[Disher]

I don't know if this is ocd so I apologize if this is in the wrong forum. I've had this state of mind for a while now, I've only recently started to really think about it. I want everything to be organized and neat in the world, I know that's not a reality so I settle on keeping my own life organized.

Here is a little scenario that I go through almost daily, getting home from work.
On my way home from work I make a mental list of every little task I need to do before I can relax. I also break down as many tasks as I can. So I think to myself "1. Walk in the house 2. Lock the door 3. Put away groceries(making sure all the labels are faced forward) 4. Go to room 5. Take off one shoe 6. Take off other shoe 7. Take off one sock 8. Take off other sock 9. Take off work shirt 10. ........." and the list goes on, I usually have about 30 or so things to do. I picture the house and the things that I'm doing, I imagine a golden glow around completed tasks and my goal is to make everything glow. I know it sounds strange, but I find more satisfaction in this than I do in literally anything else. I don't really want any friends or relationships because they are unpredictable and that means I can't constantly keep it organized.
I'm not like this everywhere though, I keep my workspace looking nice, but I don't feel an urge to organize the whole office, I would like for it to be, but I accept that it never will be.
I tell myself that absolute true happiness can only be found in a 100% organized world, and when I think about that world, I get that happy good feeling rush through my head.

I'm going to see a therapist about it, but I like to do research on anything new I'm about to do. So would you call this ocd? What kind of talking points would you suggest? I would appreciate any kind of response.

Thanks

[kaika]

I would call that obsessive, but not necessarily OCD. In my experience people who have OCD don't just feel uncomfortable if they don't go through with their compulsion, it actually feels like if they didn't it would have catastrophic consequences.

With that said I'm not a professional, and I don't know your entire story, so I can't really tell you one way or the other regarding OCD. Either way I'm glad you are seeking help for this because it sounds like you are in a significant amount of distress.