[GGK76]

My ex boyfriend has OCD I think. But I'm not sure, and I would love for him to get help if he has this disorder. Any advice is greatly appreciated:

- VERY, VERY, VERY organized...hangers in closet equally spaced apart, and never different. Everything has its exact location, and stuff has to be placed where he thinks or he will move it to satisfy himself. Ex - Where he places his wallet, where is watch is put down, etc. etc. etc...

- He doesn't want my help with folding laundry or washing dishes because he likes it all done to his specific qualifications.

- He became obsessed almost with arguments. Everything that I ever said or did in our relationship that hurt his feelings, he would bring up at later times, even when we discussed what happened and why. It was like nothing was ever really resolved in his mind, even if it seemed resolved at the time. He remember every argument down to the smallest details, and seemed to only be able to stay happy when he was with me. (Long distance relationship - so we only saw each other every few days, not every day) The minute he would leave me to go home, he would start a fight about something. I would have to listen to him vent about ALL of my past mistakes, and then he would feel better but only for it to be brought back up later

- He had a complete lack of ability to understand my point of view on disagreements. It was like if I didn't agree with his point of view, I was wrong. Period. No matter how much explaining I tried to do, and no matter how much he said it was resolved, in a later agruement down the road - he would bring up a situation and talk about it like we never settled it or he had never heard my explanation before. SO FRUSTRATING!!!! It seemed as though every thing he completely obsessed over, and his inability to let things go became too much for me.

- He has 2 little girls, and any type of mess drives him crazy. He makes them play in their room only, and no toys or child stuff is allowed outside the room for the most part. He blames this rule on not wanting his TV or console getting broken or messed up in his living room and because his apartment is small, they have to keep their playing and toys in their room, basically making them only allowed in their bedrooms for most of the time they are there.

Are these symptoms a result of him being OCD? So confused. Thanks for the help.

[Travelinglady]

We can't diagnose here, so I can't say for sure. But he certainly seems to be a "neat freak," anyway.

If you don't mind my suggestion, I think the two of you could use some counseling to talk about your relationship and to get a handle on his obsession with order. I am concerned that he doesn't seem to be willing to hear your point of view. If he won't go, then I encourage you to go without him. (He might resent your suggestion, come to think of it. I'm wondering if you shouldn't talk to a therapist first.) Then at least you could get a professional view of what might be going on with him, too.

[GGK76]

Thank you! I agree, I need to speak with someone who can get my self esteem back up so I can avoid getting back into such a toxic relationship. Constantly defending myself, my point of view, and basically who I am is beyond draining. I feel like all of energy has been drained out of me!