[Noctuary]

47 and no where to go. I never married; in large part because I never wanted kids. But now I feel vastly alienated from society, unmoored. I have nothing to look forward too except getting older, weaker, likely impoverished.

There's nothing left.

[CANDC]

Hi Noctuary. Welcome to Psych Central. Sorry you feel so distressed and lonely. Many people find a new interest in life here at Psych Central by meeting others and getting actively involved in the forums.

Glad you have joined our community.Many people here at PC find they can share these feelings and what they are going through with the confidence that people go through similar things and can empathize. So many forums are offered as well as Chatrooms (after you have 5 posts or comments on others posts). Depression chat meets on Thursday night at 9pm EST and Anxiety Wednesday at 8PM.

You can also be an active member in other ways like supporting others in their questions, reading articles and posts http://forums.psychcentral.com that are applicable to your area of concern.

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

[Noctuary]

I work nights so I can't access any chat rooms. I would just like a reason given why life is worth living (if that is so). I have no financial future, I am uneducated, no family close by or close to in any way, nothing going for me (there never was).

I just came to this realization tonight. There is nothing left.

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by Noctuary

I work nights so I can't access any chat rooms. I would just like a reason given why life is worth living (if that is so). I have no financial future, I am uneducated, no family close by or close to in any way, nothing going for me (there never was).

I just came to this realization tonight. There is nothing left.

There's plenty left actually. You listed just some of the things:

1. No education ... that's easily remedied by getting that education. Maybe it starts in community college or a GED and then a bachelor's degree. There are plenty of financial options for people our age as well.
2. No financial future ... that ties into 1. above. Work on that education and you could land a good job to help settle that future.
3. No family close by ... maybe it's time to move, shake things up. Get another job, get that education, totally start clean you know?

And don't give me that 47 years old nonsense. You've got 40 more years to go, you can get all I listed done in 10 years.

But I would start with a therapist, let them help you shake off the dust and see that you've got a lot to look forward to instead what you haven't done ... yet.

[Noctuary]

Originally Posted by Webgoji

There's plenty left actually. You listed just some of the things:

1. No education ... that's easily remedied by getting that education. Maybe it starts in community college or a GED and then a bachelor's degree. There are plenty of financial options for people our age as well.
2. No financial future ... that ties into 1. above. Work on that education and you could land a good job to help settle that future.
3. No family close by ... maybe it's time to move, shake things up. Get another job, get that education, totally start clean you know?

And don't give me that 47 years old nonsense. You've got 40 more years to go, you can get all I listed done in 10 years.

But I would start with a therapist, let them help you shake off the dust and see that you've got a lot to look forward to instead what you haven't done ... yet.

Plus I have sleep apnea; I've only slept well a handful of times in the last 18 months with no end in sight. I use a CPAP, but it is of limited effectiveness. I'm wiped out most days. Just getting up to go to work takes all the energy I have. I've lost weight, I've tried a prescription stimulant, tons of coffee......to no effect. What I would give to feel normal again.

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by Noctuary

Plus I have sleep apnea; I've only slept well a handful of times in the last 18 months with no end in sight. I use a CPAP, but it is of limited effectiveness. I'm wiped out most days. Just getting up to go to work takes all the energy I have. I've lost weight, I've tried a prescription stimulant, tons of coffee......to no effect. What I would give to feel normal again.

Now I hear that. I have to use a CPAP to sleep as well and some people even need BIPAP so that's something to consider. Also at your age you might consider something like Nugenix. I was able to afford a month on that supplement and I felt like a million bucks. It stimulates your body into producing more testosterone and I had energy by the bucket load, my joints didn't ache as much ... it was awesome.

[shakespeare47]

Hey Noctuary,
Your feelings are not uncommon, I suspect, even in people who have married and have children. I have both a wife and a son, and I'm about your age, and I still struggle with feelings of worthlessness at times. I feel like there is so much more I could have accomplished.

I am working on getting a degree and pursuing things that interest me just because they interest me.
I've been doing some research into certain people and also philosophical topics that interest me. I even hope to get published.

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by shakespeare47

Hey Noctuary,
Your feelings are not uncommon, I suspect, even in people who have married and have children. I have both a wife and a son, and I'm about your age, and I still struggle with feelings of worthlessness at times. I feel like there is so much more I could have accomplished.

I am working on getting a degree and pursuing things that interest me just because they interest me.
I've been doing some research into certain people and also philosophical topics that interest me. I even hope to get published.

Awesome, tell us all when the book comes out!

[shakespeare47]

Thanks! Baby steps, though. My first goal is to get an article published in a history magazine.

[Noctuary]

I'm afraid of anything that may raise testosterone. I've read that it can worsen sleep apnea.

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by Noctuary

I'm afraid of anything that may raise testosterone. I've read that it can worsen sleep apnea.

It actually helped it in my case because I lost 11 pounds while I was on it. (Of course now that I can't afford it again, I've gained that weight back ... soooo ... yeah)

[Noctuary]

So like I said, there's nothing left. Just day after miserable day.

