[MotownJohnny]

It's kinda embarrassing - in my group fitness I just can't keep up with the weights the other guys can lift - and I'm not talking young bucks in their prime, either, in fact, at 49, I'm the youngest guy in there of 6. We do strength training 2 days a week, and cardio the other. They are all pressing 70-100, I'm doing like 45-50, maybe 60 on a chest press. Lat pull downs - they do the same, 80-100, I can do 70 tops. Don't even get me going on bench press - I'm stuck at around 100 most days, I can go 120 on my best days for like 1 or 2 reps.

OK, it's more than embarrassing, it's downright awful. And, we always work in rotation with a partner, and it's fast, with like a 10 second transition, so it's a pain for both of us, I try to adjust back up to the weight my partner is using, but still ...

Sorry to any lurking women but ... I feel like such a girl! It sucks. After doing this for 2 years regularly, I should have a lot more muscle. Maybe I'm just weak and always will be.

[MotownJohnny]

Oh, and cardio ain't all that great either, due to my pulmonary issues. The only sport I'm really good at is cycling, THERE I can hold my own for the most part.

Try this on for emasculating - some of the women in the class can do more weight than I can, too.

[Webgoji]

I worked out for years ... years! ... and could never compete with some other guys. I just wasn't capable of putting on the mass and strength. Genetics can be limiting and it's nothing to be ashamed of. Are you getting stronger and feeling better? If so, then don't compare yourself to others. If not ... then maybe you need to look at your program. Some people recover faster than others and you might not be recovering properly before pushing it again.

Also, muscle types play a big issue. People with what is called "fast twitch" muscle structures tend to have explosive strength but fizzle out quickly. People with "slow twitch" muscle structures have higher endurance but can't move as much weight. If you have a "slow twitch" structure (which it sounds like you might) coupled with pulmonary issues, moving big weights is going to be a battle for you. It's all personal and the only thing you need to worry about is you.

Second, don't compare yourself to women either. I was coaching my wife for the state powerlifting championships one year and she was bench pressing around 225 lbs. She could out-life plenty of men in the gym. Why? Because of the way I was training her, the diet I had her on, monitoring how each lift went, etc. But she's got some amazing genetics. What I'm saying again is that it's all personal. Just because they're women doesn't mean they can't move some metal and you shouldn't be comparing yourself to ... anyone.

Hang in there. Get healthy. Do the best you can and to hell with what other people are doing.

[MotownJohnny]

Yeah, I know, you're right about all of that. But, I want to keep up with the big boys. No delusions about ever bench pressing 525 lbs like my former PT used to do, but he was a serious competitive bodybuilder.

Yes, I am SO MUCH healthier, all around, including in the psych department, than I was ... so yes, I should see the glass as 90% full.

My physique isn't even all bad - granted, Jennifer Aniston ain't gonna throw herself at me any time soon, but as a guy who went from stocky flabby to decent at one point to flabby to fat, I'm proud of that too. Not quite a six pack but at least I don't have a beer belly or a paunch or love handles.

I just wanna feel like a real man, a little macho, not the bad cave-man treat women like **** kind, just the kind of guy who has some confidence and know's he's a little bit tough. It was denied me my whole life due to one thing or another, I want that, Hell, I kinda need that.

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by MotownJohnny

My physique isn't even all bad - granted, Jennifer Aniston ain't gonna throw herself at me any time soon, but as a guy who went from stocky flabby to decent at one point to flabby to fat, I'm proud of that too. Not quite a six pack but at least I don't have a beer belly or a paunch or love handles.

Sounds like you're doing great actually. Stick with it man!

Originally Posted by MotownJohnny

I just wanna feel like a real man, a little macho, not the bad cave-man treat women like **** kind, just the kind of guy who has some confidence and know's he's a little bit tough. It was denied me my whole life due to one thing or another, I want that, Hell, I kinda need that.

I can completely understand where you're coming from there actually. Have you considered taking a martial art? Knowing you can handle yourself if needed can be a great dose of manliness and can be a good confidence booster to boot. (Just be sure to get a good instructor.)

