which brings us closer.

Dear WolfSong,

I created a thread you can answer!

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=174662

Larry

I wouldn't know.

If only one of us is going to have an orgasum I would prefer it to be her. I just know it's a lot harder for my wife to get there than it is for me, so I make a real effort to put her pleasure ahead of mine.

It's much more important to US that a woman has an orgasm than it is to women (at least that is what my female friends say).

Men tend to put alot of emphasis on her orgasm. Unlike men, women can enjoy sex without the release. SURE, they WANT to have one every time but if you are giving her what she needs (in AND out of the bedroom) then you have no problems.

Increase foreplay/oral and make sure he finishes BEFORE you start....just a thought.

Part of being a loving father is making sure my children are having fun. Part of being a loving husband is making sure my wife is happy...

Part of being a loving lover towards my wife is making sure she reaches orgasm. Either before, after, or at the same time as me, I don't consider it a successful sexual encounter unless she reaches orgasm.

Well, never really been in the position where it's been a problem, so to speak, but to me, it matters. I would want her to enjoy things as much as she can, and I want to be able to do that for her, you know? I've heard it repeated a lot that women don't value the big O as much as we do, but still...I want her to be able to share that with me.

I can't say I've ever heard that women don't value an orgasm as much as we do. I do know they don't have 'em as often, and for a long time there was that whole "female orgasm myth"...

But I would think any loving husband / boyfriend would want their woman to reach as much satisfaction as possible.

Her orgasm is my orgasm

That's more along the lines of what I meant. Poor phrasing gets me in heaps of trouble.

Can't say I'm that bothered as long as I get mine. Her orgasm isn't my responsibility.

I'm wondering how old you are, if you're in a long-term relationship, and if you love this woman too whom you're referring.

Well, that's definitely the other side of the discussion and congratulations on being the exception to the "sensitive men of the new millennium" movement.

I suppose in general, this question depends on if you're having sex or making love. To me, casual sex isn't much more than using her body to masturbate and her orgasm is of no consequence. If you really care for her though, you want her to get the maximum pleasure she can.

BTW, even if you're in it for just your own great orgasm, there isn't one better than holding off as long as you can, and staring into her begging eyes and her grimacing face as her whole body trembles and her pulsating vagina and thrusting hips squeeze you over the edge into your own orgasm... Yeah. Hers is important.

Damn, now I need a cigarette!

Exactly!!!

LOL! Let's all take a smoke break after that one!

For me personally it's important cause I like being able to bring her to orgasm...to know that it was my touch or my movements or whatever combination of things that brought her to orgasm. For my ex, orgasm was the whole point of it. Sure, sometimes she would tell me me she didnt think she would have one and did, and other times she wouldn't have one at all but was very happy that she was able to satisfy me.
I suppose it really depends on the woman.
But the last thing I would ever want is a dead lay. I thrived on the noises and the movements and the talk....love a woman who tells me what she wants!

It used to be VERY important to me, however, as I have learned that now, 90% of a woman's look is fake, and 99% of what they say and feel is also fake.....I could care less if they get off, long as I do!!!

Extremely important.

I used to always worry about this before sexual experience. Once I became active in a relationship I realized how little this mattered in life outside of basic sexual desires. My partner experiences it much more than I do and I've been fortunate enough to not run into problems in this department. That said, there are so many ways to make your partner feel good there generally shouldn't be a problem achieving this (remember it is more about turn ons than just simple physical pleasure). Sex should be an experience both enjoy and you have to work at it some. If you make it all about you, it isn't going to be a good habit in the long run.

I've spent all of my both homosexual and heterosexual relationships focussing on pleasuring my partners, sometimes to my own detriment. My T has been telling me that some of my intimacy issues and performance issues have originated from trying too hard to please my partners without really ensuring I am satisfied. It has lead me to have performance/anxiety issues that have reduced our intimacy, which in itself has caused more issues.
I truly believe that partners have to be completely dedicated to each other and the pursuit of sexual satisfaction. We are both responsible for our own pleasure as well as that of our partner. It isn't right to tell your partner "you have to make me cum". It has to be a total team effort.

Some women get off on doing it with a man with the "as long as I get mine attitude". A sensitive, considerate, caring man is a milquetoast to them.

Important, but not as important as connecting.

There, I said it!

It's what happens when you fall in love with an INFJ
I'll just buy and hide some extra batteries though, incase She was just subtlety commenting on how long I last

Seriously though, balance matters.
I'd rather just lay with my GF for an hour, if that's all the time we get to see each other that week.

Whilst I agree, her orgasm is mine, and I have studied so much on the female body, that if you'd caught me reading in the library, you'd might think I was considering a sex change, but no, there is something past that.

I had to look up milquetoast.
Yes and those Women probably have deep seeded issues.
No thanks! Everyone has their own opinion though, I guess.

@LifeIsCruel: and would you go as far as to say, you can see how make up, is manipulation? Is about not being real, not presenting their full self? No wonder most Women fake it. I think those who do though, aren't worth being with, or they don't respect you. I mean "to save feelings", wtf, how about communicating?
(Women may talk a lot, but that doesn't mean they are good communicators).

Communication is important, including during sex, even if it's just a few words.
It's more about body language tbh. In the moment at least.

Why should guys only get to have fun. It should go both ways

I guess it all depends on perspective. I personally have always focussed on pleasuring my partners, be it men or women, before myself. I can, with little difficulty, stop intercourse after my partner orgasms without actually orgasming myself. It is always a nice conclusion if both partners orgasm at the same time, or just both orgasm.

Right now with the problems I'm having with the loss of sensation to my genitals, I am trying to deal with an inability to orgasm due to lack of feeling. However, I am more than willing to pleasure my wife orally, manually or with toys to make her satisfied. Unfortunately, she doesn't want have sex at all because she doesn't want me to me sad and disappointed by not having an orgasm. Now, on top of not being able to orgasm, I can't even get the pleasure from pleasuring her! For gods sake woman, be selfish and let me get you off!!!