Originally Posted by Noctuary

47 and no where to go. I never married; in large part because I never wanted kids. But now I feel vastly alienated from society, unmoored. I have nothing to look forward too except getting older, weaker, likely impoverished.

There's nothing left.

Hi, can you share a little bit more about your story ? Do you have any friends whatsoever ? What about women you've dated in the past ? What went wrong ?

What prevents you from forming a new social circle today ?

Curious to know more about you.

[Haserot]

Hello, Noctuary. I know life sucks at some point in our life it may seem eternal. But trust me it will end. I am a 19 year old man I stopped going to school because of many or should I say infinite reasons(Like Bullying, Don't like someone is teaching me I'd rather self-study, Stupid pressure, etc.). But here I am still fighting for my life and YOU should too. It will be hard but trust me it will be worth it. I wish you all the best.

[Noctuary]

Originally Posted by lilodian4ever

Hi, can you share a little bit more about your story ? Do you have any friends whatsoever ? What about women you've dated in the past ? What went wrong ?

What prevents you from forming a new social circle today ?

Curious to know more about you.

Every woman I fell for didn't reciprocate. Its just how it worked out.

I'm not really a people person; never have been. Now I'm old, angry and tired.

[Noctuary]

The only thing that gives me hope is that this life will eventually come to a close. That's all I have to hang on to.

Another long, fatigued day ahead.

[Daystrom]

Noctuary, I'm younger than you (37) but am feeling very much the same way these days. I'm single. No wife. No kids. No house. No nothing. Nothing but an empty future. That's the way it's seemed to me lately, anyway.

I've watched the woman I loved more than anything in the world move on, marry another man, and have his child. Watching this happen has destroyed me.

My career has taken a sudden downward turn. All of a sudden, I'm faced with the prospect of what I've always done for a living being inapplicable to a rapidly changing world. This, too has destroyed me.

But I'm still alive.

I've decided to go back to school. It's going to be tough. It's going to be expensive. But it's a chance to change the future I see. There are other options.

I know 47 seems to be late in life, but 37's not exactly a spring chicken either. Not in a world that values youth above all else. What's true for both of us is that we have decades ahead of us left to live, and we can still control the way in which we live them.

Me, I'm going to fight for those decades.

You can do it too. 47 isn't too late. It isn't. What I have begun to understand is that when you have nothing left to lose, it really never is too late to start again.

You can change your life. The long days can be filled up with things that matter. I believe this. I want you to believe it too.

[Noctuary]

thanks for the advice.

[Noctuary]

I don't want to fight. I don't want to battle this. The thought of having decades left fills me with a crushing despair.

[shakespeare47]

I don't know if this will mean anything to you, but there is evidence that optimism can cause problems. (Admiral Stockdale was in a Vietnamese prison camp for many years, and noted that the most optimistic of the prisoners often didn't do well in captivity).

The Stoics practiced a type of negative visualization, where they would imagine the worst outcomes, up to and including the death of their beloved children. But, they did it so they could appreciate their children while they did live.

I feel the same way, I'm 37 and I feel that there is nothing for me to do. I have social phobia and have spent my whole adult life without friends. I am uneducated and I haven't worked much.

[Noctuary]

Originally Posted by shakespeare47

I don't know if this will mean anything to you, but there is evidence that optimism can cause problems. (Admiral Stockdale was in a Vietnamese prison camp for many years, and noted that the most optimistic of the prisoners often didn't do well in captivity).

The Stoics practiced a type of negative visualization, where they would imagine the worst outcomes, up to and including the death of their beloved children. But, they did it so they could appreciate their children while they did live.

I studied Stoicism a few years ago. I actually fear negative visualization, that somehow it will come to pass because I'm thinking of it.

[Noctuary]

Sometimes it is really bad, and all the platitudes, and advice are just spurious grunts. I'm facing that now, the dark realization that there is nothing to look forward to, that the remainder of my days is grueling struggle. Hoping those days are short.

[shakespeare47]

Originally Posted by Noctuary

Sometimes it is really bad, and all the platitudes, and advice are just spurious grunts. I'm facing that now, the dark realization that there is nothing to look forward to, that the remainder of my days is grueling struggle. Hoping those days are short.

I find it difficult to know what to say, because I've experienced something similar, but it's hard to make comparisons, so I don't know how similar.

I'm also not even sure what it was that brought me back from those dark thoughts. And my life is no example of perfection, I can tell you that.

[Noctuary]

Originally Posted by shakespeare47

I find it difficult to know what to say, because I've experienced something similar, but it's hard to make comparisons, so I don't know how similar.

I'm also not even sure what it was that brought me back from those dark thoughts. And my life is no example of perfection, I can tell you that.

But in my case it isn't just thoughts; its a chronic illness that makes me feel wiped out almost everyday. Even with treatment its still bad. Doctors, medicine, breathing machines, etc. and I still feel bad. I just awoke to fatigue again this morning.