[zigbar]

I'm writing this as a 7 year romantic relationship is dissolving, and without going into too much detail, I feel as if I've looked for validation from her and from the relationship.
It has been said many times that we should care for ourselves and love ourselves first and foremost. I have to admit that I don't know exactly what that means. Or more specifically, what are examples of those behaviors and mindsets?
I think I've felt best when I have done something for others. And I'm sure that behavior was in large part to bring validation to myself.
I'm about to start living entirely on my own for the first time in almost 30 years, and I could sure use some tips on giving myself that kind of affirmation.

I’ve never understood what it means to love oneself first for a relationship to be successful either. What I think it means is that…I don’t know. I thought I had something there. Would love to read what others have to say to this too

"Loving yourself," to the extent of my knowledge, means to accept and be okay with yourself. To rephrase, to be happy with being you.

[Mikemac29]

I'm going to second what Kam$$! said. The one thing that makes me part of a happily married couple is the fact that we are two complete individuals, who choose to be together.

Loving yourself is simply accepting who you are, and having a sense of self worth that is not dependent on the other person.

[DocClyde]

That is the way I took it as well.

Treat yourself well and respectable and people will know you love yourself.

[Timgt5]

I agree it is much harder from a point of low self worth to maintain a relationship. Loving yourself is a building block to being confident to be open and honest with the one you happen to be with. Short of that, there always be a sense of holding back something which can be harmful in any long term relationship

I still struggle with this one myself, my wife has the patience of Job but I still often dislike myself and rarely ever feel worthy of her or anyone else's love.

[Harley47]

Originally Posted by Kam$$!

"Loving yourself," to the extent of my knowledge, means to accept and be okay with yourself. To rephrase, to be happy with being you.

I think this is it, personally, but with an important caveat. Loving oneself first, I think, denotes a sense of priority as well. You cannot shape yourself (beyond the scope of knocking off a bad habit or the like...I'm speaking to more broad personality changes) into something else for the love of someone else. You have to love yourself first for who you are before you can love someone else in a relationship.

Well I would have to say that I fail at loving myself because I actually don't like myself at all. I guess this is why I'm still single and never have a relationship work. I don't know how to really accept anything about myself so I just gave up I guess at some point a long time ago and just live day by day. I hope you guys have much more motivation then me to figure it out and not give up with trying to get better

[LifeIsCruel]

Man, I feel ya!

Wish I could help...but I loathe myself!!!!

[Numbed]

Ah, if only I could finish writing the book i've started on this subject, maybe I could read it, and take my own advice, instead of helping others before myself to negative results.

Harley47 is right, about putting your priorities first.

Taking time in the day, just for yourself, to relax as well, is something I am becoming more and more aware of (because i'm becoming more and more in need of, lol)

Healthy boundaries as well. Don't ask me to expand on that one xD

I think part of it might be taking some time now and then to "love your inner child".
Not got into that topic in depth yet though, but sounds about right.

[RTerroni]

I think that you need to love yourself before you can love anyone else.