[Lifeistrulyaride]

As I've been getting older..I've been realizing more things about myself that have made me think that I'm am a bit obsessive compulsive. I'm not really sure if I'm jumping the gun on this though..just some odd behaviors..

My mom doesn't clean. Or cook. She is like a hoarder almost. Our apartment looks like a bomb hit it. I've developed some weird habits though.. Every time I walk on the floor I have to clean my feet. I shower twice or three times a day. Usually if I touch anything I wash my hands. While making lunch for work in our kitchen...this is how it usually goes. I pick up the loaf of bread to open it..then I wash my hands once the bread is out..Then I open a container like Mayo or spread..then wash my hands..I open a container of turkey or whatnot and wash my hands..I put the container back on and wash my hands for each part of food..so I put the meat away and wash my hands along with the bread..I put the sandwich away and wash my hands once more. It's exhausting after awhile..but I feel like this bad feeling in me if I don't?

My mom yells at me..for not wanting to make our lunches..but I just try and avoid touching those things..the meat has a weird touch to it and so does the plastics and if I touch anything wet, sticky or of a different/clear color then I automatically have to wash my hands. I don't think she understands. I share a room with my mom which bothers me A LOT. My sister stole my room when I first moved out of college without my permission. She threw all my stuff in the living room. And I was furious and my mom approved of it. It felt like more of my independence was being taken away. I have no privacy. And my mom doesn't get it..she gives all privileges to my sister without even thinking about how it effects me. Just because I'm older she automatically thinks I should just deal with it.

I have bathroom rituals every night and morning. I wash my face more than anyone usually does. My girlfriend thought it was odd when I'd disappear into the bathroom for 15 minutes. I rinse my face. Then wash my hands. I then wash my face with a cleanser. Then wash my hands. Then wash my face with an exfoliator. Then wash my hands. Then apply a face mask for 5 minutes. Rinse it off and wash my hands. Then apply a serum. Then wash my hands. Then I rinse the bathroom counter. Then wash my hands. It's a continuous cycle almost.

Other than those 2 main problems. I get fear almost randomly. Like I have a purse..And I'll put my keys in a pocket in my purse..or even my cellphone..and I'll freak out maybe 2,3, or 4 times almost in the same 15 minute span that those items are really not in my purse. And I'll check constantly. And it's annoying and makes me panic a lot. The other day I was at Kay Jeweler's buying my girlfriend her birthday gift and I was required to hand the manager my license so he could make a copy. He took it to do so. I then started to panic and look through my purse..then my wallet..breathing deep..and I took all my cards out of my wallet and when the man came back I asked him if he still had it and he did.

I'm not really sure how to handle this and I don't think anyone in my family understands? My girlfriend does. She has a slight ocd problem. She carries hand sanitizer with her everywhere she goes..in her car..in her purse..next to her bed. I do the same thing but I don't use it that excessively unless I touch something I consider dirty..I just was wondering if you had any advice, tips for me..this is a new problem and I'm not sure quite how to address it.