[Numbers]

Hi

I'm currently living with my sister who has recently been diagnosed with OCD, and I've been wondering about how to help her best. Should I do her rituals too? like when she has used the toaster og boiler or any other electric equipment - (lamps, tv, anything) she turns it off on the switch on the wall. Would it help her if I did that too, or should I not do it.. I don't know. When she asks me if I remembered to lock the door and close the windows would it be better to go check than just say yes? I'm not sure. Is it best to follow her routines or should I do things my own way?

Numbers

[Pup]

No, it's not best to follow her routines as that'll just encourage her to do it more.

Does she see anyone?

[Numbers]

yes, she talks to our normal doctor every second week because the waiting list for a real T is long.. but she's on the list, so she will see a pro in like two months. But i definetly shouldn't follow her routines? I guess it makes sense that it might encourage her, but doesn't it make her check things more times if she doesn't feel confident I do it right?

[Pup]

It doesn't mean you should go along with it. She'll do them either way. She needs to work on this, so you need to try and support her and encourage her to work on this.

[blueseas]

Having O.C.D is difficult and it must be even more for the families of those who have it and they happen to involve them in their rituals. The doctor will probably bring you and your family to talk with all of you as well.

[Pup]

^^ Being a sufferer of OCD, I'd say it's more difficult to suffer from it than to know someone with it. It's torturing. Yes, those who know someone with OCD may find it difficult to cope with knowing someone with it, but those with the OCD are the ones who suffer with the thoughts, the images, the compulsions, the urges, everything that OCD does to you, it's horrible.

[Numbers]

yes I can see that it's hard for her, which is why I want to help her as much as I can. THank you for your replies. I'm don't think the doctor will speak to my family though. I live alone with my sister and we're both grown up, so I don't think they do that sort of thing.

[Rmdctc]

I hope that your sister is able to see a T soon. I wish you good luck in trying to help her.

[Numbers]

Thank you Rmdctc. She will get help in a few months, but it seems a long time. And to all you suffering from OCD, I hope it gets easier.

[Maven]

Numbers, I think it's best to wait until your sister is in therapy to avoid doing things to help her with her rituals, because behavior therapy is best done under a psych's advice. He may tell you to refuse to do the behaviors, but he might not start her out having the family completely avoid doing things for her. Gradual might work better for her. That said, I don't think you should do anything that is too stressful for you or that seems unreasonable.

You're absolutely right, Pup! While I feel for people who have to (or choose to) live with us and be involved with us, we have it far worse, because we can't run away.

[deliquesce]

Numbers - i think it's great you are trying to be so supportive of your sister. she's lucky to have someone like you .

just my opinion, but please don't change your behaviours to accomodate her new diagnosis. this means that if you have always switched things off at the walls because she asked you to, just continue to do so. but if you have never done it before, don't change and start doing it - it will probably reinforce her behaviours, and she's the one who needs to tolerate distress and learn to change.

same with checking locks and things - don't change just because you know her diagnosis now. i think she needs you to be the same sister you have always been, and evidently you are a good one.

maybe if your sister is open to the idea though, you could ask if you could go talk to her Dr with her there also? just to find out some info on how best to support her. yes, she is an adult so i doubt her Dr would make it a point to call you in, but at the same time if it is something she is willing to allow then it would probably be very good for both of you. if she would prefer for you not to meet with her Dr, then at least she will know you were concerned enough to ask.