[FallenIntoDarkness]

So, I'm 21. 6 months ago I broke up with my girlfriend of more than 2 years and I fell head over heels for her. We were really close until a month before we broke up when things fell apart. I found out she cheated on me (and she claimed it was rape, until a week later she told me the truth) and that honestly devastated me.

A few months later, we try and reconcile then her sister interferes and says some tomfoolery which ships me off to jail (charges getting dropped in a week from now).

I'm just not sure how I'm supposed to cope with the loss of this person I cared for so much. She was my partner in crime... the love of my life honestly... and the fact that she's gone really destroys me. Even more so now that she has a new boyfriend and what bothers me the most is the fact that they've been having sex. Like is that normal?

Originally Posted by FallenIntoDarkness

Even more so now that she has a new boyfriend and what bothers me the most is the fact that they've been having sex. Like is that normal?

I'd say so for someone who has moved on with their life. She obviously didn't have the depth of feelings for you that you had for her, or she wouldn't have cheated on you.

Is the guy she's seeing now the guy she cheated with? The fact that she's in another relationship makes it unlikely the two of you will be getting back together, so I'd advise to to try and move on too. You're still young. It might now seem like it now, but you'll find someone else to fill that void in your life you're feeling now.

Whatever you do, don't let yourself get pulled into doing something stupid that's going to land you in jail. Been there/done that, and she will continue on with her life while you're sitting in jail like nothing happened. It's something that could potentially follow you for years, depending on the charge, and you could be living with the consequences of your actions long after she's forgotten about you.

[Webgoji]

In answer to your question, it's pretty normal to be feeling the way you do. That's how attachment works.

HOWEVER ...

The last thing you want is to get involved with her again. If she will throw out the "R" accusation just to cover up her own mistakes and her sister will get charges brought against you, you need to stay waaaaaay away from them. The next time you could be on your way to 15-30.

[mountain human]

Originally Posted by Webgoji

In answer to your question, it's pretty normal to be feeling the way you do. That's how attachment works.

HOWEVER ...

The last thing you want is to get involved with her again. If she will throw out the "R" accusation just to cover up her own mistakes and her sister will get charges brought against you, you need to stay waaaaaay away from them. The next time you could be on your way to 15-30.

I second this...it's gonna suck for awhile, then you'll meet someone else and move on with your life. Sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs before you find a princess.

[FallenIntoDarkness]

Originally Posted by mountain human

I second this...it's gonna suck for awhile, then you'll meet someone else and move on with your life. Sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs before you find a princess.

Well, they're looking at a peace bond now and if she doesn't agree to it, it means that they're going to go to trial and prosecute me to the fullest extent of the law (6 months in jail possibly for "threats").

It sucks because like she was horribly psychologically, mentally and financially abusive towards me. If I didn't get her what she wanted she would get mad at me (flirt with other guys in front of me, etc), and she would often blame me for her being upset all the time and ugh... she convinced me it was my fault she cheated on me (after saying she was raped to begin with) and ugh... it's just so much. All of this just pushed me to a nervous breakdown.

My psychologist suggested that it's going to be difficult for me to get attached again... Possibly ruining my future relationships for good.

Like, I want to get out of my parents house, but my mom is stopping me trying to keep me here (they're hoarders).

Since the prosecutor is female, I'm thinking they're going to be pulling the whole "since she's a female she's the victim" card and screwing me over as a result, even though she's living perfectly fine and leaving me possibly permanently mentally scarred. It's just not fair. If she broke both my legs I could charge them, but if they break me mentally, I can't do anything about that.