[volatile]

My mother hoards everything.. I keep telling her she has OCD but she says she's not crazy (shows how much she knows about my problems let alone her own). I'm always trying desperately to teach her how to organize and throw stuff away or have a yard sale to get rid of junk but she just keeps it. keeps EVERYTHING. Trash is everywhere.

Is there any hope that I can some how change my mother's ways or is she going to be like this her whole life. It's so stressful on all of us having to live in clutter and junk. I've realized when a house is clean it feels like you can breath easy and relax.

Her main problem is paper clutter and magazines and news papers. she also keeps broken things thinking one day she'll fix them. I've also realized as she's been getting older she's been getting worse.

(I think I have OCD also but not with hoarding, anymore at least... I check things constantly and I have intrusive thoughts. My grandmother also used to hoard trash.)

Should I just ignore her issue with hoarding? It's just I know it's stressing us all out because there is so much junk but it's not interfering with our lives that much. We just lose things easily in the mess or trip over a large pile of news papers

[Squaw]

Originally Posted by volatile

My mother hoards everything.. I keep telling her she has OCD but she says she's not crazy (shows how much she knows about my problems let alone her own). I'm always trying desperately to teach her how to organize and throw stuff away or have a yard sale to get rid of junk but she just keeps it. keeps EVERYTHING. Trash is everywhere.

Is there any hope that I can some how change my mother's ways or is she going to be like this her whole life. It's so stressful on all of us having to live in clutter and junk. I've realized when a house is clean it feels like you can breath easy and relax.

Her main problem is paper clutter and magazines and news papers. she also keeps broken things thinking one day she'll fix them. I've also realized as she's been getting older she's been getting worse.

(I think I have OCD also but not with hoarding, anymore at least... I check things constantly and I have intrusive thoughts. My grandmother also used to hoard trash.)

Should I just ignore her issue with hoarding? It's just I know it's stressing us all out because there is so much junk but it's not interfering with our lives that much. We just lose things easily in the mess or trip over a large pile of news papers

I can associate with what you are going through. I AM A HOARDER... Even though I don't keep "trash", I don't like to throw anything away! I am Bipolar and this is usually a sign that by keeping things, you are missing something or someone in your life, and trying to compensate (maybe unconsciencely) for that, and this is definitely a medical condition. I think maybe you should ask your mother, or a family member may be better, if she can be evaluated, or at least talk to her and ask her if she wants help. Sometimes people don't realize they need or want help until they are asked. I hope she understands that you are only wanting to help her. If I can help, talk to me.

[AShadow721]

I can totally relate. I'm staying in a house my father used to live in. He now lives with his girlfriend. But all his junk is still here & I'm not allowed to get rid of any of it. Okay, there's an extra bedroom, (what would have been my bedroom, had I not moved out when I was 12) it's filed wall to wall, floor to ceiling with boxes, of mostly useless office supplies, like floppy discs, paper clips, and pens with dried up ink. There's also a refrigerator in there that doesn't work. There's even empty boxes in there. That's just that room. In the kitchen, there's no cabinet space. There's cups that fill an entire wall of cabinets & when they're all clean, a sink full will not fit in there. There's no surface anywhere in the house that's empty. My father has collected about everything in his entire life. The room I'm staying in has three dressers in it. There's no reason to have three dressers in one room. You can not hardly see any wall space in this whole house, there are things up against every amount of wall there is. This really makes me sick. And the feeling that you can't breathe in the house of a hoarder is right on. You feel claustrophobic. I really can't deal with it anymore. My father comes by maybe once a week if not less usually. One day, I started throwing a bunch of these cups in a box, bc I can't fit them all in the cabinets and it drives me nuts. I can't have all clean dishes at one time. I was going to throw them away, I'm sure with all this junk he has, he would have never noticed. Then my father just happened to walk in and he's like "What's in the box?" I said junk. He looked in it. He said "You worry about all your s*** in this house, don't worry about mine!!!!"

