[Rio_]

My hair pulling has got to the point where it's affecting my ability to study (staring into space pulling my hair out instead of writing, which is what I should be doing) and I'm finally beginning to accept that it's making the RSI (repetitive strain injury) in my hands and arms worse - there have been times where I've started to lose feeling in my fingers while I've been pulling my hair and it's not enough to make me stop until the pain in my hand becomes too much, which scares me.

I've been considering going back into therapy again - I've been to two psychologists and a counsellor before. The first time I saw a psychologist (aged 17) helped a lot for the hair pulling - I managed to stop for about a year, and it might have stopped for longer had my dad not effectively pulled me out of my sessions. The counsellor and the second psychologist I saw last year (aged 19 and 20) - didn't tell my dad this time because I was at uni and living away from home. The counsellor didn't help for the hair pulling (although she did help in other ways); the psychologist did, although not as much as last time - I only managed to stop for 5 weeks at a time at the most. (He terminated my sessions after a couple of months, and I relapsed not long after.)

Problem is, though, in a couple of weeks I'll be going home for the summer, which would mean that if I did go back into therapy I'd have to tell my dad - I don't think he'd stop me (I'd pay for the sessions myself so he wouldn't have the excuse of it costing too much) but it would make my summer pretty miserable, or at least awkward - and I don't know if it would actually help seeing as it didn't do all that much last time. I'll also be very limited who I can see because there aren't many therapists near my home (the one who I saw aged 17 isn't there any more) and I'll be working full time so would need an evening appointment. Waiting times for NHS appointments are probably too long for it to be worthwhile getting referred - I'll only be there between May and August - and dad would have even more of a problem with me going NHS because then it'd be on my medical records. (He doesn't know that it is on my medical records already, the second psychologist I saw was NHS... )

Ideally I'd stop on my own so that then I know I can do it - but I've done this before and have still started up again, which I suspect is what the problem is this time, I've lost my motivation because based on past experience I know that it won't last. My boyfriend's been great about it since I told him, and will physically remove my hand from my hair if necessary when he's around, but I can't rely on him babysitting me 24/7, I need to be able to do this myself.

But it feels like I've tried everything and it hasn't worked, this has been going on for years and I've only once managed to stop for any significant length of time. I'm destroying my hands and it's my own fault for not trying hard enough.

[BlessedRhiannon]

It sounds like you want to find a new therapist to work with, and it has been helpful in the past (even if only for a short amount of time). It also sounds like your biggest concern is having your dad know that you're seeing a therapist.

So...my question is....why does your dad have to know, if you're paying for it?

When I was in my early 20's, and living with my parents briefly, I was seeing a therapist and didn't want my parents to know and didn't want to discuss it with them. I scheduled appointments for right after work, and then would tell my parents that I was running errands after work and would be home late...or that I was going out with friends, or that I had some things to do and would be late. As long as they knew that I would be late, they didn't really question it. Maybe you could do something like that during the summer? I disliked lying to them, but it really wasn't any of their business either.

[Rio_]

Originally Posted by BlessedRhiannon

It sounds like you want to find a new therapist to work with, and it has been helpful in the past (even if only for a short amount of time). It also sounds like your biggest concern is having your dad know that you're seeing a therapist.

So...my question is....why does your dad have to know, if you're paying for it?

When I was in my early 20's, and living with my parents briefly, I was seeing a therapist and didn't want my parents to know and didn't want to discuss it with them. I scheduled appointments for right after work, and then would tell my parents that I was running errands after work and would be home late...or that I was going out with friends, or that I had some things to do and would be late. As long as they knew that I would be late, they didn't really question it. Maybe you could do something like that during the summer? I disliked lying to them, but it really wasn't any of their business either.

Sorry for the delayed reply...thanks, BlessedRhiannon. The reason I thought dad would have to know is that it would be very difficult to pretend I was doing something else - one of his friends works for the company I'll be at, and none of my friends live locally so I don't meet up with them during the week, I save it for weekends during the summer holidays. It's also very out of character for me just to say "I'm going out" or "I'll be late home" without giving a reason why. That's good it worked for you, though.

I still don't know if therapy would make any difference, seeing as it seems to help less each time I go back, and there's so little choice of therapists round where I live...but I'm not going to rule it out completely. I'll see how things are once I'm no longer having to revise for exams, that tends to make things worse.

[Perna]

From what I read, Habit Reversal Training (HRT) is the "in" thing now for it:

http://westsuffolkpsych.homestead.com/trich_cbt.html

[Rio_]

Originally Posted by Perna

From what I read, Habit Reversal Training (HRT) is the "in" thing now for it:

http://westsuffolkpsych.homestead.com/trich_cbt.html

Thanks, Perna, that's a really interesting article. Some of it sounds familiar from when I was in therapy, and some of it I do myself anyway. (I've taken to wearing a glove on my left hand when I'm studying or at the computer - as long as I'm by myself - which stops me pulling with that hand, at least...) Unfortunately I don't seem to have enough self-control to use a "habit-reversal response" that's less drastic than a glove, and I can't do that in public because I'd get all sorts of strange looks. But sometimes holding my USB stick in my left hand helps (it's got a cap that I can remove and replace with one hand - still repetitive but slightly better for my hand than pulling my hair out, and a bit more discreet), so I might be able to try harder with that and see if it works...

I'm back at work over the summer, might bring my USB stick there to try and control the hair pulling a bit (it got bad again last summer, which sucks because it's an open plan office so was probably fairly obvious what I was doing ) - will just have to hope they don't think I'm trying to steal company secrets. Tried a rubber band last year but it didn't work too well...

[timrousbeastie]

Hi Rio,

I really appreciated your reply to me. Just wanted to mention one thing I've been using which didn't require going out for a therapy session. I've been reading a lot about mindfulness-based stress reduction and thought it might be helpful for breaking through the "zoning out" aspect of trich. There is an online course you can do . I can't include links in my posts yet but do a search for "Be Mindful Online". It costs £40 and takes four weeks, with video-based instructions and recordings of different exercises which you practise in your own time. I really liked it, especially because you could download the audio and practise the relaxation and other exercises in privacy. It's not specifically for trich, of course, but it might be an option for you, just to try something new when you don't have easy access to a therapist. Good luck!

[Rio_]

Originally Posted by timrousbeastie

Hi Rio,

I really appreciated your reply to me. Just wanted to mention one thing I've been using which didn't require going out for a therapy session. I've been reading a lot about mindfulness-based stress reduction and thought it might be helpful for breaking through the "zoning out" aspect of trich. There is an online course you can do . I can't include links in my posts yet but do a search for "Be Mindful Online". It costs £40 and takes four weeks, with video-based instructions and recordings of different exercises which you practise in your own time. I really liked it, especially because you could download the audio and practise the relaxation and other exercises in privacy. It's not specifically for trich, of course, but it might be an option for you, just to try something new when you don't have easy access to a therapist. Good luck!

Thanks, timrousbeastie, I'll have a look for that.