[defyinggravity65]

My worries about being a covert narcissist are coming back in full force because I just had the thought that what I always believed to be maladaptive daydreaming could have actually been narcissism!
I know I have crazy ocd about this topic and shouldn't be asking for reassurance but I really don't know if this is selfish or if many people do this? Please help me figure this out..
About 10 years ago I had a bad daydreaming problem where it took up most of my time. I would only dream about romantic scenarios and I could spend hours doing this, imagining I was in the perfect relationship. I still do it once in a great while, but I realized the other day when I was daydreaming that all my romantix daydreams are almost from the guy's perspective (I'm a straight woman). So essentially what I've been doing for years is retreating into my mind and imagining all these thoughts that this perfect guy is thinking as he's falling in love with me, like that I'm great for him and about how we have such a strong bond, how good of a girl I am, and in these daydreams I kind of imagine what I look like from the guy'a perspective for most of the daydream, and imagine that I'm the guy thinking that she (actually myself) looks so amazing, beautiful, etc. and I kind of picture that ideal love coming from someone else to me.
So I dream about falling in love with myself....wtf....I'm very disturbed by this

[here today]

So sorry you're feeling disturbed by this . . . from what I was told over 50 years ago, when I first went into a therapy, it's "good" that you are aware of this tendency!

I have had a more "covert" or codependent narcissism myself, so I can kind of understand, even if the particulars of my experience are somewhat different from yours.

And as a codependent (sometimes), I want to tell you "please, don't worry." But I also know that worry is OK sometimes.

So, back to to the first point, there is some merit in being aware. But. . .life goes on. Some narcissism isn't necessarily evil or wrong, as seems to be the common view these days. (But I'm old and can say things like that, on the basis of experience of how cultural ideas can change. )

[Atypical_Disaster]

Daydreaming is not a sign of narcissism, covert or otherwise.

[Starlana]

I love how in daydreams you are always a "better" you.