In my opinion, I don't think my father will ever change. He's always been like this. I started throwing away and giving away a bunch of my stuff, because I couldn't fit it all in the room I'm staying in with all his stuff in there to. I asked him one time a long time ago if he thought he was ever gonna get a bigger house to fit all this stuff in. He told me no, he's gonna get a garage. This is no way to live. I hope your mom isn't as stubborn as my father. I hope maybe she'll listen to you. But I agree with Squaw and she would know. I think hoarders feel empty inside, so they fill their homes, because they can't fill themselves. It is in the same way a person would self-injure to see the pain they are feeling on the inside. Their emptiness and pain will still be there, that's what you need to help find, what is missing in your mom's life.

[bluzman]

I can understand your dilemma,I have been a hoarder for a number of years myself and it got to a stage where i took over my parents house with my stash,till my father couldnt tolerate and one day when i had a relapse of my nervous breakdown he started throwing some of my belongings out in the street (and including myself)where he could not relate to what i was going through. My hoarding got that bad i rented a self storage unit which I have had for approximately eight years.... I am a huge music fanatic and collected guitars when i was financially endowed and music records (too many). I have to stay my prioreties eventually did change with the severety of my illness and in particular my realm of belief in creed and started to offload a lot of my possesions...The only itens i keep now are tax invoices,shopping receipts, and my past legal papers and documents.(oh yeh and my clothing)You never know when you may be summoned on justifying where youve been on a particular time or day.This is still very painfull for me keeping literally dzoens of shoe boxes of receipts,(many years worth ever since lossing my job)but i cant stop it.Possesions mean nothing to me any more,its all about my current existance! Please be patient with mum im sure at some stage hopefully her prioreties will change..... Take care and all the best!!!!!!

[bluestate]

I am a hoarder too. Not proud of it, but can't stop.

I don't hoard anything important except to me. Maybe having people come in here and take things made me start. It made me get rid of things other people might want anyway.

So I have all the boxes and crates of 'stuff'. I have tried endlessly to clean out, but don't get anywhere.

Someone above said they feel claustrophobic in a hoarders house. That may be another reason I can't 'cure myself' of this. I feel comfortable in the overstuffed surroundings, and agoraphobic without it. And since I avoid being around people as much as possible, this may be a way for me to feel comfortable hoping no one will enter my physical world.

I know it isn't healthy, but it is very hard to reason with oneself at times.

Are your parents stubborn or are they so attached to their things they would feel like losing things is losing a part of themselves?

[coko27]

Originally Posted by volatile

My mother hoards everything.. I keep telling her she has OCD but she says she's not crazy (shows how much she knows about my problems let alone her own). I'm always trying desperately to teach her how to organize and throw stuff away or have a yard sale to get rid of junk but she just keeps it. keeps EVERYTHING. Trash is everywhere.

Is there any hope that I can some how change my mother's ways or is she going to be like this her whole life. It's so stressful on all of us having to live in clutter and junk. I've realized when a house is clean it feels like you can breath easy and relax.

Her main problem is paper clutter and magazines and news papers. she also keeps broken things thinking one day she'll fix them. I've also realized as she's been getting older she's been getting worse.

(I think I have OCD also but not with hoarding, anymore at least... I check things constantly and I have intrusive thoughts. My grandmother also used to hoard trash.)

Should I just ignore her issue with hoarding? It's just I know it's stressing us all out because there is so much junk but it's not interfering with our lives that much. We just lose things easily in the mess or trip over a large pile of news papers

Thats how my dad is he keeps every junk he finds like old bills and If someone throw away any thing like theire old junk then he gets mad and go get it out of the trash yes I said out of the trash lol.Magazines and news paper old medicines bottle .And I just stop messing with him about It cause he dont listens and it stresses me with my ocd and panic attacks.So if you dont wanna get stress out just leave it alone.I dont have the hoarding just the compulsivesness good luck

[Aunt Donna]

My husband hoards. He doesn't admit it but he does. He has stuff he keeps in plastic storage containers. We compromised and he has his own room for his stuff. I admit I keep stuff thinking it will be of use later and it keeps collecting. I am trying to break the cycle.