[nibbits4me]

Hi, I just joined this website. I've had OCD as long as I can remember but it's gotten worse since I've had kids. My worst issue is that I am obsessed with fear of them dying. Every morning I wake up thinking about all the possible ways they could be killed and how I can avoid it. I have repetitive behaviors such as touching light switches with both hands, stepping on cracks, checking things 8 times, the list goes on. I worry that if I don't do all these things that my kids are going to die. And I know it's irrational to think that somehing so trivial would contribute to a death but OCD is not rational. It's quite a burden to feel his way, but I already feel better just telling somebody else. My husband wouldn't understand, and as a stay-at-home-mom of 3 small children I can't afford therapy.

[sundog]

Hi nibbits! Welcome! I'm sorry you're having these troubling obsessive thoughts. I have big issues with anxiety and I totally agree with you that it doesn't help to tell ourselves that our fears are irrational. We already know that! But that doesn't make the fears go away!! I really hope it helps to share your experiences here. There are lots of supportive folks on this site. Hope to see you around the forums!

[nibbits4me]

Thanks! I'm feeling better already just joining the site! I definitely am much more relaxed today than I've been in awhile. I was in therapy about 10 years ago but haven't really taken time to address what's been going on in recent years and it feels good!