[shakespeare47]

So, I've looked at the traits of narcissistic personality disorder...

• Expects to be recognized as superior and special, without superior accomplishments
• Expects constant attention, admiration and positive reinforcement from others
• Envies others and believes others envy him/her
• Is preoccupied with thoughts and fantasies of great success, enormous attractiveness, power, intelligence
• Lacks the ability to empathize with the feelings or desires of others
• Is arrogant in attitudes and behavior
• Has expectations of special treatment that are unrealistic

and yes, I do see these traits in myself.

the biggest issues these days is the desire for attention... I say and do things to get attention, and then feel like an idiot afterward. Other people notice that I have all the above traits, also, and give me a hard time.... I also am very impressed with my own intelligence, at times, even though in more lucid moments, I know I'm not all that special. There are certainly people I know who are more intelligent than I am.

I've just started therapy again, after 5 years... mostly because of BPD traits.... but, the therapist has also mentioned my NPD traits (same therapist- 5 years ago), as well.

I don't think I have the full-blown disorder, or I couldn't be aware that NPD is a bad thing, right? I thought true NPD's didn't even want help for their problems... and that they blame whatever problems they do have on everyone else.

[glok]

Hello, shakespeare47. Best wishes for achieving a good result in therapy.

Most people who do have NPD will never know it, like most of us it's all normal until the day you realize it's not. I believe most will never know that they have a disorder as it just seems of the norm to "us". Then there are some of us who do strive to recognize the negative traits and make a conscious effort to try to manipulate them. I know I have my days of trying to be better and others where I could care less and act in ways I know best. You see the hardest part is that for most of the time I am so comfortable with my ways and continue them. The problem is that these ways have impact on the people close to me as my wactions are great for "me" but really nobody else. (Sorry for all the "ways" used)
If you can recognize negative traits and you are ok with them are they really that bad??
For myself I know things around me are great..... The reality is we make others suffer to achieve these things and because we cannot feel empathy it makes it very difficult for them. To not understand how we cannot feel for them or that we could care less on their wants only to continue with what works for "me". It's so much easier to see a person not able to get out of bed due to depression or able to deal with others. They are hurting like us but can't deal with the world. What makes us so dangerous is our ways to act if everyone is beneath us while actually making others believe this. We have our coping mechanisms and unfortunately the ones around us pay the price for our "coping skills". Sweep people off of their feet only to reel them in and then shred them apart just to do it again and again. We cause pain, hurt, highs, extremely intense feelings and everything between. I don't set out to conquer it just happens!!! My ways are of me, not a plot to destroy or hurt unless I sense otherwise.
Long story short you may have NPD but it would have to be a PDOCs opinion not mine. As I have NPD and recognize it, so yes you can be and know it!!

[shakespeare47]

Honestly..... I sometimes long to be just average and relatively unimportant. It gets so tiring to need to be seen as the center of attention, all the time.

And when I hear NPD's described... I think to myself "if that's what I am, then maybe I should just become a hermit, so I don't continue to hurt people".

There are times when I try to get people to acknowledge me as an expert in some areas, and when they show me I'm wrong... I tend to believe them... I know I'm not perfect... I know I'm not the best at everything.

so, anyway... I would like to get help, so I don't continue to exhibit traits that are common among those who suffer from NPD.

Honestly if you care so much I highly doubt you to have NPD

[Atypical_Disaster]

Originally Posted by shakespeare47

Honestly..... I sometimes long to be just average and relatively unimportant. It get tiring to need to be seen as the center of attention, all the time.

And when I hear NPD's described... I think to myself "if that's what I am, then maybe I should just become a hermit, so I don't continue to hurt people".

Just based on your last sentence here, I doubt you have full-blown NPD. As a narcissist myself I do not care that I hurt others because I have no empathy. I am aware that I am very harmful to those around me, but it doesn't emotionally connect at all. So I don't care. I've been called "heartless" more times than I can count as a result.

[shakespeare47]

I think my therapist did agree that I probably don't have full-blown NPD... but, he did bring up the traits that I exhibit.

I do have empathy.... but, I don't always use it.

I have been called cold and calculating. But, I suspect some of that is just because of my INTJ personality.

oh well.... sigh... I'll probably be in therapy for the rest of my life... but, maybe that's not all bad.

[Gingy01]

Originally Posted by Underground

Most people who do have NPD will never know it, like most of us it's all normal until the day you realize it's not. I believe most will never know that they have a disorder as it just seems of the norm to "us". Then there are some of us who do strive to recognize the negative traits and make a conscious effort to try to manipulate them. I know I have my days of trying to be better and others where I could care less and act in ways I know best. You see the hardest part is that for most of the time I am so comfortable with my ways and continue them. The problem is that these ways have impact on the people close to me as my wactions are great for "me" but really nobody else. (Sorry for all the "ways" used)
If you can recognize negative traits and you are ok with them are they really that bad??
For myself I know things around me are great..... The reality is we make others suffer to achieve these things and because we cannot feel empathy it makes it very difficult for them. To not understand how we cannot feel for them or that we could care less on their wants only to continue with what works for "me". It's so much easier to see a person not able to get out of bed due to depression or able to deal with others. They are hurting like us but can't deal with the world. What makes us so dangerous is our ways to act if everyone is beneath us while actually making others believe this. We have our coping mechanisms and unfortunately the ones around us pay the price for our "coping skills". Sweep people off of their feet only to reel them in and then shred them apart just to do it again and again. We cause pain, hurt, highs, extremely intense feelings and everything between. I don't set out to conquer it just happens!!! My ways are of me, not a plot to destroy or hurt unless I sense otherwise.
Long story short you may have NPD but it would have to be a PDOCs opinion not mine. As I have NPD and recognize it, so yes you can be and know it!!

This is the truest statement. It's all normal...until someone/something throws it in your face that it's not.

[shakespeare47]

I do feel compassion for those who do have full-blown NPD.... It seems they're damaged... and it's not entirely their fault.. Just like those who suffer from other personality disorders.

[Atypical_Disaster]

Originally Posted by shakespeare47

I do feel compassion for those who do have full-blown NPD.... It seems they're damaged... and it's not entirely their fault.. Just like those who suffer from other personality disorders.

This was extremely refreshing for me to read. People often seem to forget that NPD is a disorder.

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

This was extremely refreshing for me to read. People often seem to forget that NPD is a disorder.

You can say that again!!!

[shakespeare47]

Do you ever listen to Sam Vaknin? He seems like a really interesting character.

Originally Posted by shakespeare47

I have been called cold and calculating. But, I suspect some of that is just because of my INTJ personality.

<----- INTJ as well!!!!

[Atypical_Disaster]

Heh, I'm an INTJ too!

Like friggin magnets!!!!!

[shakespeare47]

I think I see a pattern.. lol

A lot of us BPD's happen to be INTJ's, too.

I really enjoy a message board devoted to INTJ's...

Only no BDP for me only at the top of the chain with NPD who is an INTJ and a Gemini!!!! Recipe for disaster!!!!! Gotta love it

[Atypical_Disaster]

Originally Posted by Underground

Only no BDP for me only at the top of the chain with NPD who is an INTJ and a Gemini!!!! Recipe for disaster!!!!! Gotta love it

You being a Gemini explains A LOT, hahahahahaha!

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

You being a Gemini explains A LOT, hahahahahaha!

I did thank you!!!! But exactly what do you mean?????

[Atypical_Disaster]

Originally Posted by Underground

I did thank you!!!! But exactly what do you mean?????

Your writing style is a dead giveaway. Scattered, but you still speak the truth with much accuracy.

Yes my mind works much better than my mouth and fingers unfortunately!!!