Good relationship

Oct 12, 2016, 06:05 AM

Have anyone ever been in good, healthy romantic relationship? Non-toxic in your eyes?

(According to you, not the non.)

t0rtureds0ul · Oct 12, 2016, 06:12 AM

I have had periods within relationships that were healthy, but they all became toxic- if not toxic from the very beginning. I'm in this forum cos I have a tendency to pic narcs for partners a LOT- hence the high volume of toxic relationships!

Oct 12, 2016, 06:25 AM

The love of my life is NPD. (as well as my FOO). It breaks my heart that we can't be together. But I need to be loved and cared for.

I adored him and I was a very, very good girlfriend.

AllHeart · Oct 12, 2016, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ValentinaVVV

Have anyone ever been in good, healthy romantic relationship? Non-toxic in your eyes?

(According to you, not the non.)

Only in my fantasies.

I am trying to work from an avoidant, insecure attachment style to a secure one. Making good progress so for the first time ever, I can see the possibility of having a good, healthy, romantic relationship in the future.

Atypical_Disaster · Oct 12, 2016, 09:56 AM

Nope. My track record with romantic relationships is just deplorable.

here today · Oct 12, 2016, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ValentinaVVV

The love of my life is NPD. (as well as my FOO). It breaks my heart that we can't be together. But I need to be loved and cared for.

I adored him and I was a very, very good girlfriend.

What was it about him that you adored? I think my father had NPD but I felt like he loved me, in contrast to my mother and aunts, even if it was only because I was his daughter and not anybody separate from him. He was not critical but could forget about me in a minute. Nevertheless, when he was interested in again, it was was all positive.

From my socially proper mother and aunts I learned what I once called in therapy "We build ego for a living." And though I don't personally like that way of life and didn't really fit in with them, those were some very useful skills when I met my late husband. It was automatic, there was nothing intentionally manipulative about it from me. He likely had schizoid PD so my building his ego just brought it up to baseline, not overblown. He was my "soulmate", some might say we were enmeshed, but it worked for us.

Times have changed. Probably wouldn't work for many people now.

Too bad Underground hasn't stopped by and posted something. Why is it that he only shows up when HE wants or needs something!

09:38 PM

He has it going on.

Oct 17, 2016, 08:41 AM

Ok my cheeks are now hurting from my evil grin!!! LOL. Love the Deplorable's!! ANd yes I do have it going on don't I? Well I suppose we can't all be as lucky as I am. On a serious note my relationship with my wife is quite the opposite. Not to sound as corny as someone else here (ha ha) I too have found my soulmate. My wife is my perfect partner. She get's my crazy and never judges me in a way most would. She is very patient and understanding but at the same time does not allow me to get away with things as all others do and have. She is a challenge and one that I am now with for over twenty years. Our relationship has had it's moments but I always compare it to wine. We get better as we age and our twisted ways make for such a strong dynamic between eachother. She is the only person I trust completely and is the only one I can be my true self around and feel "my normal". I think one day I should start a post explaining this in depth but my ADD keeps me out of the loop if you know what I mean. So to answer the question, yes I am in a non toxic everlasting relationship that works perfectly.
Love,
Only ME

Oct 17, 2016, 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by here today

Too bad Underground hasn't stopped by and posted something. Why is it that he only shows up when HE wants or needs something!

I'm still trying to wrap my head around this..... I am here today and don't really need or want anything. That was too good, wasn't it? Here today, ha ha ha I am slapping my knee at the moment!!

here today · Oct 17, 2016, 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underground

I'm still trying to wrap my head around this..... I am here today and don't really need or want anything. That was too good, wasn't it? Here today, ha ha ha I am slapping my knee at the moment!!

Yes, very too punny!

. And I guess that must mean I'm corny, because I like puns!

Oct 17, 2016, 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underground

I'm still trying to wrap my head around this..... I am here today and don't really need or want anything. That was too good, wasn't it? Here today, ha ha ha I am slapping my knee at the moment!!

So you never have to apologize to your wife of 20 yrs? I don't buy that. lol