Really distressed by trich-related hair loss

I've been pulling for over 20 years - I'm now 36 - and this year reached the point where the hair on my head is so thin and damaged that I decided to start wearing a wig. I never wanted to before because I was afraid it would look unnatural and would increase the danger of being "found out" as a hair puller. I've been wearing the wig for four months now and I love the feeling of having thick hair again, and it does feel more "normal" than wearing bandanas and hats every day.

But now I am getting increasingly anxious about the wig coming off in public, and more and more upset about the terrible state of my own hair and scalp. My hair has gone more than 50% white because of the damaged follicles and it is in a terrible condition. I am too ashamed to go to any hairdresser so have been clipping it short by myself at home. It looks hideous!

Meanwhile I have given up hope of ever stopping pulling. I;ve had several runs of psychotherapy over the years but nothing has ever helped me stop.

I feel so miserable about this. I'm studying just now, and the stress is clearly making me pull more, but now I fear that I'll never get a job again because I am such an out-of-control freak.

(((timrousbeastie))) - have your doctors ever recommended medication?? Did they tell you this is related to OCD?? Don't give up hope in getting help and I'm sorry you're distressed.

Thanks, Lynn. I'm on medication (citalopram) for anxiety/depression, and tried various other anti-depressants over the years but nothing seems to help the hair-pulling, unfortunately.

Thanks for the reply ((timrousbeastie)). Here's some links I copied. The last one is a new theory and it's also discussed here in this forum on anther thread. Does your doctor know about the hair pulling? I hope you find something that works.

http://www.anxietyarticlesite.com/tr...ling-hair.html

http://www.trich.org/

http://ontrich.com/a-possible-tricho...uest-post.html

This link here sounds promising:

http://www.pullfreeatlast.com/end-tr...ling-cure.html

I'm afraid I can't offer any advice, but I know how you feel. Fortunately I naturally have pretty thick hair so the hair loss has never been very noticeable, but I've been pulling my hair out for about 8 years and despite three lots of therapy have only once managed to stop for a significant length of time (1 year). Stress makes it worse for me as well.

But at the moment I'm into my third week without having pulled my hair out - I can feel that it's not long before it'll start up again, because I still can't stop playing with my hair, but it's better than nothing. Just take things one day at a time, and even if you start pulling again the next day after managing a day without it, that will still have helped your hair.

Also, if you can wear gloves and/or a hat while you're studying, that can help because it makes it more difficult to pull your hair out. Good luck.

I would see if I could find a hairdresser who caters to cancer patients who lose their hair, explain you have been ill (without going into detail) and see if they could clean up the look a bit for you and/or maybe shave your head (since you're enjoying wearing a wig).

It's your head/hair; if you enjoy the wig, enjoy it! Even if it comes off, you owe no one any explanations.

sorry you are in this place
I pulled for twenty years and have stopped (from age 10 to 30) am 48 now

there is research that shows that it is mostly an issue with intelligent kids who are intelligent and shy or taught to be seen and not heard

Stopping for me meant
1) greatly reducing stress... my stress factor was off the scale... and I went to exteme measures to lower it
2) standing up for myself... ex. when shopping if someone cut in front of me, I FORCED myself to say, 'excuse me, the end of line is over there.' At first insisting felt terrrible. After many years, I now do it automatically. So I no longer accumulate stress this way.

My eyebrows are gone... I got a tatoo. I found someone who did permanent makeup. As some else suggested, I just said that I had been ill (actually told her that I had had chemotherapy) Not her business anyhow.

I tell the hairdresser the same thing... not her business either. With age, I have learned not to care what other people think.

I don't know if this helps... but it can stop after many years.

My shrink says, the stress has to come out somewhere... some people use drugs, some people pull hair... gotta deal with the stress

roses

ps sometimes I use hair clips... it is like a hair extension but is not glued or sewn into the hair... it is like a barrette with hair attached... and there are lots of colours so I play with that. Society is good that way now... wigs are in, attachments are in , colour is in , creativity is in now... I please myself now. Not anyone else

and I get my hair died. the current colours are brown (natural), grey (natural), fine and clear (from pulling) and purple (died) This is the first time for the purple... it actually accentuates the grey. It looks artistic not natural and I have had lots of compliments but it took a request for purple from my boyfriend and a lot of guts... imagain a 53 year old man requesting purple hair lol

take care

Hello,

Thanks everyone for taking the time to reply and give me some encouragement. I liked the reminders that the state of my head is really no one else's business. I was bullied as a kid because of my appearance and ever since then I've somehow assumed people will be unkind if I look different - although deep down I quite like being unconventional. Maybe I should try purple hair next time!

And yes, pulling hair is my really unhelpful method of dealing with stress. At the moment I am trying to do too many things in my life, and the pressure is too much. Maybe when I finish the PhD in the summer I'll stop attacking my hair.

I have been a hair puller since I was 10. My mother was an alcoholic throughout my childhood which I believe is what triggered my pulling.

Anyway, I am now 40 & have worn a full wig since I was 17. My hair is also in horrible condition (white & brittle), but I don't have enough anymore so that I could never go without my wig. Since I don't have any real hair anymore, I just shave my head so I can attach my wig with toupee tape.

You should look into a wig shop that caters to cancer patients. The stylists there will help you with fitting, etcetera. I've been working with the same stylist since I was 18 and she's wonderful.

A wig shop that caters to cancer patients should have any supplies you need or you can even order them on Amazon. Usually, that's where I get my tape because it's only $3-4 a pack versus the $7-8 at the wig shop. Also, the curved individual pieces of tape seem to work the best. I prefer that over the roll of tape.

Hope that helps.

Thank you, Red Pisces. I think getting some proper advice from a wig shop is my next step. So far I've been too scared, and have ordered wigs over the Internet but can't be sure they really suit me. I guess, like you I just have to accept this is the reality for me and ask for help in getting the right look. Asking for help is something I struggle with (I think a lot of hair pullers do).

dear Tim, i felt like i could have written your first post, except for the fact that my condition was a side effect of psych meds, and the first 15 yrs i would pull myself bald... now i have almost stopped, and i blame it on the use of a brain enhancing auditory therapy, called Holosync, sold online by Centerpointe.com... PM me for more info if you are interested,,,, best wishes, Gus

Yes, definitely go to a wig shop that works with cancer patients if you can find one in your area. Asking for help can be hard, but trust me, the stylists there work with people like us every day. You don't have to discuss your situation with them either, you know. If you are embarrassed about being a puller just say you have alopecia. It's very common nowadays and is seen in wig shops every day.

I have a pretty small head and always need to have the wig 'tucked' so that it fits snug to my head. Tucking is where the stylist will actually cut out a few rows of the wig in the back and then sew it back together. That might be why you feel they don't 'suit you'. Maybe the fit is off. Also, I've found that the shorter wigs seem to look a little more natural than the longer ones...at least on me.

I know a few tricks to taking care of them too. If you want, feel free to message me.