[MotownJohnny]

Yeah, been taking boxing lessons since Feb 2013, with about a 5 month break July-Dec 2013. That's pretty awesome, although it's not as "tough guy" as I envisioned, because it's all pretty good-natured - the guy is good, and I enjoy working with him. He's been training boxing for about 20 years, both competitive and fitness, so he could definitely lay me flat if he wanted to.

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by MotownJohnny

Yeah, been taking boxing lessons since Feb 2013, with about a 5 month break July-Dec 2013. That's pretty awesome, although it's not as "tough guy" as I envisioned, because it's all pretty good-natured - the guy is good, and I enjoy working with him. He's been training boxing for about 20 years, both competitive and fitness, so he could definitely lay me flat if he wanted to.

Way to go man! Sounds like you're pretty much hitting all the guy things one could do. The only other thing I could think of would be again, to go back and take a good look at your workout program and maybe adjust your recovery times and such if you aren't seeing gains in strength and stamina. But overall you're doing a great job of taking care of yourself.

Originally Posted by MotownJohnny

It's kinda embarrassing - in my group fitness I just can't keep up with the weights the other guys can lift - and I'm not talking young bucks in their prime, either, in fact, at 49, I'm the youngest guy in there of 6. We do strength training 2 days a week, and cardio the other. They are all pressing 70-100, I'm doing like 45-50, maybe 60 on a chest press. Lat pull downs - they do the same, 80-100, I can do 70 tops. Don't even get me going on bench press - I'm stuck at around 100 most days, I can go 120 on my best days for like 1 or 2 reps.

OK, it's more than embarrassing, it's downright awful. And, we always work in rotation with a partner, and it's fast, with like a 10 second transition, so it's a pain for both of us, I try to adjust back up to the weight my partner is using, but still ...

Sorry to any lurking women but ... I feel like such a girl! It sucks. After doing this for 2 years regularly, I should have a lot more muscle. Maybe I'm just weak and always will be.

Some background about me: I'm studying to become a fitness trainer (NASM), having trained quite a few people in the past. Lifting is what I live for, and I have injured myself in the past (herniated disk L4/L5), so my approach pays a lot of attention to injury prevention.

Now, coming to your situation, PLEASE DON'T TRY TO COMPETE with those other guys. What will end up happening is you trying to push a few extra plates, losing your form (esp on the last few reps), and injuring yourself. This is also why I don't like Crossfit - bunch of meatheads competing with each other, trying to impress chicks. That is the FASTEST way to injure yourself, PERMANENTLY.

Instead, get a trainer, perfect your form (bcoz developing good form is one of the best ways to be able to lift heavier), develop a strong core (core strength is key to lifting heavy), and be consistent (train more than 2 days a week ... maybe 4-5, if possible). Keep at it. Over time, neuromuscular adaptation will ensure that you will be able to lift heavier. Do not sacrifice form for weight, though.

One note about core strength and supporting muscles: Any "compound lift" utilizes multiple muscle groups, so it is good to develop strength in those other muscles as well, not just your target muscles. For instance, the bench press targets your chest, but the supporting muscles (anterior or front deltoids/shoulders, triceps) need to be strong as well, otherwise they will act as bottlenecks preventing further progress, even though your chest may be capable of pushing more weight. So, a good exercise for shoulders might be an overhead press. A good one for triceps is any kind of extension. These isolation exercises (as opposed to compound exercises) target a single muscle, and increase "prime mover" strength.

Bottom line: To support your bench press, also develop your core (abs, lower/mid back muscles), and your supporting muscles: shoulders and triceps. Your lats (latissimus dorsi) also help with stability during a bench press, so having strong lats (lat pulldowns, rows) is also good.

What Webgoji said about fast-twitch/slow-twitch muscle fibers is true, but you may not be realizing your full potential because you are just going at it with heavy weights. Instead, slow and steady, good form, consistency ... go up as you feel you are ready for it.

Good luck ! Let me know if you have any questions whatsoever. I live for this !