My wife and I have not been intimate in well over a year. No matter what, it hurts my gut. She`s frustrated, I`m frustrated. I just don`t know what to do.......I have lost all interest in sex, as I just associate it with over bearing pain anymore.

[Skeezyks]

Hello igiveupinohio: Are you taking med's of some sort? Many medications can have a chilling effect on libido. If you're on any types of prescription medications it might be worth discussing this with your prescribing physician. And then, of course, depression, stress, & anxiety can also put a damper on a person's interest in sex. These types of impediments need to be addressed in therapy.

One thing that sometimes happens is men lose the physical ability to have sex as a result of illness & / or surgery. They then have to learn to express their sexuality in different ways. It may be that what you're going to need to do is to learn new ways of expressing your sexuality in the hope that this will begin to resurrect your interest. I'm certain you could find books that would offer suggestions as to how to proceed. However, another alternative might be to see if you can find a therapist who works with individuals & couples who are having these kinds of difficulties.

Thanks! The equipment still works but it is just any position no matter what causes undo pain in my gut, thanks to all my surgeries. My so called shrink, all he does is tell me to take pills come back 3 months. And I can`t find a therapist anywhere near us, that takes our insurance. I really don`t know what else to do......

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Hello igiveupinohio: Are you taking med's of some sort? Many medications can have a chilling effect on libido. If you're on any types of prescription medications it might be worth discussing this with your prescribing physician. And then, of course, depression, stress, & anxiety can also put a damper on a person's interest in sex. These types of impediments need to be addressed in therapy.

One thing that sometimes happens is men lose the physical ability to have sex as a result of illness & / or surgery. They then have to learn to express their sexuality in different ways. It may be that what you're going to need to do is to learn new ways of expressing your sexuality in the hope that this will begin to resurrect your interest. I'm certain you could find books that would offer suggestions as to how to proceed. However, another alternative might be to see if you can find a therapist who works with individuals & couples who are having these kinds of difficulties.

[lilcreecher]

Talk to your general practitioner. They should know where to send you.

[RDMercer]

Wow... This sucks.

Is there anything you can do to share intimacy together? It doesn't have to be intercourse if intercourse is uncomfortable. It can be oral or manual sex, laying naked together and watching a movie with her touching you and you caressing her.

If you are committed to this marriage, then this is it, for you and for her... You are each the last person the other one will have sex with. I hope you can find some way to share this intimacy with each other.

[All Is Revealed]

This is bad news. Lack of sex drive seems to be the biggest problem for men taking medication. It happened to me. I told my psychiatrist I must stop taking Luvox since it affected my sex drive.

My psychiatrist asked me, "Isn't it better to be happy than to not have sex?"
I said, "If I lose interest in sex, then I will feel even more depressed."

Once I got off Luvox, my sex drive returned 2 days later. I'm very happy with my choice. We're too young to give up what makes us happy.