Is it hard for you to say you are sorry?

How to Spot a Narcissist--Heed This Tip | Bonding Time

I take the silence on this thread, to mean that no-one likes to say they are sorry? lol

I know it can be very intimate and hard sometimes.

[here today]

I can say I'm sorry OK when it's something simple -- bumping into someone unintentionally for instance.

And psychologically, if it's something kind of simple and I either realize it myself on my own or realize it from something the other person said, then it's no big deal to honestly say I'm sorry.

If I'm in a narcissistic or otherwise defensive mood, though, then -- well, no I'm not exactly sorry sometimes. Even if somebody else thinks I should be.

[Atypical_Disaster]

If I actually feel remorse over something I've done, I have no issue with saying I'm sorry.

[here today]

Remorse for me shades into shame. Not very distinct. So -- if it goes into shame -- that gets into an "impossible" can of worms.

[redsoxrule]

I actually can say it very easily. However, meaning it is a completely different subject.

I appreciate the responses. I am not judging. I know it can be hard for lots of people to say it and mean it. This is not something that is hard, for just NPDs.

I agree it is easy to say if you FEEL it and MEAN it.

[Fuzzybear]

Interesting thread
(I'm a "non" and wasted too much of my life wishing the mother could just say sorry for....
It's an illuminating thread on many levels

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Interesting thread
(I'm a "non" and wasted too much of my life wishing the mother could just say sorry for....
It's an illuminating thread on many levels

They nicely let me post here.

I just wanted to add. My Mother died 2 mos. ago. A few months before she died,she told me that she was sorry she wasn't a better Mother, that she didn't know how to show her love for me.

That really did mean a lot to me and I thanked her.

So, if you can tell people that you are sorry... It may help you as well and it does mean a lot.

Saying sorry is something I absolutely hate. It is so difficult for me whether I were to mean it or not. I guess because apologies equate to being wrong and people like me have somewhat of an issue with this. I also have problems with the receiving part of an apology, this could sometimes have adverse reactions too.

[TishaBuv]

I coerced an apology out of my mother several years ago. She really didn't think she did anything wrong. She only apologized to end the fight with me, but it was teary and seemingly heartfelt enough to satisfy my pain.

Her usual responses are "I did the best I could", "You deserved it", "I did that and I'd do it again!", "I give tough love"

My Mother said she "did the best she could". Even if it was insincere, at least she had to address the fact that she knew that I was unhappy with her.

Originally Posted by Underground

Saying sorry is something I absolutely hate. It is so difficult for me whether I were to mean it or not. I guess because apologies equate to being wrong and people like me have somewhat of an issue with this. I also have problems with the receiving part of an apology, this could sometimes have adverse reactions too.

So you and your non-toxic partner of 20 yrs never apologize to each other?

I did not say we didn't. She would be the only person I have to apologize to in all this time obviously lol. Even so I hate having to say those EVIL words. It's like poison flowing out of my mouth when uttered. Kinda funny how this works!!

dribbling down your cheeks.

Burns and scars while doing so!!

For me, mental illness has meant always having to say I'm sorry.