I feel so alone....

Hi I've had ocd/anxiety/panic my entire life. It used to come off and on up until I was about 17, ever since then it's always been with me and right now I feel more alone than ever. I have really bad intrusive thoughts. Thoughts that disgust and upset me more than you'll ever know...
I've been in and out of therapy my whole life....been on different meds since I was 12.....nothing seems to really stick. The last few years what has really gotten me is the obsession that I'm going to yell really disturbing sexual thoughts out in public, to the point where it feels like I really might! Although my psychiatrist assures me that these are normal thoughts for people with ocd....they still feel very abnormal to me, because they are so out of character. I also have other horrible thoughts about hurting people I love, things I love, etc. I AM NOT THAT PERSON!!! I WOULD NEVER DO THAT!! But sometimes the anxiety of it is so unbearable that I think omg what if it really feels like I might....so I remove myself from the situation (which only makes it worse but i cant help it). Ughhh I could go on forever......these things make me (obviously) very upset and depressed. I guess I just like hearing that I'm not alone....

Hello, Tal330. I wish I had the ability to cause the torment to go away forever. You are not alone. Please continue to post so we know how you are doing. Pax vobiscum.