Afraid of physical contact

icecappe · Sep 28, 2016 at 08:46 PM

When I am talking with my girlfriend or just hanging out sometimes she tries to snuggle up to me, I would love to also, it is just that when she does it I sub consciously move away. She will get closer and without even thinking I will slowly move in the opposite direction. Does anybody know why I could be doing this

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Skeezyks · Sep 29, 2016 at 03:03 PM

Hello icecappe: I'm sorry I do not know why you do this.

I have a similar tendency at this point in my life.

However I'm an older person & my predilection for moving away has developed over time as a result of a whole collection of different issues.

Perhaps your reason for pulling away is similar. However this is something that would probably have to be explored with the help of a therapist.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks!

I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

SparkCat · Nov 16, 2016 at 06:32 PM

anything in your past that makes you insecure around sex and other intimate stuff maybe?

icecappe · Nov 16, 2016 at 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SparkCat

anything in your past that makes you insecure around sex and other intimate stuff maybe?

Nothing in-particular about sex and intimacy. The one thing I can think of is that I was bullied physically and mentally quite a lot in middle and elementary school. This made me less open to people in general. I do not know why that would affect my current relationship, I do not even move away consciously.

Nov 18, 2016 at 09:32 PM

If it's not something general you suffer from with everyone, do you know exactly how you feel about your girlfriend?

icecappe · Nov 18, 2016 at 10:13 PM

I mean it happens with a lot of other people too. It is just the WORSE with my girlfriend. I do not think I know exactly how I feel about my girlfriend because I like her a lot in a personality and mindful away... but once it comes to physical things I suddenly become tense and I sub consciously back away

Nov 18, 2016 at 10:29 PM

Are you physically attracted to her? Do you think of her this way?

icecappe · Nov 18, 2016 at 11:17 PM

I am physically attracted to her, I do think she is sexy and beautiful but when it comes down to actual physical contact is so hard for me.

Nov 19, 2016 at 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by icecappe

The one thing I can think of is that I was bullied physically and mentally quite a lot in middle and elementary school. This made me less open to people in general. I do not know why that would affect my current relationship, I do not even move away consciously.

I think what you mentioned [above] could be the cause. Being bullied can lead to feelings of mistrust see, so maybe without even realizing it you believe your girlfriend [people] might wish to hurt you, and so unconsciously you begin to move away. I'm just guessing, but that's what I think it could be.

that-one-guy · Nov 26, 2016 at 03:41 AM

icecappe,I do the same thing. I've never liked contact but with my Partner I started about 2 years ago and am never aware that I'm doing it.

ImmerAllein · Dec 12, 2016 at 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by icecappe

When I am talking with my girlfriend or just hanging out sometimes she tries to snuggle up to me

Please don't take this the wrong way, but YOU LUCKY F*** !

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icecappe Junior Member Member Since Sep 2016 Location: Canada Posts: 19 8 7 hugs given	Sep 28, 2016 at 08:46 PM #1 When I am talking with my girlfriend or just hanging out sometimes she tries to snuggle up to me, I would love to also, it is just that when she does it I sub consciously move away. She will get closer and without even thinking I will slowly move in the opposite direction. Does anybody know why I could be doing this ?
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SparkCat Junior Member Member Since Nov 2016 Location: abcd Posts: 16 7	Nov 16, 2016 at 06:32 PM #3 anything in your past that makes you insecure around sex and other intimate stuff maybe?
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Anonymous37870 Guest Posts: n/a	Nov 18, 2016 at 09:32 PM #5 If it's not something general you suffer from with everyone, do you know exactly how you feel about your girlfriend?
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icecappe Junior Member Member Since Sep 2016 Location: Canada Posts: 19 8 7 hugs given	Nov 18, 2016 at 10:13 PM #6 I mean it happens with a lot of other people too. It is just the WORSE with my girlfriend. I do not think I know exactly how I feel about my girlfriend because I like her a lot in a personality and mindful away... but once it comes to physical things I suddenly become tense and I sub consciously back away
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Anonymous37870 Guest Posts: n/a	Nov 18, 2016 at 10:29 PM #7 Are you physically attracted to her? Do you think of her this way?
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icecappe Junior Member Member Since Sep 2016 Location: Canada Posts: 19 8 7 hugs given	Nov 18, 2016 at 11:17 PM #8 I am physically attracted to her, I do think she is sexy and beautiful but when it comes down to actual physical contact is so hard for me.
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that-one-guy New Member Member Since Nov 2016 Location: Melbourne Posts: 5 7	Nov 26, 2016 at 03:41 AM #10 icecappe,I do the same thing. I've never liked contact but with my Partner I started about 2 years ago and am never aware that I'm doing it.
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