[Phit-Phit]

hi my grandmother passed away 3 years ago and i just want to keep everything that she used of even looked at and i get really angry with anyone who messes with it?? Do i have ocd or am i just still hannging on?

[babygirl2201028]

well, It could get worse like you could become a hoarder.... But my ma has been gone for almost 7 yrs and I wish I still had it......It`s really precious. If you would be sad to let it go then defenently hold on to it. maybe even make an area like a memorial for her stuff and just be conforted by having it.. hope that helps........good luck, sorry about your grandmother passing.

[vertebrae]

Phit-Phit ...

It doesn't really strike me as OCD per se, in that you are wanting to keep mementos of your grandmother as they were when she was still alive, as there are people who will keep the room / house of someone who has died under tragic circumstances in "perfect" order so as to maintain the deceased individual's "presence" just the way he / she left it prior to their deaths.

It is considered a normal grieving process.

However, with your grandmother's passing several years ago, you may want to take a closer look as to why these items mean so much to you and why you become upset when someone else moves / uses / discards / etc. said item or items. There must be a "core" reason as to why you are being so protective or possessive of them.

Do you feel that you will ultimately lose your connection with her if her items are moved, etc.?

Or depending upon your relationship with her (close, distant, estranged, etc.?) do you feel that you are trying to make amends with her by keeping everything as it was?

You'll have to take a candid look at whatever may be the root cause for you to feel / behave the way you are right now.

Take care and be well,

vertebrae

[Seluoor]

I don't see it as OCD, more of a keeping her memory alive, perhaps creating heirlooms. My mom has stuff of my great grandma's that she keeps, and that I also will make sure is preserved, and my great grandmother died 7 years ago.

[Rose76]

I think the answer to your question would depend on how much your grandmother meant to you. If your gram loved you a lot and you loved her,then I doubt OCD has anything to do with it. Also, some people are more prone than others to invest sentimental value in things. I don't think one style of personality is better or worse than the other. My father was very sentimental about things that he connected with a loved one, while my mother was not. She was not less loving or less warm, by the way. But my Mom did discard a few things that caused my father to be very upset. I think she did not expect that his feelings would be that affected because she could not imagine feeling that way. So it may be helpful to just tell those who don't feel as you do that you need them to respect that you feel as you do. Also, tell them that they don't have to understand your feelings, which may be impossible for them, but just to respect yours.

I really like the idea of a memorial area. I've done that in my home. Gradually, I've been able to part with things. And keep what is most special.